In The Blood : Faith and Loyalty
by early-recoil
Summary: (Sequel to In The Blood) After Boston, Amelia is back home on the farm. Despite her grasping at straws to get back to normal, she continues on with her life. Things go well for a while until unfortunate news pulls her back to the one place she would never be ready to return to. Her faith gets tested and her loyalties come into question when two Irish brothers take the city back.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello lovies! We're back again! So, you will notice some differences**  
**in our girl. Obviously she's changing and it's just the beginning. The first few chapters**  
**will be her progression into her life. She's gonna grow and become someone we can all**  
**be proud of. I am so excited! Hope you all are too! Hugs! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS. **

_"What I want from us is empty our minds_  
_We fake the thoughts, and fracture the times_  
_We go blind when we've needed to see_  
_And this leans on me, like a rootless..._

_Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you_  
_And all we've been through_  
_I said leave it, leave it, leave it_  
_There's nothing in you_  
_And if you hate me, hate me, hate me, then hate me so good_  
_That you can let me out, let me out, let me out_  
_Of this hell when you're around_  
_Let me out, let me out, let me out_  
_Hell when you're around_  
_Let me out, let me out, let me out_

_What I want from this_  
_Is learn to let go_  
_No not of you_  
_Of all that's been told_  
_Killers re-invent and believe_  
_And this leans on me, like a rootless..."_

Chapter 1 : Rootless Tree

5 Months Later

The morning air was cold, March always came with a chill. It seemed to almost linger on the skin and under my clothes. I shivered as I slipped into my boots. The sun wasn't even up yet, but my body was awake. I balanced the cup of coffee in my left hand while I fixed my jeans to hang over the leather of my old faithfuls. I pulled the hood of my jacket over my head and pulled my side braid out so it wouldn't itch my neck. Damn, it was going to be a busy day. It was almost 5:30, Tyler would be here soon to start the day. I yawned and leaned against the banister on our porch. The steam tickled my nose as I sipped the hot liquid.

I heard the early chirping of the birds accompanied by the restless sounds of the cattle moving in towards the fence. Impatient heffers. I grinned at my thoughts, I did love our cows. Loved to eat them even more. With that I chuckled and took another sip of my black coffee. Today I need to move some hay bales out, get the horse stalls mucked out and put a few of them out into pasture to stretch their legs. Was going to ride Shamrock around the property to check the fence, aswell. Mom has been talking about leasing out the 100+ acres we aren't using to hunters this fall. Shamrock could use the trip, I could too. Since I have been back home I've taken him out and about, but nothing to really brag about.

As I finished up my cup of coffee, the head lights of a familiar Jeep Wrangler started bouncing themselves up our winding driveway. I tipped the cup back once more, getting the last drop before running it inside and coming back out. He was zipping up his Carhart when I reached his Jeep. Tyler's eyes were mostly still puffy from lack of sleep I'd wager. I grinned and waved. Two months ago Mom had hired him. He was going to West Virginia State University for a business degree, Mom knew his grandmother. Agnes had asked if we could give him a job for when he wasn't doing school work. I liked him well enough, I reckon. Tyler was tall, right around six-foot. He had bright green eyes and cropped brown hair. I would call him stalky, but Mom liked to say he was built like a brick shit house. He was your average 22-year-old country boy.

"Mornin." My voice was too chipper, but I didn't care. Tyler flinched and I chuckled. He pocketed his car keys and groaned.

"How are you so...awake? It's balls early and the sun ain't even up yet." His moderately deep voice cracked and he coughed, grunting in emphasis. I nodded, motioning to the barn.

"Today won't be too bad, sposed to warm up 'round noon. Figured we get the hay bales out for the week, gonna get the stalls shoveled out...then that's about it." I watched him think about the tasks that lay ahead. His nose scrunched up. I rolled my eyes and looked at the sky. "C'mon killer, let's get ya some coffee." I started heading back in, hearing his steps crunch behind me on the gravel. He was pouting!

"Why ya gotta be so bossy?" He grumbled, but I heard the smile in his voice.

"'Cause I'm not a whiny ass college boy. We sign your check. Wake up Gomer." I swung the glass door into the kitchen open, motioning for him to enter. Tyler stopped at the door way and gave me a look.

"You're evil. You're an evil little woman." I met his fake glare with my own before he grinned and came in. I shook my head and came around to the coffee pot to get him a cup.

"You're a pussy." I shot back at him. He quietly slid out the wooden chair from the table and sat down. I heard him mumble something but I chose to ignore it. I opened to cupboard above the coffee pot and pulled out a black mug. When I set it down, I caught myself searching for the familiar sight of a chipped green mug. The momentary thought froze me. My chest squeezed and I bit my lip. A flash back of the old apartment hit me like a sledge-hammer. For a second I seen the old coffee pot, Dad's mug and my old rosary laying there. I blinked and cleared my throat, demanding my mind cut the shit. I got Tyler's coffee poured and made myself another cup, too.

Today was going to be one of those days.

* * *

When noon rolled around, I found myself grateful to be in the kitchen and making lunch. Tyler was gulping down some water and toeing off his boots at the door. He went to get Mom from her office to join us. I had already shed my jacket and was left to my muscle shirt and dirty jeans. I smelled like barn yard but it was okay, I liked it this way. It had gotten warm around 11, wasn't blistering of course but it brought out some sweat. Mom followed Tyler into the kitchen a minuet later and I shoulder bumped her in 'good morning'.

"What's for chow?" She asked. Mom usually didn't wake up until 8 or 9 and I didn't see her until lunch time. Her office acted as her voluntary prison right now, she was on book three of her series. I was still surprised it was doing so well in sales, Mom would never have to have another job again. She looked glorious in her sweats and signature over sized sweat shirt.

"Mmm...samwhiches and chips!" I grinned, handing her a plate and picking mine and Tyler's up. I came around the kitchen counter and set the plates on the table, dramatically plopping down and grunting as I took a long pull from my water. Tyler snorted and I shot him a look, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Maybe next time we should put your lunch in the trough with the pigs..." His green eyes glistened with self-satisfaction as I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Síleann sé i ndáiríre tá sé gleoite, huh?(_He really thinks he's cute, huh?_)" Mom chuckled but I didn't reply to her. I felt my back stiffen and I ignored the sudden urge to cut my ears off. I never spoke Gaeilge anymore. I was still just as sharp with it as the day I left Boston...but I never spoke it. Mom knew this too, but she'd slip some in every now and again to shake things up. Especially with Tyler.

"Mmhmm." I replied, trying to shake the sudden irritation off. Tyler was too busy munching his way through the BLT I made him to notice, but Mom did. I felt bad, I know she never tried to dredge the not so distant past up. But I knew the past had its way of weaseling in to shake me up. I focused on my own BLT, not looking up until I was done. I had been through a lot these past months but I could feel myself healing. It was an insanely slow process, but it was going none the less. The worst time was at night. I was back in my old bedroom, but being in a bed messed with me. I would usually end up on the couch in the livingroom.

When everyone was done and Tyler was walking out to go check on the hogs and make his rounds through the chicken coop, I began cleaning up. Mom intercepted me and pushed me out of the way so she could load everything into the dish washer.

"I didn't mean to ruin your good mood, honey." She said apologetically as she carefully arranged the plates inside. I shrugged and scratched my neck.

"You didn't. Had a moment this mornin' too, I just need to get over it already." I replied, a little frustration in my voice. Mom finished up and closed the washer, hitting a button to get it started. She straightened up and looked at me with her big dark eyes, seeing me the only way a mother could.

"You can't just get over that kinda stuff. It takes time." She frowned, pulling me in for a tight hug. I sighed and leaned my head into her. Her arms squeezed and she kissed my forehead. "You're the strongest woman I know. I am proud of you." I nodded and pulled away, walking to the door to get my boots back on.

"I'm trying." It was the truth, I was trying very hard to be okay again. But the truth also involved a broken heart and two sets of blue eyes that seemed to be lurking around every corner. My breath wavered. That feeling of abandonment and rejection would never sooth itself or go away. I still felt betrayed, I felt angry and just lost. I've taught myself how to switch auto pilot on for the worst days. For the less painful ones, I just pushed through and kept myself busy with work. Once my feet were in my boots, I could sense Mom's eyes watching me. She wanted to say something, but never got the chance because the phone rang. I didn't pay no attention to it until she made an excited noise and called my name.

"Amelia!" She chirped, tossing me the wireless phone. I caught it and stepped out onto the porch.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hello, this is Sgt. Donahue from the admissions department of the West Virginia Police Academy in Institute." I felt my eyes bug out of my head for a moment.

"Yes sir, how are you today?"

"I am good, thank you. I was just calling to inform you we have reviewed your application and you have been accepted into the summer course. You will need to be here on May 4th for check in and to get your schedule for your course work." I blinked a few moments, not sure I'd heard him properly. I made some noise and cleared my throat.

"I got in? Are you sure?" My voice cracked and I leaned against the banister. I heard my Mom come outside, hovering behind me. I could practically feel her curiosity. Sgt. Donahue was smiling, I could hear it in his voice.

"Yes ma'am. Congratulations Ms. Doyle." I exhaled loudly, not bothering to hide my smile.

"That's awesome! Well, thank you Sgt! Uh, guess I'll see you in May?" He chuckled and said his goodbye. I blinked a few more times before ending the call. I held the phone out to Mom and she was about to explode.

"Who was that?" Her voice was raised, her arms clenched at her sides. I regained my composure and tried to be 'cool' about it, just to drive her nuts.

"Oh nothin'...just Sgt. Donahue calling to let me know I have been accepted into the Police Academy for summer." The expression was priceless. Mom went still, searching my face for a lie. I just grinned and she burst.

"OH MY GOD!" She screeched, jumping up and down and throwing her arms around me. I let some of her happiness seep into my soul and reveled in the moment. We jumped up and down, yelling for Tyler to come quick. He too was happy, sayin' how much hell I was going to raise. I just snorted and accepted the awkward hug from him. After laughing and excitedly talking, I grabbed the phone from Mom again and shook it. She gave me another questioning look. "Who ya callin'?" I smiled sheepishly and sat down on our wooden porch swing. I was surprised she didn't know already.

"Callin' the old man. He's gonna be so happy." My heart swelled with pride. Not really for myself, but for the fact Doc was going to be proud. I missed him terribly, but I made sure to call him a few times a week to check in. He was like a father after all. I dialed the now memorized number and waited patiently.

"'Ello?" The familiar Irish accent made me grin and look at Mom, she too was smiling.

"Doc! It's me." I said.

"Aye! Lass! How're ye?" I bit my lip and bunched my shoulder's up in happiness. I made a happy noise and heard him chuckle. "What is it, love?" I inhaled.

"I just got accepted into the police academy! I start my course in May! AHH!" He let out a few curses and I heard something slam.

"T-t-t'ats wonderful 'Melia!" He paused to aim the phone away from his mouth for a 'Fuck Ass'. "S'prouda ye! Yer gon'te make a f-f-FUCK fine lady cop." His confidence touched me through the distance and I nodded.

"Thank you, Doc. Aside from Mom, You're the first to find out." He made a noise I could only chalk up to an 'aww'.

"Well, t'at is an honor. Shaun'll be happy fer ye, too. If'n Carrin was here wit us, he'd be passin' round cigars an' celebratin! S'what I'm gon' te do tonigh'." He paused and got quiet for a moment. "Yer doin' so well girl, don' stop. Keep fightin'. S'proud of ye. I love ye girl." I blinked back a few tears and looked out over the farm scenery.

"I love you too. Give Shaun a hug for me, yourself one too. I know it's probably time to start headin' in. I'll call you soon." My throat was quickly closing and I needed to hang up. He said his byes and I hung up. Mom was still smiling, taking the phone from me to announce she had to make some calls and spread the news. I gave her a smile and watched her go back inside. I was indeed happy, I'd need to call Shannon too. Let him know, asshole had put the thought in my head to begin with. Something told me he'd probably hear it from Doc before I got a chance to call him myself though.

But like everything else, the past was sneaking in on me today. First this morning with coffee, Mom at lunch and now Doc and his sweet words. We spoke of Dad in this house on occasion, but it was hard. Was getting easier, but not by much. Mom still didn't know the truth. I didn't have the heart to tell her. I mean hell, she hardly knew anything about...them and what had sent me home in such a mess. Luckily, she didn't pry a lot. She'd just requested that I tell her one day, and some day I would. I would tell her everything, all of it. But back to the point, it wasn't the mention of Dad that threw me off my center again...it was something else Doc said.

Don't stop, keep fighting. Rocco's bloody face flew through my mind and I felt cold. I had been trying to lock those weeks out of my mind. The smells, the noises, the pain and tears. I chewed my lip and stepped off the porch towards the stalls. I needed to ride, if only I could run from the memories that would be perfect. I would have discarded of them from the plane on the way home if I could have. I've already gotten rid of so many things, what would that hurt too? My boots hit dirt as I got closer to the stalls. I heard the welcoming whinnies of the few horses we had. I shook off the mid day chill and grabbed my saddle out of the tack room. Time to forget life for a while.

****Damien Rice - Rootless Tree****


	2. Warrior

**A/N: Here we goooo! Hope you guy's enjoy this one.**  
**I struggled a little with this one but hopefully it doesn't show much. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS.**

_"My memory refused_  
_To separate the lies from truth_  
_And search the past my mind created_

_I kept on pushing through_  
_Standing resolute, which you_  
_In equal measure loved and hated_

_You take me by the hand_  
_I'm seeing who I am_

_Teach me how to fight_  
_I'll show you how to win_  
_You're my mortal flaw_  
_And I'm your fatal sin_  
_Let me feel the sting, the pain, the burn under my skin_

_Put me to the test_  
_I'll prove that I am strong_

_Won't let myself believe that what we feel is wrong_  
_I finally see what you knew was inside me all along_

_That behind this soft exterior...lies a warrior."_

Chapter 2: Warrior

7 Months Later

My neck was sweaty, my palms ready to be out of my gloves. My dress blues were driving me crazy. I took a deep breath and looked down from the platform the summer rotation was standing on. I licked my lips, focusing on staying still in parade rest. I watched as those ahead of me got called to receive their certificates and pins. Family members and friends cheered. My eyes scanned the crowd from underneath my hat. Then sure enough, I seen my Mother wave. I grinned and almost wanted to cry when she pointed to the gray haired man beside her. Doc had made it! I had sent him an invitation but wasn't sure he'd make the flight. I bit my lip, anxiously waiting for my name to be called. Where my last name started with a D, it didn't take very long.

"Officer Amelia Doyle."

Sgt. Donahue called my name. I felt my heart pound and I stepped forward. I turned on my heel and strode over to the uniformed man. Sgt. Donahue was probably the best self defense and combatatives teacher this side of the Mississippi. I heard my mother and Doc hollering for me, many others clapping. My head was held high as Sgt's usually stern brown eyes seemed warm. He saluted me, which I returned and he placed a pin on my uniform. "Congratulations Officer Doyle. Did damn fine." His voice lowered to tell me. I dropped my hand and nodded, accepting my certificate. My eyes briefly misted over as I went back to my previous spot in formation. I spotted Mom and Doc again, she of course was dabbing her eyes and Doc too seemed a bit emotional.

I smiled once more, feeling the best I have in year. I had needed this for myself. After all the struggles and hard work I am now going to be able to give back to the world. I blinked and didn't wipe the one tear from my cheek. I had done this. Wasn't going to be someone's victim anymore. All me. No...'Saint's' watching my back. I had this shit. I swallowed the lump in my throat when I thought of my father. His bright blue eyes would be watery, his grin would be priceless and he'd be fumbling with that damn fedora hat he adored. As if his memory summoned his spirit, I felt him there with me. That familiar warmth. My heart swelled, I know Dad. I really did do good. I could practically hear his 'I love you's'. I let out a shaky breath and the man next to me bumped me with his elbow.

I flushed, sheepish of my momentary sentiments. I cast a side glance, and seen Johnson had the same look in his eyes. He was older than I by a few years, 25 to my 19. But he was a great guy. I nodded and got myself together quickly. I just wanted this to be over with, wanted to hug Doc and crack into that bottle of Jameson Mom had promised was waiting for me at the house. I had been dormed here for the past 6 months and was ready to go home for a week. I still had to put in for a spot with Roane County PD. But I was pretty confidant with my ability to find a job there, I had the second best report of this class.

An hour later we were released to our families and friends. I took my cap off, tucking it neatly between my arm and side. I was scanning the crowd for my people, my lip was sore by now where I had chewed it so much. Then out of thin air I was attacked with a massive hug. Mom was still in tears as she blubbered into my hair. I laughed, reaching for Doc's hand and pulled him in too. Mom let go and I gave the old man a warm welcome. His faded blue eyes were red with evidence of his emotion.

"Lass!" He let out, patting my back before pulling away. I gave out an exasperated sigh before hugging him tightly again. "Ye look good! Ne'vr t'ot te uniform would be so fitting on ye!" I let go of him once more and shrugged.

"It's different. I like it though." I did indeed. I had bled, sweat and teared for this uniform. I swore an oath to this uniform. Seeing Doc's face was a balm to the soul. I knew I had missed him, but I hadn't realized how much until seeing him now. "When did you get in?" I asked, looking to Mom and back to him. Mom grinned and patted him on the shoulder.

"He came in on the red eye. Picked him up at Yeager and took him to breakfast, showed him around. Don't worry, he got himself a nap." Over the past few months she too has gotten close to him via phone. Doc was like a father to us both.

"Aye, t'is a beautiful place. Not nearly as big as Boston, but nice. Love te mountains." He added.

"Yessir, now I know y'all heard about the banquet but honestly, I just wanna go home. That bottle of Jameson is callin' my name." I had seen enough of this for right now, I just wanted to change and get into my jeans. Kind of expected Mom to be disappointed but she shrugged and motioned towards the exit.

"Fine by me, got a roast in the crock pot anyways. Should be done by the time we get home." That was the awesome news.

"Hell yes, to home!" I announced dramatically, winding my arms with Doc's and leading the way.

* * *

One Year Later

"Roane County control, this is unit 182. The scene is 10-48. Will be in route back to station." I keyed down the radio, setting it down. I sighed, today had been a long day and it was far from being over. "What a shit day." I said in a low voice, wishing it would pick up or something. My partner, Tristan Sommerfeld, nodded and sighed too.

"No shit, been drivin' around all fuckin' day without much of anything happenin'." Tristan was a good guy, a bit self envolved but he was a good cop. He had a son and was too young to be divorced, looked even younger. He was 31 and had been on the job for 11 years. The captain paired me with him, wanting to get his newest and bright eyed officer a great partner to show her how to get the job done. Also, the recommendation letter from Smecker hadn't hurt, either. But I hadn't known about it. I had only called Smecker to touch base and let him know about my career choice. I was aiming for detective to get out of the black uniform, and I guess Smecker's letter put me on the fast track to it. Next month I would be bumped up and I would go up a floor in the department.

"Can't wait till next month." I grumbled as he drove, popping his gum. "I will be happy to be rid of this belt." I patted the heavy 'utility belt' as I called it. I felt like I should scream go go gadget when I wore it. Sommerfeld chuckled, stopping st a red light.

"Yeah yeah, rub it in my face kid." I snorted and adjusted my sun glasses.

"Oh fuck you, if you wanted to move into investigations you could have by now. You're a damn fine officer. You know this." It was all true, Sommerfeld had a reputation. He was a pit bull and he always got his guy. The man grinned and reached across the laptop between us and punched my arm.

"I dunno, I like beating pavement every day. Just like it to be more excitin' is all." Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"All available units, we have a 10 & 12 at the Lee Street Bar and Grill." We went into action, grins on our faces. No, we shouldn't be grinning right now. But...fuck it. You have to find a reason to smile. Sommerfeld flicked the sirens and lights on, whipping a U-ey and heading towards the hot spot in this town.

"10-4, Unit 182 in route. ETA is 2 minuets." I replied to Roane County Control. I keyed down and shot a look to Sommerfeld. "Damn you. I was thinkin' about some tea and a nice burger." My partner laughed and sped up.

"Ain't good for your girlish figure, Doyle." He teased me, adjusting his radio on his shoulder. I took a minuet to appraise him. Tristan was handsome in a odd way. Prominent masculine features but his nose was crooked from being broken too many times. He had a buzz cut, but the grays were poking out on the sides. It had it's only sexy appeal to it.

"Hey, I am a sexy bitch. I don't need to worry about my figure when I'm always runnin' these assholes down when your old dick can't keep up with 'em." I shot back. He shook his head and we rounded another corner. I checked to make sure my Smith and Wesson .40 was ready to go. Tristan barked out a laugh.

"Jesus, Doyle. You have a dirty mouth." He motioned ahead of us. "We're here." I hollered to control that we were on scene. My heart was starting to pound and the adrenaline was kicking in.

"Not the only dirty thing about me, old man." I added before drawing my gun and opening the door. I hunkered down and spotted the drunk man in his truck with the gun in his hand. Well, shit. Sommerfeld called in to the incoming units what we'd rolled up on. We had two other cars coming in from a wreck on the interstate, it would be a minuet.

"Later I will make some very obscene and inappropriate comments, taking comfort in the fact you won't file a sexual harassment case against me..." I nodded his way signaling I was following him closer to the truck. "But for right now, let's get this done with...SIR! DROP THE GUN AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP!"

Hours later we were back at the station and I was finishing up my reports for all the days excitement...which wasn't very much. A few speeding tickets, parking violation and that drunk guy. My eyes hurt from staring at the computer screen and filling out the forms for physical copies. I had nursed enough coffee to wear me out. I groaned and kicked my feet against the carpet of the office. I rolled backwards and crashed into the back of Sommerfeld's chair. He grunted and turned to me, slight annoyance in his eyes.

"So here in an hour we will be off duty for the WHOLE weekend. What are we goin' to do after work? Drinks? Soliciting hookers? Pretend we're the Super Troopers..." My exhausted voice but hopeful look in my eyes was always my partner's undoing. Tristan rubbed his eyes and looked at his wrist watch. He made a face and shrugged, studying me.

"We're gonna get tattoos." I rolled my eyes and laughed. I let it draw out for a minuet before I realized he was dead serious.

"Wait, you're not fuckin' with me are you? You're serious?" Sommerfeld smiled and held up his fist for me to pound with mine. I smiled back and we 'blew it up'.

"Fuckin' A, girl. Missed your birthday last weekend so I figured this will make a good last hoorah for us as partners and a late birthday gift." I nodded and was truely touched, letting the silent feels of camaraderie flow between us. I wasn't his first partner, but he was mine. There was a certain level of expectation of your first partner. They had to show you how things worked and prepare you for the worst and best days on the job. I'd had the best one. When our eyes lingered a little too longer on each other's, I cleared my throat and felt my cheeks blush.

"What we gonna get, tramp stamps or matching dolphins?" I teased, lightening the mood. Sommerfeld flipped me off and pointed to my desk.

"Git yer ass back to work." He paused and then decided to continue. "Get somethin' that means the world to you. All cop's need a tattoo." I gave him a thumbs up and wheeled back to my desk, wracking my brain about what I wanted to get.

I always liked tattoos...and for a short time they had liked me too. Carefully I cracked my neck and leaned back, allowing myself to dredge up some flashes of some memories that I was trying to make peace with. Expanses of skin inked with Celtic crosses, Latin words and Holy Mary's. Smooth and warm, always smelling like cigarettes and day old cologne. I looked to the skin on my arms, remembering the way it had been adorned with kisses and praised for being so unmarked. My fist's tightened. Fuck yes, I was getting a tattoo.

Sure enough, midnight rolled around and we were in Charleston getting inked up. I had decided on my family crest. I was proud of my last name, proud of my roots despite my slight aversion to some of the Irish things. I expected a snappy comment from Sommerfeld, but he just nodded and watched as they laid the needles to the skin on my right shoulder-blade. It took almost two hours to get it all done in one go, but it was okay. I only winced a few times, whereas Tristan almost came up off his chair a few times as they tattooed the Lord's Prayer to his rib cage. It looked good on him when they were done, like I said before...Tristan did not look 31. He was in top shape.

When the tattooist smeared some cream on his and wrapped him up, we hit up an all night diner in town for some breakfast. I had long since changed into my jeans and typical white muscle shirt. He was similar, but he preferred the long-sleeved dark cotton shirts. We talked about funny stories from the past year together, the past before joining the force and other random things. I just never had much to say about 'before'. And he'd noticed too. When the waitress brought out our plates, Somerfield pushed his sleeves up and grabbed a forkful.

"How come ya never talk much about your past, kid?" I shrugged, taking a huge mouthful of hash browns and runny eggs.

"I dunno. Not much to say, really. Was still'a youngin." I lied smoothly. His speculative brown eyes studied me as he always did when he brought up the subject.

"As always, I call bullshit." He put his napkin down for a moment and sat back in the booth, crossing his arms. I rolled my eyes and mimicked him.

"Why does it matter? Nothin' I can do about the past, Sommerfeld. Why ya wanna know so god damn bad for anyways?" I sounded defensive, but he wasn't backing down this time. Unfortunately.

"Cause, I've been workin with ya and you know all about me! All about me." He winked and I pretended to gag. "I dunno, I mean we know you at the department...but I just thought I'd know ya a lil' fuckin' better by now. You've got skeletons, I can tell by the way you look at things. You react weird too. You don't break out in a sweat like a normal newbie would." I watched my fork push the mess of ketchup and yolk around on my plate. "Do you not trust me, Amelia?" I snorted and met his eyes, pushing the fly aways from my pony tail out of my face.

"You had to fuckin' use my name." I groaned. I took a quick sip of coffee and wiped my mouth. He was staring me down. Damn it. "Alright alright, I'll tell you a little." The older man lit up like a Christmas tree. I sighed and cracked my knuckles.

"I'm from here, but I spent a while in Boston, two years ago. There had been a lot of shit goin' on. My dad was killed, the guy who did it had been a seriously bad sonuvabitch..." I paused, seeing if any of this was ringing any bells. "He was a mobster, ended up get executed in the courtroom.." As soon as the words left my mouth, Tristan's eyes went wide and he pointed at me as he then shook his head.

"No fuckin' way! I remember seein' that shit on the news! What was that guy's name? Uhh.."

"Yakavetta." He snapped his fingers and nodded.

"Yep. Shit! You were there? You seen him get shot?" I nodded, not really wanting to diverge too many details, already regretting opening my mouth. We were 'bonding' and I was a sucker for Tristan sometimes.

"Yeah, was somethin' else. Fucker had it comin." I stated flatly, rubbing my nose and feeling my shoulder's tense. Silence fell between us and he took a few more bites of his food. I suddenly didn't feel like eating anything else. Memories of Yakavetta's face filled my brain. That fear, the defeat, the blood. Even now it made me tingle in satisfaction. My eye twitched and thunder rolled through my ears for a moment. My hairs stood on end.

"Sorry about your dad, girl. But I think those 'Saint's' or whatever they were called had the right idea. Need more folks like that." His voice was serious. I met his eyes and he was sincere. "Glad you got to see him brought down, as fucked up as it sounds." Despite myself, I let out a laugh. I found the strength to smile.

"Me too, man. Me too."

****Beth Crowley - Warrior****


	3. My Medicine

**A/N: Okay y'all. This is a longer one. Next chapter things are going to start picking up. **  
**YAY! This chapter showcases some differences in our girl and how her world is changing still. **  
**Hope you enjoy! Remember, I love feed back!**

**WARNING!: Graphic Sexual content ahead. You have been warned. ;-) *spanks* (haha) **

_"You hurt where you sleep_  
_And you sleep where you lie_  
_Now you're in deep and_  
_now you're gonna cry_  
_You got a woman to the left_  
_and a boy to the right_  
_Start to sweat so hold me tight_

_Somebody mixed my medicine_  
_I don't know what I'm on_  
_Somebody mixed my medicine_  
_But baby it's all gone_  
_Somebody mixed my medicine_  
_Somebody's in my head again_  
_Somebody mixed my medicine again, again"_

Chapter 3: My Medicine

One Year Later

I was sitting on my front porch, drinking tea and watching Tyler walk Shamrock and Sassie around to the stalls from the pasture. Sassie was the mare he'd bought and I let him keep her here. She was a beautiful butterscotch gal with a contrasting pitch black dark mane and tail. Tyler was in love with her. I couldn't blame him, she was true to her name. Sassie indeed. I on the other hand wasn't so much sassy as I was just sore and grumpy. I was on medical leave from work, guess I got too big for my breeches and got myself stabbed. I had been sniffing around a suspected crack den in the shadier parts of town, didn't hear ol' boy sneak up on me. Guess out of the two of us I got the better deal. They buried him a few days ago. Now not only was my back sore and stiff, on top of the 20 some odd stitches left of my spinal column, I had no mommy here to make me chicken noodle soup and biscuits.

The thought made me pout. Mom had moved to New York at the beginning of the year to be with Elias. I guess it was pretty serious now. Kind of worked better for her anyways, she was closer to her publisher as well. We talked everyday though, and she'd offered to come home to look after me. Me being the awesome daughter I was told her not to worry, said it wasn't that bad...like hell. I also had 4 appointments with a psychologist to look forward to, it's protocol. If you discharge weapon you have to at lease have one session. You shoot someone, it's at least four. I gave another audible sigh and waved at Tyler as he shut the door on the barn and started towards his Jeep. He had a hot date tonight and didn't have time to keep little old me company.

I hoisted myself up carefully from the porch steps and made my way inside. I didn't mind being here alone, I actually enjoyed it. It was quiet and I could relax. Only bad thing is these stitches were cumbersome and I had to be so careful. With a shuffle I locked the doors behind me and shut the blinds. I set my glass in the dishwasher and made my way to my bedroom. After Mom moved out, I took over the master bedroom. I really didn't have a real need for it, but her room had it's own bathroom and garden tub. Now that was worth the whole day it took me to switch rooms. When I got into the bathroom, I flicked the lights on and lit some candles.

Carefully I began unbuttoning the old baggy long sleeved shirt I had on. It landed on the floor, next came my bra. I winced, feeling the cotton rub against the tape protecting my stitches. I huffed as I faced the huge mirror over the sink. My dark brown/red hair was messily piled on top of my head, it was getting too long. I'd need to get it cut soon. My face was clear and my skin was paler than it usually was by fall. I spent more time doing paper work than actually being out in the field anymore. One more annoyance to add to my never ending list. My eyes were the same as they had ever been. My body was different though, and I still felt surprised when I looked at myself most of the time. I still imagined the teenage me in my head for some reason. But the evidence in the mirror proved me very wrong.

The woman in the mirror wasn't as soft as she had been in adolescence. All baby fat was gone from a weekly weight lifting/cardio routine. Her face had no lingering roundness, but she still had the soft features. Her lips were pouty and full, her jaw smooth but sure. I cocked my head to the side, inspecting the rest of my torso. I had muscles but I wasn't too defined. Most of it was farm muscle. My waist had finally got itself under control, but I couldn't shake my hips and butt to save my life. It was a good thing though, most women with my work out routine had flat asses. Wiggle wiggle wiggle. I grinned at myself and finished stripping before running some hot water and lowering myself in.

After I was a giant walking prune, I eased myself out and drained the tub. My robe felt like silk against my skin and I padded into the kitchen to get me some cold water. I seen it was still kind of early and I was usually still at work. I sighed and grabbed the cordless phone from the wall. I was due to make my check in calls. I first called Mom, then called Doc. Before I'd hung up with him, he'd told me to give Shannon a call. Said he'd been having some issues with his son, Michael. This confused me because Michael was a good kid to the best of my knowledge, so like any good cop/extended adopted family member...I called Shannon. He answered within a few rings and was tickled it was me.

"Amelia! How are ye lass?" His brogue brought a grin to my face and I gently arranged myself on the couch in the living room.

"Im good. Just workin' all the time. How about you guys?" I was curious whether he'd spill the beans or not.

"Ye know, te usual. Work, bills, problem child." Ahh, there it was.

"Whatcha mean, problem child? Is Michael okay?" I really was concerned, I couldn't get the image of the round-faced-blue-eyed boy out of my mind.

"Not really. He's jus' turned 18 an' t'inks he knows everyt'ing. Gotten himself wrapped up in te local gang scene. Got me scared outta me wit." My heart sank. I made a groan and rubbed my forehead.

"How long? Is he into drugs or anything heavy? Or..are we just talking a few minor fights and a loud mouth?" Please be just a loud mouth. Please.

"A bit'a all te above. Been goin' on fer abo't a year now." I cussed and shot an angry glare at my mantle. Damnit all to hell! I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. My mind was trying to think of something to suggest. Sure there was youth programs, rehab, those scared straight programs...but I didn't see Michael responding well to those. He needed an environmental change. Another conversation from years back came to me and I felt in my heart it was the right thing to do.

"Send em to me." I simply stated. Shannon was quiet for a moment, then he grunted.

"Yer serious aren't ye?"

"As a fuckin' heart attack. I'll put him to work here on the farm. I'm gettin busier with cases...but I happen to be on medical leave right now. Don't ask, but I have the time to put into gettin' him straightened out. It will get him away from all the bad influences long enough to clear his head and pick a better path." I paused. "Or I can throw him in cuffs and let him see what's on the other side of the bars." Shannon was quiet, I could tell he was thinking hard. After a 20 second silence, he spoke.

"He's gonna be pissed at me. He'll live though, t'ats all t'at matters." I let go of the breath I'd been holding and licked my lips.

"If you fly him here, I'll take care of the rest. Call me tomorrow with the details and I'll get him from the airport. He's going to need to fly into Yeager."

Shannon and I talked for another 30 minuets or so, ironing out plans and how he should go about telling him. Yeah he was 18 years old, but the boy sounded like an idiot from what Shannon said. Making bad decisions and putting himself in danger. Here, there was no place to get into that bullshit unless you know where to go. Michael did not. Did I actually need the responsibility? No, not really. But I owed Shannon for everything he's done for me over the years. Him and Michael were like extended cousins, kinda.

A little while later after I checked all the doors and windows in the house, I set my S&W on the coffee table and settled onto the couch for the night. I lowered myself on to my stomach and buried the side of my face into my fluffy pillow. After I got out of my shrink appointment tomorrow I'd go to Ace and get some paint for my old room. I needed to get some bedding stuff too, new curtains...shit. I'm just going to go to K-Mart in Elkview. Get all of it done in one go. I'll have Tyler help me get the room painted in the evening so hopefully it'll be dry before Michael gets here. As I thought about these things, I felt my eye lids getting heavier.

* * *

I was trying to decide between an earthy green color or a warm brown. Both were masculine and tied in well to the farm house. I also knew I had been standing there way too long trying to decide. I'd looked through the pamphlets they had with the paint swatches about room ideas. I growled and grabbed both swatches. I'd do the whole accent wall thing. Paint all walls brown and pop in one with the green. I could also easily buy him bedding and things to match. I put in my paint order with the older man in charge of mixing paint. He said it would be a few minuets so I revved the old shopping cart up and made my way over to the bed stuff. The bed in my old room was a full size, so I quickly scanned the full sized bed-in-bags and found a solid chocolate brown one. Perfect! I threw it in the buggy and went after a change of sheets and anything else I could quickly throw in the cart.

All and all, I think I did well...until it came time to loading it up in my Blazer. Because of my back, it took some hard thinking to maneuver it up into the back and between seats. But once the job was done, I hopped in and went back home. I'd spoke to Shannon this morning, he told me Michael would be here tomorrow night. Which was awesome because it gave me enough time to make sure his room was ready.

When I got back to the farm, Tyler was waiting for me on the porch. He looked slightly tired but helped me get everything inside and situated. I caught him up to speed on who Michael was and how I would need his help showing him the ropes of the farm. Tyler looked a little excited. Aside from his willingness to always help and be awesome, Tyler was super friendly. He was one of those people who could get on anyone's level and make you feel comfortable enough to spill your guts. Charming bastard. As we painted the bedroom, he told me about his date and how well they had clicked. His face was lit up the whole time when he spoke of this girl named Christina. She was my age apparently. I gave him hell about that, seeing he was now 25. It was innocent jesting, I really was happy for him.

* * *

Yeager Airport isn't very big. It's small and a pain in the ass to get to. Charleston is the state capitol and it's about 25-30 minuets away from my farm. It's practically two different worlds. But, even in the heart of the city you could still see the beautiful mountains that seemed to box you in. It was nice. There isn't anywhere in West Virginia where you don't look out on the horizon and see mountains. I read somewhere that if you could flatten out all the mountains, our state would be bigger than Texas. Interesting, huh? But back to the airport here Amelia! I licked my lips and walked in, careful to leave my gun in my Blazer. I took a left and sat in the waiting area. I was technically late but I didn't see any signs of the Irish boy.

A half hour later I see on the screen above me his flight had landed. I took a deep breath and adjusted my flannel over my old faded jeans. I had left my hair down, using my Aviators to keep it out of my face from on top of my head. Hopefully Michael would still recognize me. Hopefully he wouldn't hate me for suggesting he come here. Nerves started to kick in as I opted to stand. I watched the few people start to make their way down the small corridor but none of them looked familiar to me. I began chewing my lip. I really hope he wouldn't give me reason to regret this. It was going to be hard enough having an Irishman in the house, especially one who'd seen me go through so much. Uhg.

Moments later I heard it.

"Amelia?" The voice was deep and I felt my stomach knot. I turned and looked to my side, eyes having to adjust up to see his face. Bright blue eye's met mine. I was momentarily taken back. I had been looking for the short shit kid from years ago, but I had failed to consider the fact he'd grown! I'm sure my face shown my surprise because the guy before me chuckled and pulled me into a hug. What the? I hugged him back, letting out a laugh. When he let me go, I could properly appraise him.

"Jesus Michael!" I said, stepping back to look at him. He was at least 6'3! The round face had gone and what was left was a strong jaw and a five o'clock shadow. His dark brown hair was short but longer on top, tossed about in a careless manner. He had on nice fitting jeans and a tucked in button up long sleeve shirt. His glasses were hanging from the collar and the pack on his back looked minuet compared to his broad shoulders. He seemed to flush as he brought his arm to scratch the back of his head. My eyes bugged, his arms! Holy Mother Mary. I blinked and shook my head. "You've grown up!"

"Well, t'at tends ta happen wit age, lass." The deep voice and brogue had my head reeling for a moment before I mentally slapped myself into order.

"Indeed. Uh..you ready to go then?" I asked. Michael nodded and put his glasses on. I wanted to make a cute sound. The glasses looked to adorable on his super manly features. Gah, what had they been giving this kid? Puppy Chow? Four leaf clovers? Magical potatoes? Whatever it was, I was super jealous.

"Aye, jus' gotta git me suitcases. Didn' bring much though..was kin'a las' minuet." His voice held a little edge to it and I gave him a side smile.

"You're not mad are ya?" I asked. I really hope if he was mad, he'd get over it soon. But instead, Michael grunted and shrugged.

"Was at first, but Da is pr'tty worried. Figured it coulda been worse..." He looked down at me and smiled. I felt the wave of relief and smiled back.

"Good. I think you're goin' to like it here. Got your room painted yesterday. Hopefully it will do for now." Then the thought hit me, my old bed might not be big enough for the behemoth I was bringing home. Shit!

* * *

"Alright now, don't hurt yourself!" I was flinching watching my new roommate and responsibility trying to climb into the hay loft to get to a raccoon that was scaring all my chickens. The burly younger man grunted as he cornered the critter. I could have easily shot it, but I think raccoons are cute. Besides, I discovered Michael was always up for a challenge when he could find one. He was in a pair of his older pants and work boots, but like me he enjoyed the muscle shirts. But also unlike me, he looked a lot better in them. Lucky ass.

"Fuckin t'ing is jus' lookin' me like it's gon'ta tear me apart." He said to me from above. I snickered and took a few steps back.

"They can get mean, be careful!" I shouted up to him. He snorted. Okay, I tried to warn you. With a sudden scurry and a poof of loose hay flying everywhere, I heard the Raccoon hiss and Michael laugh triumphantly. He had the little guy securely in his leather gloved hands, broad toothy smile on his face. I gave him a thumbs up. "Good job! Now get it out of here!" I smiled and waved, walking back to the house. Tyler had cut out early today, but not before giving me my birthday gift. It was my 21st...and I would be spending it here with the bottle of Arbor Mist Tyler brought to me. God bless him.

Michael has been here almost a month now and he was doing exceptionally well. Sure he got a little pissy on occasion but I hadn't imagined him being at all gang affiliated until I'd seen him shirtless. Sure enough, scars littered his torso and tattoos took up most of his back. My heart had broken. He was such a good kid, smart and honest. I was happy to have him here. But tonight, I would retire my to room after dinner and watch terrible action movies and wish my back would stop itching. The wound had healed up, but the fresh scar was always itching. Since Michael has moved in, I have forced myself to sleep in my bedroom. Needless to say I was still adjusting. Woke up a lot at night, tossed and turned. All the extra room drove me bat shit crazy.

With my shrink appointments over with and a good report from the doctor, I would be returning to work Monday. I still had four days to go stir crazy though. As usual, I showered and changed into a pair of cotton sleep shorts and a huge sleeping shirt. Michael had gotten himself some kind of gaming system so at night, that's what he spent his time doing. Id hear him shouting all kinds of evil things at it late at night. Was kind of funny though. I quickly found one of mom's old wine glasses and drug it out along with the now chilled wine. I twisted the top off and poured me a heaping glass. (Yes...it's fancy stuff.)

Right as I was about to head back to my room with the bottle and full glass, I seen head lights pouring in through the windows. I had no clue who that could be. I quietly padded over to the door, opening the door to see who my company was. When I seen the familiar Silverado, I felt my stomach tighten. The man hopped out and I wasn't surprised to see the 12 pack under one arm and the bouquet of flowers. He strode up and seen me, grinning and raising an eyebrow.

"Happy birthday, kid." Tristan Sommerfeld was incorrigible. I smiled and opened the screen door. He came in and I gave him an awkward one armed hug.

"Hey fucker, see you still haven't forgotten my birthday." I stated as I shut the doors and locked the wooden one. Tristan shrugged and winked. He looked handsome. Tight white tee shirt and cargo pants, which made his ass look fantastic. I blinked rapidly for a moment and shook the thought off.

"Maybe I just thought you needed a beer." He teased me. I rolled my eyes, pointing to the flowers.

"Maybe I like flowers." I snorted and gladly accepted them as he began unlacing his boots. Tristan hadn't been my partner for a while now, but we still hung out on occasion to catch up. But he hardly ever came here. Ever. Maybe once before. Again, my stomach tightened again.

"You're full of shit. But, thank you anyways." He smiled at me and was about to say something when a muffled 'FUCK YOU' sounded out of Michael's room. It had startled Tristan, his head had whipped towards the direction of his room and I laughed.

"That's Michael. It's a long story, but he's like a big little brother of sorts. C'mon, was just about to watch Lethal Weapon." I set the wine and glass down while I quickly plopped the lilies into some water and picked my wine back up. Tristan stuck the beer in the refrigerator and followed behind me as I went to my room. Without much thought I crawled onto my bed and pressed play. Tristan was close behind me and made a more dramatic crash onto the bed. I grinned as he fluffed a pillow beside mine and sat half up against the head board. He cracked open the beer and took a long gulp.

"Did ya work today?" I asked, taking a pretty indecent drink of mine. He nodded and I caught his eyes scanning my legs openly. I felt my cheeks heat up and I had to fight the urge to pull them up and cover em with my large shirt.

"Mhm. Captain has been driving me fuckin' crazy. Had a meth bust this mornin', crazy couple had three kids in that house. All are sicker'n dogs." Tristan licked his lips and took another gulp of his beer. Where he was a dad, situations with kids always bothered him more. I gave him the ol' shoulder bump and he snapped out of it. "What about you Doyle, you look good for a month of sittin' on your ass." I laughed and finished off my wine, setting the glass down and opting to drink from the bottle directly.

"I'm okay." I just replied. "Did you ever see my back? Holy shit, prick got me good,. Lookit this!" I said turning myself and tugging the back of my shirt up. "Lookit that shit! Fuckin' battle wound it is!" I heard him give one of those 'shew' sounds. I was about to drop the shirt until I felt him touch the sensitive skin there. My throat closed and I fought the urge to shirk away. I closed my eyes, holding my shirt still. My other hand brought the bottle to my mouth again and I took a looooong healthy swing. He didn't pull his hand away, still tracing the tender flesh.

"Damn, I mean I heard he got ya good..." Tristan's voice sounded deeper, hitting an octave that made my skin break out in goose bumps. I opened my eyes and finally started lowering my shirt. Still, he didn't move his hand. It was like it was glued to my back. I wanted to move, my heart pounding in my chest. It had been so long since someone had gotten the chance to touch me. I never let men get close to me, not physically. Tristan inhaled sharply, before I heard him set his beer down. I started to turn back to the way I was, but he didn't let me. Tristan moved quickly. Before I could suck in a breath I was on my back and he was above me, looking at me with that speculative brown eyes. My heart was pounding.

"What are you doin' Sommerfeld." I asked, my voice also sounding a little more deeper than usual. He hovered above me, keeping a few inches of space between us. He licked his lips. I could smell the beer on his breath as it washed over my face.

"I dunno, but I really wanna be inside you right now." My eyes nearly popped out of my head. I was still a virgin. He most definitely was not, not by a fucking long shot. He was the furthest thing from innocent and the way he just put it out there as if it was the most casual thing in the world made me tingle.

"That all?" His head tilted above mine, thinking. Tristan was smart, he was charming, and I'd be a fucking liar to say I hadn't thought about what it would be like.

"For now." A little grin spread across his face and I felt myself flush. I could do this, my body wanted to. I wanted to. I needed a connection somewhere. But I didn't want a relationship. Not yet anyways. I was sure he didn't either.

"No strings?" My question made him chuckle and he happily nodded.

"That's usually my line, Doyle." I grinned back and shrugged, daring to reach up and touch his shoulders, slowly running my hands up the side of his neck to the nape of his neck.

"Just one thing, I dunno if you know...but I am a virgin." This time, Tristan froze and eyed me seriously. I could see him about to accuse me of being a liar, but I rolled my eyes and sighed. "I'm serious Tristan." Between us, the first name was reserved only for serious situations. I chewed my bottom lip as he thought for a moment. Finally he nodded and clenched his jaw, leaning down to tilt his lips above mine. I lifted up and met him half way, moving my lips over his. He grunted and lowered his body down onto mine. I sighed, opening my mouth letting him invade and conquer. It was nice to be in this position again. I had missed the rush of endorphins. Without trying to break the heavy-lidded spell he put me in, I slid my legs apart and let him settle between. I felt electric shocks jolt through my core as he ground into me.

Then I felt it, something so hard it almost hurt. I grunted and pushed him up, looking down to see he still had his gun on him. I chuckled and quickly undid his belt, pulling it out of his pants and catching the gun nestled in his holster.

"Oops." He stated simply, taking it from me and setting it on the bedside table. I grinned into his lips and pulled him in closer as we kissed. His hands were rough as he adjusted to grind into me again. I gasped, Tristan swallowed it. In my mind I imagined it going down deep in his stomach and fueling his fire. In the back of my mind, that long forgotten itch started up and I purposely shoved it down. No, I'm not holding out anymore. They forgot about me, I needed to just let it all go. Forever. My heart broke though, feeling the last connection to my life before fade away and disappear.

My lips became more fevered, and the man above me groaned. I felt a chill of excitement. Quickly he pushed off me and balanced on his knees to strip off his shirt. I seen he'd added to his collection of body art. He had a half sleeve of Japanese waves and cherry blossoms swirling around koi fish and lily pads. against his moderately tan skin, it looked beautiful. The Lord's prayer he'd gotten with me was only an exaggeration of his muscles. I licked my lips.

"You're beautiful." I whispered, reaching up to touch his abs. They flexed and he didn't say anything. Just looked at me with those dark smoldering eyes.

"You're just now noticing this?" He said in a snarky reply. I rolled my eyes and let him help rid me of my shirt. I had no bra on so his eyes got plenty in return. "Jesus." He said, casually taking his hands and touching my breasts. I felt the heat explode through my core. When he rolled my nipples between his thumbs and index fingers I moaned, bucking up my hips. Tristan smiled and stopped, running his hands down my stomach and hooking them into my shorts.

"Impatient?" I asked through the haze of lust and the warming effect of alcohol.

"I'm not the only one..." He answered me, and to prove a point I felt his finger enter me. I moaned and rolled my hips, feeling the rough digit work me. "Fuck, you really are a virgin." I nodded and gritted my teeth as he expertly probed me and added a second finger. I opened my eyes to watch him ise his free hand to undo his pants and push them down over his hips. To my surprise, Tristan wasn't too big. He was probably average, but I wasn't going to complain. I licked my lips again, almost whimpering when he got off the bed to completely strip. In the darkness and flashing lights of the movie, he yanked my shorts the rest of the way off and dig around for his wallet. I felt appreciative when he pulled out a condom and tossed it to me.

"Hold onto that for a second." I nodded and watched as he climbed back up to me. His eyes were almost black. I trembled. Again, he inserted a finger inside me and began working me over, harder this time. I bent a knee up, trying to get more friction as he added back the second. I snaked my hand between us and gripped him. I felt his hips buck into my hand. I chuckled evilly. Before I could enjoy more of the moment, his mouth crashed onto mine as he took the condom from me and pulled away. I watched him use his pretty white teeth to tear the package open with one hand while his two fingers twisted up inside me. I clamped down around them with the raw sight of him being so sexy. He paused for a minuet, having not missed my muscles speaking to him. He took a deep breath and took the rubber out.

With expert swiftness he rolled it onto his length and gave his full attention back to me. I was still, wondering what was going through his brain. Tristan pulled me by my legs down further. His eyes were above mine and he ducked in for a kiss, much softer than the one we'd shared moments ago.

"It's gonna hurt." He whispered. I shrugged and wrapped my arm around his shoulders.

"I've been through worse pain. Trust me." Our eyes connected and he nodded, beginning to lather my neck with bites and licks. He lifted my legs up and wrapped them around his waist. I felt him tense up. He was ready. I took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay."I said, trying not to tense. With one quick movement, he was seated deep inside me and I grunted. My eyes squeezed shut and I bit my lip so hard I could taste blood. Tristan was breathing ragged and stock still. I finally exhaled and eased my nails out of his shoulder blades. We waited a moment and slowly he began to move inside me. It burned, it stung...but with every thrust it was getting better. I never cried though, just internalized it one whimper at a time.

After we had gotten into a rhythm, I began meeting him stroke for stroke. I could feel the familiar rush pulsing through me. Tristan was in his own world, concentrating and I was too. It was quiet between us except for grunts and moans. When I felt my orgasm on the brink of release I said his name. Tristan shivered above me and started pounding me into the bed. It was almost too much, but It got me off all the same. I bit my lip to stifle the yell. When the lights exploded behind my eyeballs I heard it. For the first time in a long time.

Thunder.

****The Pretty Reckless- My Medicine****


	4. Girls Like Me

**A/N: Strap in folks, this ride is taking OFF! Please don't forget to review and follow! ;)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS.**

_"You don't need a girl like me _  
_I've got bruises you can't see _  
_And when the lights go out _  
_I won't be around _  
_You don't need a girl like me _

_You can't have a heart like mine _  
_But you can hold it for a while _  
_and when the lights go out _  
_I won't be around _  
_You can't have a heart like mine _

_There's a rule that goes unwritten _  
_And I break it from time to time _  
_If you're fool enough to listen _  
_Then I'm fool enough to lie _

_That's the kind of girl I am _  
_I take off before I land _  
_And even though you think you can _  
_You can't change the way I am"_

Chapter 4- Girls Like Me

2 Years and Some Odd Days Later:

"So, how do you want your eggs this mornin'?" I asked patiently as Michael was whipping around me in the kitchen as I was trying to hurry up and get breakfast done. He had a full day ahead of him, as did I.

"Don' matter, Melia." He replied, sitting at the table to catch his breath. I gave an exasperated sigh and decided scrambled it was. The toast popped out and I plated it while trying to mix the eggs in the skillet and make sure our bacon didn't burn.

"So, gotta take the four wheel'r down to tt fence. Noticed yester'ay a few o' te wires were broke. Worried bout te cattle gettin' out." He said. I nodded, scraping the eggs out of the skillet and plating them. "Also gotta make sure te acres yer usin te lease out are properly bout t'at las' night."

"Awesome. So you gotta busy day huh? Is Tyler coming out to help or that new guy...what's his name again?" The past two years have been a dramatic change in all of us. I was taking on more serious cases and keeping longer hours, Michael was practically running the farm. But, he was good at it. And I was making enough, excluding my savings, to pay him more than necessary. Michael never complained about his pay, but I wanted to make sure he knew it was appreciated.

"Lad's name is Jared. He's still learning but aye, he'll be here in a bit." I finished our plates and turned the stove off, rushing to the table to get breakfast in. We both chugged our coffee and almost inhaled our food. "Wha' bout ye?" I snorted and swallowed, not looking forward to today.

"Gotta be in court the first few hours, testify to the living conditions we found this kid in. Then, I've got to meet up with a witness to a murder and THEN meet up with the murderer in question. Gonna be a long day. Don't wait up for me." I joked, but I was serious. Michael had a habit of waiting up for me. It was nice of him, but I knew it screwed him out of well needed sleep. His days started earlier than mine most of the time. He had taken on the protective 'bigger' brother role for me. I took a second to glance at him. He'd been growing a short well trimmed beard and his hair was a little shaggier now, but it only made his bright blue eyes pop. Michael was also very popular with the local young ladies.

"Aye, if ye say so. But call if ye need me." We stood, gathering up our cups and plates. He began sticking them in the dish washer for me and I sighed, hugging him from behind.

"You're the best." He turned in my arms and gave me a tight familial hug.

"Aye, I know." I snorted and kissed his cheek before grabbing my wallet, .40 and keys from the counter. I also grabbed my suit in its hanger bag to take along so I can change at the station before I had to drive into Charleston for the court hearing. I ran out of the house and jumped into the green Blazer.

* * *

When I was back to my office for the rest of the day, I took a moment to breathe. I rubbed my face and shook my mouse, getting my screen to fire up. I sighed heavily knowing I still had probably two hours worth of reports and interviews to type up and print out. My job meant a lot to me, but it had its days where I just wanted to scream. Like today for example, I had to interview a witness who seen his dad kill his mother. Man was only 20 years old and had been home from college, he hadn't known his dad had picked the sauce back up. Guy's poor mom reaped his wrath. I sighed, getting out my tape recorder and setting it up beside me. I brought up my writing program and cracked my knuckles. I hit the play button.

As the man's voice spoke, I furiously typed away trying to keep up with his recounting details and what had been said. I'd pause periodically to catch up and make side notes of his reactions and body language. Yes, the interview had been taped as well...but I didn't take chances. That was not how I worked. So far in my three years as a detective, I have won most of my cases. And I was very proud of that.

About 7 pm my back had started hurting and I was almost done for the day. Yay, home stretch! I was going to hit play again on the father's interview when I heard a knock on my door. I stilled my hand and pushed away from my desk.

"Yeah?" I hollered. It swung open and Tristan popped his head in. I grinned and motioned him in. Since my 21st birthday we were still good friends, just with other benefits. He'd had a few ladies in his life since then, and I'd always back off respectfully, but when he wasn't committed we made it a habit to have a steamy night here and there. Like right now, he was a single man. I was assuming he was going to ask me out for a drink and a rondeau vu tonight, but then I seen his face. He looked a little...wired up? "What's wrong?" I asked.

He took even strides to my small 19 inch TV and used the remote to turn it on.

"Have you seen the news?" I shook my head, wondering why the news was so important suddenly. His body language was sending me weird signals though. His shoulders were taught and his face was way too serious.

"No, what happened?" I leaned back in my chair and stretched, trying to prepare myself for whatever he was going to show me. Tristan was flipping channels at a break neck speed until he got to CNN. He licked his lips and crossed his arms, pointing.

"Give it a minuet, they'll loop it again here in a second." I sighed and slumped in my roller chair, patiently waiting and a little disappointed this is what he came to me for. Could have really used a drink after the day I have had...and some of him. "Ah! There it is!" His voice was suddenly excited and he pointed. I watched and listened as he turned it up.

_"Today in Boston, a priest was found shot dead in his church. Many of the citizens are in an uproar, as is the local Police Department. Not only is it a terrible crime in itself, but it was the way the crime was carried out."_ The reporter paused and the video cut to the front of an all too familiar church. My stomach bottomed out. _"Almost 5 years ago to the day, South Boston was shaken by a spree of vigilante justice from a trio whom the locals called 'The Saints'. Their signature was pennies over the eyes and execution style head shots. But they had only went after mobsters and 'bad guys'. They cemented this reputation by taking out one of the biggest mafioso's in South Boston at the time, Papa Joe Yakavetta, quite publicly at his own trial._" I was frozen still. That had been our church. A sick feeling began twisting it's way into my soul. "_The priest, who's name has been released by the church, was Father Peter Sibeal. According to the other priests and the congregation he was a good man."_ Instantly I felt cold. No, no, no! I felt my hands shaking. _"Speculation has the citizens of Boston split in two. Was it The Saints? Was it a copy cat? The police aren't giving any statements yet, but we will stay close and keep you updated._"

"Can you believe that shit?" Tristan asked, I couldn't speak. My tongue was lead and I felt as if I was dreaming. "What do you think, ya think it was those guys? I figured you'd wanna know about this." I couldn't swallow the lump in my throat. My legs were even shaking. I couldn't even think straight. No way they would kill Father Sibeal, he was an amazing man. He'd done so well by my father at his service. My head felt light and I thought maybe I might pass out. No, they wouldn't have done this...especially in the fucking church! I managed to breathe. "Amelia?" Tristan asked me, sounding worried. He walked over to me and crouched, grabbing my hands. "Jesus, you're shaking. You okay?" I met his eyes with mine and I chewed my lip.

"Father Sibeal done my Dad's services. Good man." I mumbled, trying to focus on Tristan's hands around mine. His face and eyes softened, gently pulling me on my feet for a hug. I hugged him back, taking some small comfort in his concern. But what I needed to know now was if it really had been them. I didn't think it was, but I had been wrong about them before. I'd thought I'd known them,, but they proved me a fool. SHIT! I groaned and pulled away from Tristan. "Can you do me a favor?" I asked him suddenly, finding my voice as I saved my progress on the computer and shut it down.

"Sure, what do you need?" He stood by, waiting for me to answer. I looked up at him in his black uniform, absolutely handsome.

"If I can talk the Captain into giving me my vacation days as an emergency can you oversee the Edward's case? I know it's not your normal but I know you can handle it." My voice was almost desperate. I never sounded desperate, ever. He picked up on this as his eyes narrowed on me.

"Sure, of course. But...are you going to Boston?" Tristan grabbed my arm and stopped me before I could turn the office lights off. I licked my lips and tried to steady my heart rate. Was I really about to jump the gun and go back? Was I ready? Apparently God thought I was because I couldn't not go, I knew that. I felt the itch spreading through the back of my brain. My eye twitched.

"Most likely, I'm going to take Michael with me so he can see his Dad. Jesus..." I exhaled and shut the lights off, quickly shutting and locking my office door. "Gotta get the go ahead from the Cap first though.." I started in the direction towards the Captain's office. Tristan followed me the whole way there. Before I knocked he grabbed my hand, cradling it, trying not to get seen.

"I'm worried about you, I've never seen ya like this...even when you're gettin' shot at." He paused, letting my hand go and seeking my eyes out. "You're not tellin' me somethin'." I blinked and took a deep breath, fighting off the guilt I suddenly felt. What was I going to say? Before I became a police officer I was dating twins who got called from God to kill bad guys? Then I got kidnapped, was nearly killed and called myself? Oh, and I killed a man. At 18 nonetheless! I ruefully chuckled in my head, sure that would go over just peachy. Instead, I opted for the softer approach.

"It's a long story, one I can't tell ya about. Just, trust me...please? I need to go...I'll even pay you some on the side if you want." The look on his face seemed almost as if I had slapped him. He prickled up and growled at me.

"Is that what you fuckin' think? After ALL this time? Really Amelia?" He took a deep breath and motioned to the door we were standing beside. "If he gives you the go ahead, I'll be happy to float your stuff for a week or two. But when you get back..." Tristan trailed off, looking around to make sure our conversation was still on deaf ears. "You let me take you out, officially." I couldn't pull away from his chocolate brown eyes as they watched my face. I didn't have time for this. So I did the first thing I could.

"Okay, fine. I'll be right back." I conceded before knocking and walking in when I heard the Captain grunted for me to come in. Tristan stayed outside and waited.

* * *

By the luck of the fucking Irish, Captain Williams let me have the two weeks vacation. I hadn't had to beg or anything. He just gave it to, said I was always working hard and never took sick days. Whatever I needed, I had it. God bless him and small town America. On the way home I felt as if the world I had taken such a careful time building was starting to crack. I was terrified. The quick beat of my heart was ringing in my ears. I'm sure Doc was already expecting something, Shannon too. That sixth sense was flooding through me, thunder had been raging in my head. Something serious was going to happen. That tell-tell sign never led me wrong. Damnit.

When I tore up the drive way, Michael was on the porch waiting for me. His face looked serious and the beer in his hand proved me right. He knew already. I shut the Blazer off and grabbed my stuff before I climbed out and was greeted by silence. I made it all the way into the kitchen before he spoke.

"When we leavin'?" God Bless him. Seriously, the guy always seemed to know my next move right as I did. Sometimes before. I took a deep breath and took the beer from him, taking a huge gulp. I didn't reply, going to the drawer in the kitchen where I kept an emergency pack of cigarettes for the really bad days after work. I lit one with the BIC I kept tucked in the pack. I set it all down on the counter, drawling until I had the urge to cough. I didn't though. The smoke rolled out of my mouth and nose. Michael leaned against the counter and watched me carefully. His tall broad shoulders were tense, kind of reminded me of Tristan earlier.

"I dunno if I even should, honestly." My honesty made my voice almost sound raw. I shivered thinking of the Boston streets and the church. I wanted to stay here, I really did. But every time I would try to start talking myself out of going the thunder would echo through my head. Just to prove a point, it pounded in my head and I winced. Flashes of what Father Sibeal must have looked like in his final moments flashed behind my eye lids. He'd been scared for sure, praying and trying to find peace in God. I shivered again.

"Whatev'r ye decide, I'll back ye." Michael said, reaching out to grasp my shoulder. I was trying to clear my head and was failing miserably. I wanted to scream and break something. Why now? Why after all these years? All my hard work? A memory hit me hard and fast, feeling like it almost winded me. I remembered a warm bath and candles, a conversation with the dark blonde brother after I had been kidnapped and called. He'd been stressed about me being in so deep. _God doesn't much care about what we want. It's the bigger picture that matters._ I took another draw off the cigarette.

"Tomorrow we're flyin' out. Get ahold of Tyler and Jared, tellem we need one of them to stay here. I'll pay 'em double." My voice was even and I was trying to think ahead of myself. Michael nodded and went for the cordless phone. I watched him numbly, running around the house and digging out suitcases. I would need to go see the guys at the station in South Boston. Hopefully Greenly and his guys were still there. I'd call Smecker but his phone number didn't work anymore. Maybe he'd already be there or on his way. We'd need to tai chi this situation. My hands shook again. What if...I bit my lip. Whoever had shot Father Sibeal was putting out a direct message to the brothers. If my memory served me correctly, if my heart wasn't lying to me, the brother's would answer. Ten fold. For their sake they would stay gone. Years ago had been luck and luck only gets you so far. Plus, if I found them in town...may God himself have mercy on them.

* * *

I hadn't slept any, no real surprise there. I'd been up all night pacing the floors and trying to think about what I was going to do when I first got to Boston. I needed to call Doc, well I knew I should call Doc. But I had a feeling he'd encourage me to stay here. I'd almost bet money he was also banking on a return from the Irish bastards. I ground my teeth as I shoved the rest of my clothes into my last suitcase. I can't think about them right now. I needed to focus on the fact an innocent man was shot in the place where my Dad had worshiped. I had worshiped. I heard the door open and shut as Michael carried his luggage to the Blazer. At the ass crack of dawn this morning I had called and bought two one way tickets to Boston over the phone. We had two hours until take off and Tyler was on his way. Tristan had tried calling me, but I had let it go to voice mail. Couldn't deal with anything like that right now.

I hated I couldn't take my gun with me, but I knew I had three to choose from at Doc's. My stuff was still there. I'd just pop in and pay him a visit. He'd love that. I ignored the feeling of I should call him. No. I shoved my wallet into my jeans pocket, making sure my badge was in there. I doubt it would get me too far, but it might help me some. When I was all set to go, Tyler was pulling in. I greeted him, hugged him and got into the vehicle. Michael gave him the run down and left a paper with lists on it of things that would need done. I didn't have a worry about any of it, Tyler knew this farm like the back of his hand.

When Michael gave him a quick pat on the back, he jogged over to the passenger side and climbed in. I wasted no time pulling out and racing to the interstate. When I hit the interstate I sped up, ignoring speed limits. Most the cops here knew my vehicle and I just didn't give a shit. When I seen the golden top of the Capitol building, I felt my nerves kick in. We were silent. It felt weird with so much silence between Michael and I, we were always so talkative. After a few more exits I seen the Greenbrier St Exit and hung a right. Before I knew it I was pulling into the airport. I parked in the garage and we quickly wheeled our luggage to the entrance door. Michael grabbed the door and I set to work getting us checked in. We showed ID's and went through the whole process. I was so worked up I didn't even flinch when I slid my card. Last minuet arrangements were pricey.

We still had an hour so we went through security and straight into the coffee shop set up. I loaded up with a double-shot-fuck-your-world-up-special and he got his typical black coffee. I felt him watching me, waiting for me to say anything. So, I conceded for his sake. He looked almost afraid in his countrified red flannel and old work jeans.

"I don't know what's waiting on me. I mean you just need to go home and spend time with your dad...but me.." I trailed off and he nodded once, following my train of thought.

"Aye, but yer not'alone lass. We're fam'ly." I blinked and reached for his hand. He took it gladly. I gave him a grateful small smile.

"Yes we are, but you're not goin' to get wrapped up in this shit." The words felt familiar and foreign coming from me. Deja vu hit me. There was a point in my life where the same thing had been said to me. I didn't expect Michael to listen to me, or take it seriously...but he did.

"I know ye can take car'a yerself, but ye know where te find me...jus' in case." Aww, sweet Michael. He looked as if he'd crush you with a flex of his finger but he was just a huge softie.

"Thank you hun." I replied and finished off my caffeine concoction. He hurried and gulped his down, then we made our way to the gate. We only got to sit for a few minuets before they boarded us. I bought us a straight shot flight. We'd be in Boston by 11 am. The early fall wind whipped my hair around my face as we climbed the steps into the plane. I shook the chill off. Once seated, I looked out the window and was happy to have my companion next to me. Though, he didn't leave me much room.

The engines roared, the plane taxied itself straight and just like last time I'd flown...the safety break down was still quite boring. After it was all said and done, we shot off the mountain and was air born. I inhaled deeply and fought the urge to snuggle into Michael's shoulder. I know he wouldn't have minded, but I needed to keep my shit together. That itchy feeling told me something was about to happen. My stomach flipped. Old feelings and memories were slowly becoming harder and harder to keep at bay. No way was I going to resort to the me that Boston knew. No way would that city chew me up and spit me out again. I would bite back and probably rip it a new asshole, too.

**Miranda Lambert- Girls Like Me**


	5. Comeback Story

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoy the way I tie her into this. **  
**My goal is to not deviate too much from the original plot/events.**  
**Next chapter is going to be a BIG one. *grins***  
**BTW! I love it when you guys share songs that remind you of this story! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS. **

_"Picking up the pieces of the world I know_  
_With one in the fire and one in the snow_  
_It's a comeback story of a lifetime_  
_A comeback story of a lifetime_

_I'm bent on believing everything is alright_  
_I break with the day and I bend with the night_  
_It's a comeback story of a lifetime_  
_A comeback story of a lifetime_

_I walk a mile in your shoes_  
_And now I'm a mile away_  
_And I've got your shoes"_

Chapter 5 - Comeback Story

The moment I stepped into the Boston air, I felt my body harden. The smell was still the same. I gripped the step's railing so hard I am surprised it didn't bend beneath my fingers. Michael gave me an encouraging nudge. I sighed and took steps forward, almost regretting my decision to come back. But, I didn't have a choice. It was the...right...thing to do. That's what I'd been telling myself the whole four and a half hour flight here. I walked through familiar doors and took a familiar turn. It all seemed the same. Well, some things had changed but not many. Michael on the other hand looked thrilled to be home. The tall young man was bouncing around and for a second I seen the 16-year-old again in him. I had to allow myself a small grin.

The air seemed chillier here, I remembered days like this. Walking to the store and the glow of the tall iron street lamps. My chest constricted. Boston, you beautiful hard-working monster. We wasted no time getting to baggage claim and getting our stuff. Michael had been here not too long ago, had flown home for St. Patrick's day. Couldn't blame him, it's like the Irishman's Christmas. We hailed a cab and took it to Shannon's house. I'd never seen their home, just the bar. It was a modest brick house with bushes and a cement porch. Michael just let himself in and hollered out.

"Da? I'm home!" It was Sunday so Shannon was bound to be home. Within seconds heavy footsteps came around the corner and there he was. Tall and burly, a few gray's in his hair. Shannon's eyes lit up and he firmly hugged his equally large son.

"Aye! What'r ye doin' home?" He asked, obviously overjoyed to see his son. Michael chuckled and pulled away, motioning to me.

"S'not te only one who's come home!" Michael announced and Shannon finally seen me. His face lit up and he threw his arms open wide. I gave a happy chuckle and met him half way, letting the large Irishman wrap me up eagerly.

"Holy hell! S'good ta see ye, lass!" He squeezed me and I squeezed back.

"Good to see ya too, Shannon! How are you doin'?" I asked. He set me down and looked me over, grinning ear to ear.

"Doin' good. But lookit ye! Yer all grown up!" I rolled my eyes and shrugged. He laughed again and pushed the hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ears. "Ye look good 'Melia. Really." The sincerity in his voice genuinely touched me. Shannon was one of those people you meet and they stick with you for life. No questions asked.

We hung out for a bit, Shannon making us some lunch and catching up. I skirted around the subject of why exactly I was here. I left the majority of the conversation to the father and son, letting them tell stories and laugh together. It was heart-warming to see them carry on, also very bitter-sweet. Made me miss my Dad. Around 4 the energy started leveling out and Shannon turned his eyes on me.

"So why ye come in now?" I leaned back into the woven fabric of his broken in couch, shrugging and taking a sip of my water.

"I 'unno. Thought now was as best time as any." I gave him a sweet smile, unluckily for me Shannon smelled bullshit from a mile off. He eyed me, eye brow raised.

"Ah, I see. Sure it hasn't got'n anyt'ing te do wit te dead priest?" Damn it all to hell! I set the glass down and began fumbling with my rolled up flannel sleeves.

"Might be a little bit of it." I mumbled, sensing the lecture to come. Even Michael seemed to key down and sit further into the couch beside me. Shannon sighed and rose, walking into his kitchen and bringing back three beers. He passed Michael and I one before plopping down in his recliner and opening his. We followed suit and I took a gulp.

"I'm glad ye came te visit, but maybe ye shoulda waited." He stated. I chewed my lip and took a deep breath. "Ye know t'ere isn't not'in but trouble comin' in fast. Aft'r all t'at happened, yer back. I jus' worry, 'Melia. Ye've worked so hard te be okay..." He had valid points, but I couldn't help the flare of defiance that popped up.

"I know that. I just, had to come. Can't explain it." I replied. I felt the comforting stare of Michael's eyes boring into the side of my head. After the years we've spent together on the farm and being family, he tried to not ever bring it up. He was awesome like that. I just never wanted to be negative. I didn't want sympathy. Shannon grunted and leaned forward, letting his voice drop as if we were keeping secrets in his home.

"This is t'at 'callin' t'ing Doc told me about, eh?" I just nodded, taking another drink from my beer. "Lord 'ave mercy."

"Amen." It's true. Something bad was going to happen, something big. There was big players somewhere and if God brought me here, it was because there was souls to send home. Weight of the possible tasks ahead of me almost hurt. I have conflicting emotions about my past and what I have done. I am a good cop. Always abided the law since I took my oath. The twins weren't the only reason I avoided my past these days. Yes they had abandoned me and my love for them, but they were a reminder of what I had done. Sure, the man I'd killed was a bad man...but two wrongs never make a right. Just because I had a 'calling', it doesn't make it right to kill another man...does it? I shivered, feeling the itch behind my eyes. It was quiet for a few minuets before Shannon spoke again.

"Well, let's get yer stuff inside. Ye can stay 'ere if ye like, couch folds out." The men stood and I joined them, checking the clock on the wall. It was almost 5. I needed to get a few things done, but I was debating to wait until tomorrow morning. But, I'd like to spend tomorrow with Doc and visit the church to find out about Father Sibeal's services. Also wanted to see Dad's plot and maybe swing over to Rocco's family crypt. With one last swig of my beer I snorted, realizing I was about to break the law. How ironic after my earlier mental tangent. I opened the door for them as they brought in our luggage from off the porch.

"Do you mind if I use your truck? I need to drive to the station and pay a visit to a few folks. Dig around." Shannon shook his head about to say yes, but Michael spoke before he could.

"Take my car, it's out back in te alley. Da's got te key." The younger man held his hand out to his father as he took a ring off his key ring. It was a beer bottle opener with two beat up silver keys. "One's fer te house, o'ter is for te car." I nodded my thanks and hugged them both, promising to call if I wasn't back before 8. I used the bathroom before I left, making sure I looked presentable. The tight red flannel was good, my jeans comfy and my signature cowboy boots were at home. I kept my wallet in my front pocket and quickly got out of the house. My hair was in a pony tail the way I liked it these days, only bad thing was my bangs were in my eyes. I pushed them back and found the car. It wasn't too bad. An old Subaru coup.

I unlocked it and climbed in. I had to adjust the seats and mirrors. Once I was comfortable, I started it up and creeped through the alley, pulling onto the road. I had a few minuet drive ahead of me, at first it was hard for me to remember where I was going. The sun was hanging low then things started looking familiar again. I slowed when I seen the police station and signaled over. I took a deep breath and parked, getting out and rolling my neck. I locked the Subaru and walked up the steps into the station. I grabbed the door handle. _"Jesus, we look like the three stooges..."_ The memory of the first time I walked through these doors paused me. I let out a shaky breath and stared at my reflection in the moderately clean glass. Different time, Amelia. It'll be okay, I just had to keep reminding myself of this. With more confidence, I swung the door open and strode in.

The station had changed, nicer desks and more modern computers sat on top. Police officer's and more casually dressed cops in jeans and suits were buzzing around. They were indeed in an uproar. I've seen this before, this is what I understood. I looked around trying to find one of three familiar faces. Nobody noticed me for a moment, then a short bald man grabbed my attention.

"Can I help ya?" The stress level was clear, but I didn't take offense. I got it.

"Howdy, is there a Detective Greenly here?" My question surprised him. He looked me up and down before getting his mind back on track. His black uniform was not flattering I realized, too many donuts probably. I smirked.

"Yeah uh, he's back there with'a few of the guys. Want me to get 'em?" I followed his hand signals to what seemed like the break room of sorts. I shook my head and held up my hand, starting to walk that way.

"Nah, I got it Chief." I replied. The man didn't say anything else. A few men noticed me, one or two of them openly eye fucking me. Uhg, I wish all departments were like mine. When I reached the metal door, I knocked and waited.

"What?" I heard a snappy voice on the other side. Within a few seconds it was whipped open and I couldn't fight the smile from my face. I should have known, the three wonder cops were huddled together and looking very worried. I cocked an eyebrow, wondering if they happened to remember me. They did, I knew it the moment Greenly went from worried to scared shitless. The chubbier one of them, Dolly, grabbed my arm and jerked me inside.

"Jesus H Christ, yeah, we're fucked!" Greenly said, covering his mouth. I furrowed my brows, waiting to say hi. Duffy was trying not to get over worked but Dolly seemed almost ready to break, too. I sighed and gave them all pointed looks.

"Hey guys, good to see you too." I said, trying to lace the sarcasm in my voice. Dolly didn't wast any time cutting to the point.

"Amelia, right?" I nodded and leaned against the table, crossing my arms. "What are you doin' here?" Even Greenly gave him a 'are you fucking kidding me' look.

"Heard about what's goin' on." I said simply, letting the seriousness come into my face. The trio looked away and I couldn't focus because they were so fidgety. "Seen it on the news yesterday, didn't waste any time." I paused. "So, what happened?" Duffy adjusted his tie and shrugged, sipping the coffee he'd been holding.

"I dunno if we should tell you." I gave him a hard look and pulled my wallet out, flipping it open and showing them my shield. They seemed surprised except for Greenly.

"Seen the picture at McGinty's. Doc told me you graduated and became a detective." He smiled for just a second and I grinned before going back into serious mode. Duffy conceded and loosened up.

"The priest had been drug out of his confessional booth, door'd been kicked open. His rosary had been broken. Shooter put him on his knees and double ironed him in the head." I winced at his casualness regarding Father Sibeal, but he didn't have the personal connection that I did. But I had also noticed he'd said shooter. Not plural.

"So, it wasn't them?" I asked casually. I wasn't sure how much they knew about their leaving, but they seemed confused about my question. Dolly spoke up.

"No, just one short fucker. How come you don't know this, aren't you...ya know? With them? Or was?" I clenched my jaws, focusing on my breathing.

"Or was." I replied curtly, shifting my weight onto my other foot. "Seen the news and was worried. Thought maybe they'd done it. Father Sibeal did my Dad's service." I let that linger on them and Greenly spoke up.

"So, you're single?" The other two cops gave him a look to kill, I did too. Really? He shrugged and grinned sheepishly. "So if you're not here with them...but wait, if this drew you back.." Dolly answered him.

"I don't think they will come back." We all sighed and I rubbed my face, tired already.

"I dunno, honestly. After the Yakavetta trial they might not, but whoever did this personally called them out." Lord help us all. "There's just one problem."

"And what's that, princess?" Greenly asked me, handing me a cup of coffee. I nodded my thanks and finished.

"It will probably work. They aren't going to lay down and take this. Who's leading the investigation? Please tell me it's Smecker." I was aiming high on the luck scale today, crossing two of my fingers.

"You didn't hear? Smecker died a year ago, bad car accident." Dolly told me. I felt my face fall along with my heart. How had I not known about this. Damn, he was a good man. Did a lot for my family. But, I'd mourn him later. It was game mode right now, so I tucked it away in my mind for later. "As for who's here runnin' the show, it's a broad names Eunice Bloom. Special Agent Eunice Bloom. Apparently she was Smecker's prodigy." I noted the sarcasm in his voice. Well, shit.

"She isn't so bad, gorgeous." Greenly piped in. I rolled my eyes and sipped the coffee.

"Does she know...?" My question made them all shake their heads.

"Nope. She's legit. That's why we're shitting ourselves. If the boy's come back, we're done for. We'll be eating dick sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner..." Duffy smacked Greenly, shutting him up.

"She's confirmed it's not them. Bloom's done her research on them. Don't write her off, she's sharp." I grunted in agreement.

"She'd have to be for Smecker to train her." I went quiet, thinking and looking through the cracks in the blinds on the windows. "I don't want her to know I was here, not yet. I got some poking around to do. Let me give y'all my number, give me a ring if anything else pops up." I plucked the pen from Greenly's shirt pocket and scribbled my cell on a napkin. When I was done I handed it to Greenly. "Even the small things, let me know. Hopefully they don't show, but if they do I need to find them first before y'all do." The men nodded and I grabbed the door knob.

"We'll keep ya updated, Amelia. Good to see you doing good girl." Duffy said, waving me goodbye. I gave them a small smile and left them to their vices. A lot of people have been saying that lately. Had I been that transparent before? I shook it and wasted no time getting out of the station. When I was seated in the Subaru, I took a deep breath. It was so weird being regarded so...I don't know. I'm sure it was my age before and the fact the boys were so captivating. No matter where they were, their presence commanded attention. They were just magnetic. I swallowed the lump in my throat and started the car up, pulling out and driving to the first gas station to get a pack of smokes.

I lit one the moment I got back on the road. I had been debating whether or not to see Doc tonight or tomorrow. Despite how tired I was, I knew I would need to suck it up for now. Treat this as if I was hot on the trail and so close to getting my guy. I cracked my neck and took a right turn. The city scape was getting more and more familiar until I found myself driving passed the church and moments later...I was on my old block. My stomach clenched and I slowed. It wasn't until I was parking did I realize I was outside the old apartment building. I remained in the car, looking out the passenger window. It was the same. The only difference is there was colorful blinds in the windows of the place I had shared with many people I'd loved. I could still remember the smell of burnt food, alcohol wipes and that damn iron we'd used as a crude medical instrument. My eyes closed and I was 18 again.

Staggering up those wooden creaky stairs, opening the door and being greeted by an open space. Fresh morning coffee to shake a hang over. Laughter and tears, lots of tears. The smiling faces of two men, one dark and one light. Thunder and lightening. Soft and rough. So many lessons had been learned in there. I had flourished and withered here. With a deep breath I licked my lips and tossed the cigarette butt out the window. I started the Subaru up again and pulled out. Doc could wait until tomorrow night. The sudden emotional floodgate had me tired and I needed fresh eyes for the days ahead of me.

****Kings Of Leon - Comeback Story****


	6. The Boys Are Back

**A/N: *wipes sweat off forehead* Sweet baby Jesus. Well, here y'all go. Hope you **  
**get an adrenaline buzz from this. I did writing it! Shout-out to my reviewers and readers!  
The feedback I get and knowing how much this story connects with you guys means the world.  
Hugs for everyone! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS. **

_"If that old familiar city could talk in here_  
_You'd be just another nobody, you'd disappear_  
_Your days are numbered, we're back around_  
_We're coming for you and you're going down_

_It's been a long time coming_  
_It's been a long time coming_

_The boys are back_  
_The boys are back_  
_The boys are back_  
_And they're looking for trouble"_

Chapter 6 - The Boys Are Back

Morning came way too soon as I woke in the McLaughlin house. I felt the itchy couch on my shoulders and lower back. I grunted and rose up, bracing my body so I wouldn't fall over. It was always disorienting for me to wake up somewhere new. I blinked and was grateful Shannon's curtains were heavy material and not much light got through. Probably done on purpose considering the amount of alcohol that was consumed in this house. I had gotten back early last night and crashed shortly after. I checked my phone, three missed calls. One from Mom, two from Tristan. I groaned. It was almost 8 am, I had slept in. With a yawn and a stretch, I snuck into the bathroom and took a quick shower.

I dug out a towel from underneath the sink and dried off, then I wrapped my hair and got dressed. It seemed it was a warmer fall day here in Boston. I had dug out a pair of my tighter skinny jeans and my black under-wire bra. Over that I tossed on my gray cut off sleeves tee-shirt that I had messed with...the back had cuts all across it. I'd rolled the material and it allowed me to show off my tattoo. Also kept the important bits covered. My hair was simple, I just pulled the towel off and brushed it. Ta da. I slipped into my cowboy boys beside the front door and grabbed my short length jean jacket. This would do just fine. Actually, I rather liked this outfit. The front door creaked as I locked it behind me, I had errands to run.

I unlocked the Subaru coup and slid in. Once situated I pulled my aviators on and started the car up. Today would be busy but there were things that would have to be done. First thing was first, to the church. I had to ask a few questions and see about when Father Sibeal's service would be. Pretty sure they would have it at the church. Needed to do some praying while I was there, too.

* * *

I would need to be at the church Tuesday at 10 am for the start of Father Sibeal's services. They were going to be an all day thing so I figured I'd stick around for an hour or two then cut out discreetly. I'd made sure to sit in a pew for a bit and pray, felt weird without a rosary. Which had reminded me I needed to get to McGinty's directly after so I could get some stuff and my guns. It was almost noon when I walked out of the church, the other priest, Father Cabel had gotten me in a nice light-hearted conversation about the man who'd done me such a service. When I was back in the car, I pulled the sunglasses out of my hair and secured them on my nose. The trip to McGinty's wasn't a long one and for once, my anxiety didn't flare.

McGinty's was a second home to me. I knew Doc would probably be inside, getting things ready for tonight. Once parked, I all but ran to the door and pounded excitedly. Mumbles and curse words from inside made me smile. I braced myself and had to fight the need to giggle. When the old door opened, Doc's face seen me. I smiled, waving my hand like an idiot.

"Got anythin' to drink in there?" I asked, and the door suddenly burst open the rest of the way and the old man hugged me tightly. I chuckled and embraced him, having missed him dearly.

"Amelia! What te SHIT are ye doin here?" He asked, smile in his voice. I shrugged and let him let me go, only to wrap an arm through his so he could escort me inside. He shut and locked the door behind us.

"Like you don't already have a good idea, old man." I said back, watching him grab his glass of water and sit at the bar. I followed suit and sat down, shedding my jacket and letting him inspect me 'discreetly'. His faded blue eyes squinted and his mouth twisted, he was trying to fight an urge to let one out.

"FUCK!" A half breath later.."ASS!" I grinned and set my jacket on the bar top. "'M gonna guess it's Father Sibeal." I nodded and got comfortable, we were just watching each other. I did note this place still smelt the same. That was comforting.

"Yeah, seen the news and me and Michael flew in. He's with his Dad, no need to get him involved." My voice sobered up some, letting my face fall into the serious preset. Doc suddenly seemed very worried.

"'Melia...ye know t'eres a good chance.." I sighed and nodded. His wrinkled hands found mine and he squeezed. "Guessin' ye couldn' help yerself." The undertone of humor in his voice comforted me. He knew me so well. I really did love him.

"No, I couldn't. For their sake they'll stay in Ireland. Ain't nobody here who needs 'em." I stated simply, and he nodded in agreement. I knew Doc was cross with them, but he could never hate the boys like I could. He'd seen them through a lot, just like me. "But I am here, just in case." The old man was quiet and he was thinking. He knew all about our 'mission' and my new one. I had to walk lines now.

"What about yer job?" It was a valid question. I opened my mouth to speak and he let out a rushed "FUCK!" I grinned despite myself.

"I have two weeks vacation they let me turn in as an emergency. I wanna make sure it stays kosher in case the boys come back. Hope to intercept them and talk 'em into goin' home if they do show up." I didn't mention how if I did see them, I would bring hell down on them first. Doc must have picked up on it because he chuckled and tipped his glass to me.

"Gon' te sweet talk 'em, t'en?" I gave him a look, smirking. He shook his head and taking a sip. "God help 'em."

We sat around bull shitting and catching up, before I asked about my old stuff. Doc showed me into the spare room, it was nifty and hidden. He gave me the break down about it as he turned the lights on. Soon as I stepped in, I seen all the old boxes stacked in the left corner right as you walk in.

"T'ere te are. Should all be te way t'ey were as te day ye packed em." I sighed and nodded, pulling them down one by one. I felt my nerves bunching up as I flipped lids back and began seeing my old life. I chewed my lip, stomach knotting up and I stood still when I found my old steel toes. Dark brownish spatters were still on them. I gulped, Doc announced he'd make some lunch for us. I listened to his slight scuffle as he walked out. I was partially glad, I needed some alone time as I did this.

I took a deep breath and took out the boots and rummaged through its contents. I knew where my guns were, that's what I wanted the most for right now. At the bottom wrapped in a towel, was the two 1911's in the fine black leather holster. I was happy to see the shiny metal and wooden grips. I raised one out of the holster and pulled the slide back. Still clean and ready to go. The other was the same. I'd never got much of a chance to use these before, but that was probably about to change. I set them back in the towel and lifted it, laying it on the pool table. I spread it all out and went back to the box, finding Dad's compact Ruger .380. Yep, this would do.

By the time Doc got back, I was putting the double shoulder holster on and sliding in the extra loaded clips. He paused and looked me over.

"T'ats a lot'a fire pow'r fer a lass. FUCK!" I nodded and wiggled my right foot.

"Got one in there too, you never know." I grinned and began wrapping the towel back up and tossed it back into the box. He set down a large platter of sandwiches and two bottled Cokes. We pulled up two dusty stools and stayed in there as we ate. I wiped my hands on my jeans before walking over to grab a smaller box. I knew what was inside, but I needed to open it. I set it beside our food and flipped it open. I heart strangled in my chest, but I kept my face neutral. I withdrew a polished small wooden jewelry box, the trinity symbol neatly carved on top. I blinked. I fought the tremble in my hand, ignored the roar of thunder that bounced through my head. With a careful finger I pulled up the lid and was greeted by the sight of my rosary.

I just stared at it. The noise in my head was telling me to pick it up, but for the life of me I couldn't get myself to touch it. My jaw clenched and I was furious all over again. I had been so stupid! They had left me for four weeks, no call or anything...then they had came back when Dad died. They rescued me, enlightened me and 'loved me'...then they left again. Faith and loyalty, my ass. My hands had started shaking.

"Ye migh' need it, lass." Doc said softly. I tore my eyes from the wooden rosary and looked at him. His eyes held concern, I could see it plain as day even from behind his glasses. I swallowed and shrugged, looking back to the box. After a few seconds I hesitated, but lifted it up and felt the familiar weight in my palm. It felt right and wrong. "Don' let yer anger wit t'em deter ye from God." Good point, Doc.

"I'm not, it's just hard is all." I spoke back, softly. Trying not to think too much about it, I lifted it over my head and put it on. I tucked the cross between my breasts and took a deep breath. The air suddenly felt thick and heavy. My hand twitched. "I gotta go see Dad, was gonna go see Rocco too if I can. Wanna ride along?" I asked, knowing he'd say no. I just didn't want him to think I was trying to run again. Doc shook his head and came around to pat my back.

"We will later, I seen yer Da not too long ago. Went te brag on his lil' girl. T'ink ye need to SHIT! Go on yer own. Get some t'ings off yer chest." I nodded and hugged him, Doc always found a way to get me right in the heart.

"Alrighty, I'll be back tonight. I am staying at Shannon's but I thought I'd come and help out opening if you want me to. I'd like to see Shaun." His face lit up and that friendly smile crossed his face.

"Aye, I'll be lookin' forward to it. T'is place has missed ye!" I gave him a smile and hugged him. I moved the boxes all back before I left so he wouldn't have to worry about it.

* * *

My boots sunk into the moist grass of the cemetary. It was freshly cut and it smelled pleasant. I carefully maneuvered through the plots and eventually I found my Dad. His tombstone wasn't elaborate or massive. It was a large piece of marble with a celtic design. His name neatly etched along with his birthdate and the date of his passing. Carrin William Doyle. Beloved Father and Friend. I carefully sank to my knees and sat back on my ankles, ignoring the pressure of his old Ruger in my right boot.

"Hey Dad." I said out loud. I blinked and looked around me, making sure nobody was looking. I took a deep breath and continued on. "As you can see I am back in Boston. Sure you know everythin' that is goin' on. More than what I do even. Hell, I never wanted to come back." I felt my throat tighten, I hope he knew it wasn't because of him. My eyes began to get warm and I felt them moisten. It's been a while since I have had a good cry. "I hope you would be proud of me for being who I am. I have tried to be strong and do whats right. Everyone says you would be, but it's not the same. I'd love to be able to hear you say it..." My voice cracked and I had to cover my face for a moment with my hands. I inhaled once my throat let up and pushed on.

"I mean, I know you're proud of me. I felt you with me when I graduated into the force. Thank you for being there. Mom and Doc really try to make up for you being up there and not down here. I just...really hope you will help see me through this new turn in my life. I'm scared of what's coming. I thought I was okay with my past, but I'm not. I've coped and adapted...but this is..how do you forgive those who completely rip everything from you?" My voice was heavy with emotion and I felt almost as if I'd dissolve into the earth. I looked up at the other tombstones and finally back to Dad's. "I also feel like it's my fault you're here. I wish I would have told them to fuck off, maybe Yakavetta would have backed off of you. Put less of a target on us." My fists clenched. I knew it probably wouldn't have mattered what I or Dad had done, Yakavetta had been aiming for him.

The verbal admission of my problems made me feel a little better, and after a few moments I wiped my cheeks and cleared my throat. "I dunno how this is going to play out. I have taken an oath to abide the law and protect those who can't protect themselves...but I also have been called to bring unrighteous men to their knees and send 'em home. I can't separate my heart from my mind on this." I licked my lips and touched the beads around my neck. "I reckon I'll get it figured out when I need to know." I touched the grass and wished I could hug my Daddy. "I love you Dad, I'll be back soon. Keep an eye on my back, would ya?" I smiled at the tombstone and stood. I sniffled and wiped at me knees, casting one last glance over the grave and walking away. Pretty sure I didn't get more than 20 yards away when I heard my cell phone chirping from my jacket. I rolled my eyes, sure it would be Tristan, but it was unknown. I answered.

"Doyle here." I said, waiting for a response.

"Hey Princess, it's Detective Greenly. Got an update for ya." I stopped walking and looked around again, nobody in sight.

"Okay, what's up?" I heard Greenly shuffling around with papers and a squeaky office chair.

"The Chinese got shot up last night, heroin and blow was all over the place. We've been on the scene all fuckin' night and the better part of this morning." My heart sank.

"Verdict?" There was a silence.

"It's them. Bloom identified it immediantly." His voice dropped to a whisper and I felt the familiar flames of terror and fury lick its way under my skin. "Word has it these guys were pushin drugs and supplying for the Yakavetta family. The new Don is some douche bag named Concezio. He's smart, but desperate. Bloom think's where the boy's hit em so hard they have been layin in their own piss all these years and Concezio is tired of it." I blinked and switched my mind into cop mode.

"Makes sense, draw them out to get them back in town. But..have we gotten any information on the man who killed Sibeal?" Greenly grunted and took a drink of something.

"There's a few ideas out there, but nothing hard yet. More than likely someone brought in to do the job, fucker's don't wanna get their salami lovin' fingers dirty." I sighed and began walking faster towards the Subaru. "Oh, somethin' else came up you might find interesting...there was a third shooter." I stopped walking for a second.

"A third shooter?" I asked, bringing Michael's keys out and unlocking the car. I slipped in and sat still.

"Yep. They have a new trio. I take it that wasn't you?" I sighed.

"No, I would tell you if it had been. What was the caliber?" I thought maybe it could be Noah, that old fucking prick. Sure I was angry as hell with the boys, but their father. Oh my god.

"Was a .22." I couldn't help myself, I laughed.

"Then it definitely wasn't me Greenly. Jesus. Well, I'm gettin' ready to get back on the road. Call me and update me as soon as you know something else, kay?"

"Yes ma'am. Bye." I hung up and tossed the phone into the passenger's seat. I stared at the steering wheel for a minuet or two, processing the information that I had just been given. They were back and they were already working their way up to the Yakavetta Don once more. It infuriated me they were always 3 steps ahead of the law. I clenched my jaw and started the car. I had a good feeling about where they would hole up this time. I shifted the car into reverse and back into drive. When I hit the road I was seeing red.

The sun had just set when I pulled back into McGinty's. I took a somewhat calming breath before swinging the car door open and shutting it. I cracked my neck and rolled my shoulders. I didn't hear any noises from inside the pub, he should be open by now. I frowned. As I came towards the front door, I confirmed the silence. Nothing was coming from within. I looked around the street as I spotted a car parked off to the side beside of the dumpsters. It was a rusted old Volts Wagon bug. It had flames on the front of it. Damn, that was a hideous car. Ridiculous looking was an understatement. I licked my lips and tried the door knob to the pub, it swung right open. Doc always locked the door behind him. That itchy feeling spread through my brain and I shivered from the sudden rish of energy.

I carefully eased the door open and looked around. Most the lights were off and I shut the door behind me.

"Hello?" I called, no answer. I was going to call out again before I heard a loud thump, crash of glass breaking. "Shit!" I hissed, drawing one of my 1911's and holding it out. I secured my frame and began rolling my steps, making my boots almost silent. I was making my way under the counter when I heard another crash and a rumble. I clenched my jaw. My steps quickened and took me through the kitchen into the back hall way. I seen it then, the old speakeasy room door was open and I heard something faintly. I strained my ears, coming up behind the open door, listening carefully.

"Not t'is time, ye lit'l shit!" That was Doc's voice. I gripped my gun tightly. I took a side step and was about to swing in, to confront the intruder. I took a deep breath, but then the other voice spoke...it knocked the wind from me. I almost stumbled, but caught myself.

"We'll see about t'at old man...Will somebody please come ov'r 'ere and..."

"FUCK!"

"Me up te..."

"ASS!"

There was an eruption of laughter from within. Each voice echoed through me and I wanted to run away, forget this has happened and go back home. I wanted to be on the farm, riding my horse, at the station doing paper work...anything but here right at this moment. I knew they were back, but I had honestly hoped I'd never find them. Hoped they'd be smart enough to steer clear of here. Do what they've come to do and leave me be. My heart was hammering and I just stood there frozen in the onslaught of memories and promises that were never kept. The Amelia who would have rejoiced to see her boy's cowered within me, quiet and crying. I closed my eyes listening to..them..teasing Doc and laughing even louder. I could see me, face red and puffy. Face hollow from grief of losing her _líne saol_. Hear her raspy voice screaming for something she'd not have a chance to see for five years. God damn it all to hell.

With shaky hands I put my pistol back in its holster and took a deep breath. I didn't survive these past five years just to be brought down now. I had promised myself if I ever got the chance, I would give them some of what they'd given me. Pain and anguish. Tears. Torment. I swallowed the lump in my throat. With a numbness I only reserved for those whom I wished to lock up for a lifetime, I took even strides around the door. My heart knew who was there, my ears had told it so...but my eyes confirmed it. The men were crowded around the pool table, cigarette smoke swirling through the air and a whiskey bottle. I had been so quiet they had not noticed me. I clenched my jaw and leaned against the door frame, digging into my pocket for a smoke. I took out my lighter, and before I stuck it I decided to speak.

"Well, ain't this nice." My anger kept my voice even, I didn't look at them as I brought the flame to the cigarette dangling from my lips. "Nice to see everyone back together again." I inhaled, slowly looking up at Doc. His face was red from alcohol, but his face looked ashen. With all the patience I had left, my eyes traveled over to them. Connor and Murphy were staring at me, jaws slack and eyes wide. I forced the fire down to the pit of my stomach, giving them a moment to savor the silence before I brought this mother fucker down around us all. They were the same, except a few small wrinkles around their eyes. The worry lines on their foreheads more prominent. My stomach clenched. I held their gazes, mine unwavering.

"'Melia..." Connor finally spoke, his body was rigid and his muscles tense. Murphy was the perfect mirror of his twin. I let my eye brow raise, giving a small nod to acknowledge my name. My eyes darted to the new face. He was about their height, obviously Mexican. He had a mullet and a short goatee. His dark eyes were darting back between them and me, he looked confused. I smirked ruefully. I took a draw from my cigarette and kicked myself off the door frame. The air was suddenly cement but I fought it, walking a little closer to the group of men. Doc looked as if his head was about to explode.

"So, I take it you guys know each other?" The new guy spoke up, trying to break the tension in the room. I narrowed my eyes at Connor and Murphy, before nodding and looking back at the mexican genius in the room.

"Yeah, I'm Amelia Doyle." I extended my hand to him, he gave the boys a look and took it. He too had a firm grip, callused from hours of manual labor. My eyes held his, no instincts told me he was a bad guy. I did the best I could to hold my anger back. I fought the shaking.

"I'm Romeo." Romeo? Oh lord in heaven...I let his hand drop and reached for the bottle of whiskey, taking a long draw off it. When I set it down, nobody else still hadn't dared to speak. I cleared my throat and angled my body towards the boys. Murphy's eyes were no longer wide, just disbelieving. Connor on the other hand, looked as if he was waiting for a bomb to go off.

"Amazing what'll bring people back..." I said clearly, flicking my cigarette into the ashtray directly in front of Murphy. He didn't budge, eyes trained on me. They were watching my every move. "Some people come back to vacation, see loved ones..." I took a deep breath and felt my nerves slowly starting to light on fire. "Or because of a dead priest. It's amazin' how death brings folks back together. Shame it's never 'just because' or someone who just misses you does it...it's always death." Another inhale. I was taught, waiting for one of them to say something, anything. But they didn't, so I continued on. "Do you realize how fuckin' stupid it was to come back?" My voice had dropped some, it almost sounded like a growl. My eyes were pinned to the Irish brothers. This time Murphy spoke, sounding as if he didn't trust his own voice.

"We had to. Can't let some asshole kill'a priest in'a church...makin' it look like us..an' not do somet'ing." I snorted and held the cigarette an inch from my lips. Their eyes looked at me, almost in disbelief. I licked my lips and shook my head.

"Or ya could have stayed in FUCKIN' IRELAND! There are these people called police officers who will make sure the situation gets handled!" I snapped at them. They didn't flinch, but Doc and Romeo did. I could see the color finding it's way back to their faces. I felt the thunder raging through my head and my heart pounding. Connor huffed and grabbed the whiskey bottle, swigging from it.

"Ye seem te forget what it t'is we do, lass." Connor shot at me, only sounding a fraction defensive. I shook my head, pointing at them. Forget? Are they fucking kidding me?

"Forget? How the FUCK could I forget?" I hissed, wanting nothing more than to beat their beautiful asshole faces off the pool table. "Really? Tell me, HOW COULD I FORGET?" I yelled, angrily snuffing out the cigarette and leaning into the pool table. They didn't say anything. I growled and pointed to them again. "I'm not the one who forgot something." I seen Murphy's eye twitch and Connor's eyes divert from mine. Silence enveloped us and I shook my head, letting an angry laugh bubble up from my stomach.

"We 'ave te do t'is, _álainn_." Murphy whimpered and I slammed my fists on the pool table. My eyes were deadly and my voice more serious than I even thought it could be.

"You EVER call me that again, I will break you're fucking jaw." My threat didn't go unchallenged, Connor huffed up in defense of his brother.

"Ye needta calm down, we'll talk if ye wanna talk...didn' t'ink ye'd be here!" Connor came closer to me and squared his shoulders with mine. I didn't back down, just remained still.

"Fuck you." I spat at him. "If you had wanted to talk, you would have called or wrote a fucking letter...something." I paused and motioned to Doc. "You know what happened after? I had to read a letter from your...father..." I spat the title out as if it were poision. "That man over there had to watch me wither away! I became nothing! I felt everything I had left shrivel up and DIE! I had lost EVERYTHING!" My voice wavered and I gripped the pool table. Connor's jaw tightened and I held those light electric blue eyes with mine. "I had to rebuild everythin'. I got myself through. But, a small part of me never gave up hope you'd call. But..you never did, either of you." My eyes shot back to Murphy. He honestly looked as if he didn't know what to do. I had loved them both equally, but I would never expected Murphy to hold out this long. He was more emotional than his twin, thought he'd give in and call me...but he never did.

I seen Romeo out of the corner of my eyes watching us. Connor was staring down at me and I up at him.

"So uh, you're an ex girl friend?" He asked awkwardly. I didn't say anything, just felt my nose flare.

"No, I was just a bump in the road as they passed through." That made Murphy react. He threw the beer bottle in his hand across the room and pointed his finger at me.

"No, FUCK YE! Ye should know t'ats not true!" I snapped my face to his direction and rolled my eyes.

"Oh really, is that so? Sure as shit felt like it! Funny how everyone y'all get close to ended up on the shorter end of the stick!" I took a deep breath and turned to Romeo, taking a step back from Connor. I was seeing red. "Did they tell you what happened to the other guy who they 'recruited'?" I heard a warning growl from the lighter haired brother.

"Melia..." Connor warned, I ignored him.

"He ended up dead. He had been their best friend. Rocco was his name." I was going to continue but a strong hand grabbed my arm harshly. Without any warning, I reacted the way my instincts and training had taught me. I jerked my arm away and kicked him in the thigh. Connor grunted and reached out once again to grab me, anger written over his face. Murphy had made a sound but I wasn't concerned about him. It felt like time shifted as I dodged the hand going for my shirt. I just simply side stepped and cocked back, landing a hard punch to his jaw. He staggered and tripped over a box in the floor. His defiant eyes were locked onto me the whole way down. I heard a shuffle behind me and I turned. Romeo had moved to let Murphy at me.

For just an instant I felt fear flash through me, but I reigned it back in. Murphy grabbed my sleeve and I slipped out of it, leaving him holding it and staring at me in anger and confusion. I was about to scream at him, when a hand grabbed my ankle and I fell over. I hit the cement floor with a grunt. Connor had brought me down, but it wasn't over yet. With a snarl I brought my boot up and landed my heel on his diaphragm. I almost heard the air leave his lungs. I got to my feet and Murphy went for me again. He was quicker this time, wrapping his arms around me.

"Damnit 'Melia!" He shouted in my ear. I shook my head and dug my nails into his forearm, he hissed but didn't let go. I grunted and pushed my arms out from me, kicking my legs out, I slipped away from him. I landed in an awkward crouch and swung my arm out, hitting the back of his knee. Murphy fell forward, and once he landed on his knees his face met my knee. After the impact was over and he fell down close to his brother, I stepped away out of their reach and grabbed my jacket. The room was quiet except for the muffled curses from the beaten Irishmen.

I looked to Romeo and picked up the whiskey, taking another swig. "They are angels of death, and I am no better. They don't just hurt their enemies, but the ones they supposedly love and care about...think about that the next time y'all go play Alamo." I said, only slightly winded. "If y'all mother fuckers are smart, you'll let me do my job and help the locals get this case wrapped up." I found Doc standing back, covering his mouth and tears in his eyes. I shot him an apologetic look. I took a step closer to the boys and looked down at them. They were still, watching me as if I was a total stranger. Then it hit me, I was a stranger to them. I clenched my jaw and looked at them very seriously before drawing one of my 1911's. I aimed it and fired, hitting a beer bottle that had rolled close to their heads. They jumped, but I kept it pointed.

"If you two fucks ever touch me again, I'll shoot you. Go back to Ireland, fuck some more sheep and tell your father if he's smart he'll bury himself 6 feet deep and let the worms skull fuck him into oblivion." I seen the anger flashing behind their eyes, I didn't care. Right now I was a hammer and they were nails. I let go of the breath I momentarily held and put my gun away. I paused and jerked the rosary off, looking at it once more before looking at them and tossing it between them...watching it hit the shattered glass. "Tá tú aon smaoineamh cé mhéad grá agam ort, agus conas a mharaigh tú dom. A fuair bás mé an lá sin. Cé a fheiceann tú anois nach bhfuil a. Téigh abhaile. Creidimh agus dílseacht mo thóin._(You have no idea how much I loved you, and how you killed me. I died that day. Who you see now is isn't her. Go home. Faith and loyalty my ass.)_"

With that I stepped over Murphy and walked out of the room. I felt gratified and free, Id said everything I'd always wanted to. I'd hurt them. I'd proven I wasn't going to be her ever again. Before I got the the front door, I realized I was crying. I didn't remember feeling them coming on. I pushed forward until the night air hit me in the face and I sucked in a sharp breath. I had finally done it, confronted my past and kicked it's ass. I lit another cigarette and walked to the Subaru. I inhaled and exhaled, feeling the itch in my brain almost blind me as I braced myself on the side of the car. I was exhilarated. And yet...

That look in their eyes. I recognized it because I'd seen it in the mirror for almost two years after they'd left me alone. It angered me they had the audacity but...I couldn't un-see it. I remembered what Noah's letter had said. They loved me, think they are doing the right thing. The look in the boy's eyes had been betrayal. I wiped my cheeks and got into the car. I cranked the window down and started the car. I needed to be drunk, I needed Michael and his warm fuzzy hugs. My head hurt and my vengeful elation left me in one heart beat. The thunder in my head ebbed away the further I got from the pub.

****Dropkick Murphys - The Boys Are Back****


	7. Blue on Black

**A/N: Okay, so now we have the emotional aftermath of the 'reunion'. **  
**I am struggling with the plot for this one a little, well, a lot more**  
**than the last one. If it seems shaky, just bare with me and keep faith. I'll get it**  
**to where it will make more sense...hopefully. *grins***  
**Thank you for all the awesome reviews last chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS. **

_"Night, falls, and I'm alone_  
_Skin, yeah, chilled me to the bone_  
_You, turned and you ran,_  
_Oh yeah_  
_Oh slipped, right from my hand_

_Hey_  
_Blue on black_  
_Tears on a river_  
_Push on a shove_  
_It don't mean much_  
_Joker on jack_  
_Match on a fire_  
_Cold on ice_  
_A dead man's touch_  
_Whisper on a scream_  
_Doesn't change a thing_  
_Don't bring you back_  
_Blue on black_  
_Oh yeah, blue on black"_

Chapter 7 - Blue On Black

I had managed to make it to Father Sibeal's service with only a single minuet to spare. I wore a nice plain black suit with a white blouse underneath. I had my hair in a tight bun on the top of my neck and blended in along the back wall of the sanctuary. Luckily for me, my heels weren't totally uncomfortable. My eyes were a little sore from the crying I'd done last night once I'd gotten back to Shannon's. Michael and Shannon had been gone, surely to the pub. I had drank quite a few beers and more whiskey by myself before passing out at some point. They'd briefly woke me up on their way in. I kind of remember Michael clearing the empty bottles away and properly tucking me in. The idea of alcohol made my stomach turn and my head spin.

I quietly cleared my throat and listened to Father Cabel talk about the life and achievements Father Sibeal had accomplished for the church. He'd done many good things, touched many lives. Mine included. I tried not to think about yesterday and the way I had flown off the handle. But, I'm too damn stubborn for my own good. As the cathartic voice began to drone out...I thought about Murphy and Connor. It had felt so good to actually put them on their asses. I'd never thought in a million years I'd actually be able to do it, but I did. I didn't regret it really, but it bothered me now. Maybe I felt guilty? I took a deep breath and looked around, nobody here I really knew. I never enjoyed hurting people, that wasn't who I was. But I'll be damned if I hadn't felt so satisfied seeing them on the ground and shocked into speechlessness.

I blinked and shifted on my feet. Ahead of me was the same statue of Jesus that had captivated me years ago. I still felt the same now looking at it. Sad and confused, resolute and accepting. My heart cracked a little. I wasn't a person who went around hurting people because it made me feel better. I was a cop, a good detective. I'd trained hard to be in my position and I fought hard for people. But...on the other side of the coin I was a killer. I've killed two men. Both indeed were trying to hurt me, but I killed them all the same. I could be violent and vengeful. Qualities of someone who wasn't good. This revelation humbled me and I crossed myself. Can't have the good without the bad, I suppose. I really was no different from them, but I would have never left them to their own devices like the way they did me.

An hour later I snuck away from the service and out the door. The mid day sun hit my face and I squinted. I needed tylenol and a nap. My heels click clacked on the pavement as I reached the Subaru and unlocked the door. Before I got in, I shed my jacket and un-tucked my blouse. I slid in and put my sunglasses on. The car started up fine, but I sat there for a moment and thought about my life some more. Despite my anger and personal grudges, were the twins bad men? The answer was immediant. No. We were the same, them and me. It was sobering to understand. I don't think I could ever trust them again the way I used to, but I don't think God brought me here to just make their lives hell. We three were called, we had a job to do. I groaned, lighting a smoke and pulling out of the parking space.

I took out my cellphone and dialed my mother's number. I put it on speaker and sat it in my lap. It rang a few times and I heard her voice.

"Where the hell have you been?" She snapped at me, no hello's or anything. I frowned, slowing to stop at a red light.

"Uh...I'm in Boston." I chewed my lip, waiting to hear her voice. She was probably shocked.

"Boston?"

"Yep."

"Honey, why are you in Boston?" Her voice sounded worried, and I couldn't blame her. I was worried, too.

"Father Sibeal was murdered in the church. I wanted to be at his service and see Doc, Michael wanted to see his Dad. Seemed like as best time as any." I partially lied, and unfortunately, I was no longer a bad liar.

"Oh honey, that's terrible! I'm so sorry to hear this. He was a good man." I made a 'mhm' sound and sighed. "What's wrong?" I licked my lips and shrugged to myself.

"Oh nothin', they are back..too." Again it got quiet.

"Have you seen them?" I had to chuckle ruefully and take another draw off my cigarette.

"Oh yeah, sure they'll be showing off our encounter for a while." She gasped.

"Did you shoot them?"

"God no! Just, ya know, left a few bruises I'm sure." She made a sound I couldn't really understand and I took a right to get back to Shannon's house. "Thought about shootin' em, but I didn't."

"Good God, I'm sorry hun. Are you okay?" I made a 'psht' sound.

"Course I am, this is me your talkin' too. Tough as nails, remember?" I tried to sound light-hearted but she wasn't buying it.

"Amelia, they were your everything. You're not okay otherwise you wouldn't have called me. How did they react to seeing you?" I blinked and took another right.

"Shocked. They were at Doc's when I showed up. Kinda went straight into a fit and didn't give them time to say anythin'." The more I talked to my Mom about it, the guiltier I felt...kinda.

"I understand, but maybe you should hear 'em out at least. I mean, I can't be anymore angry at them because I am your mother and I seen you suffer for so long...but you're a stronger woman for it now. I hate that it happened, but maybe it had been meant to." Her words took me by surprise and I felt my heart stop momentarily. Damn her logic. I felt shaky as I pulled into the McLaughlin driveway. She was right though, I had grown up to be that much stronger. "_If the Lord see's fit, they will return to you._" A line from Noah's letter years ago echoed through me with the crashes of thunder, almost as if it were trying to prove a point. I shuddered.

"You're probably right, but I just can't..."

"I know sweetie, just don't hit them anymore.." She chuckled and sighed. "I know you're angry, but if nothing else get closure with them. Forgive them and move forward." As always, her advice was solid and true. I turned the car off and huffed.

"I hate it when you're right. But I'll do what I can. I love you." She made a triumphant sound and I rolled my eyes.

"I love it when you tell me I am right! And I love you too, call me soon to let me know you're alright." I agreed and we hung up. I pocketed my cell and got out of the Subaru. I looked up when I heard the front door squeak open, Michael was standing there. He had trimmed up the beard and seemed refreshed. I gave him a small smile and met him on the porch.

"How'd it go?" He asked me, I shrugged and lifted my sunglasses up into my hair line.

"Bout as eventful as a funeral gets. Was nice what Father Cabel was sayin' though. How'd everything go last night?" His shit eating grin told me stories in itself.

"As if I'd nev'r left. Gotta feelin' your's went a bit dif'rent." His bright blue eyes scanned my face and I tilted my head to the side.

"Wen't about as well as I was hopin' it would. Murphy and Connor are indeed back. Let's just say our reunion left them a 'wee bit sore'." I ended my statement in my Irish dialect impression and Michael smiled before taking mu jacket from me.

"Can' say t'ey don' deserve it 'n more, lass. Nice guns by te way." I grinned but it quickly turned rueful.

"S'only thing they ever gave to me that was useful."

* * *

After dinner, Shannon and Michael were loading up to get back to The Green Isle. I was washing the dishes and trying to figure out how in the world I was going to make it through the next two weeks. Michael and Shannon had begged me to come to the pub with them, mingle a little. But after last night's boozer I'd just rather stay here and think. I hugged them good-bye and came back inside. I left the wooden door open with the screen door closed. There was a nice warm breeze outside and it aired out the house. I had long since changed in to jeans and a muscle shirt with my hair tied back in a pony tail. After the kitchen was done I walked to the couch and sat down. What now? I chewed my lip and thought about driving over to McGinty's to apologize to Doc, but decided maybe I should just take some time to let it all cool down. But, true to my life, God decided to make my mind up for me.

"Hello?" A woman's voice drew me from my thoughts and startled me. I heard the click of heels on the porch and stood up. I sighed, wondering who it could be. I walked up to the door and seen strawberry blond woman in a pencil skirt and pea coat. Her face was sharp yet feminine. I cleared my throat as I opened the screen door and stepped outside.

"Howdy, can I help you?" My eyes met hers and she smiled, perfect white teeth. The woman extended a hand after she had pulled her glove off.

"Yes, my name is Eunice Bloom. Special Agent Eunice Bloom. Are you Detective Amelia Doyle?" My stomach twisted. Fuck! I swallowed my nerves down and nodded, taking her hand. For a lady, she had a firm shake.

"That's me. Uh, may I ask why you're here Special Agent?" She nodded and motioned to the black town car behind her.

"Sure can, but why don't we go for a ride and get some coffee? I have loads to say to you, as I am sure you have just as much to tell me." Her heavy southern accent made mine sound like a bad impression. I licked my lips and wanted to cuss, but Agent here wasn't going to take no for an answer...I could tell by her body language.

"Sure thing, mind if I throw my boots on? Come in." I opened the door and held it while she stepped inside and watched me get my stuff. I almost went for my holstered guns on the table, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. So i straightened up and slipped my feet into my boots. When I grabbed my jacket she eyed me speculatively.

"Grab your cannons sweetheart, don' bother me none." There was a knowing twinkle in her eyes and I did as I was told. I slipped the holster around my arms and seated them comfortably underneath. I didn't put my jean jacket on, just let it hang from my arm. Once I had my wallet and keys, I followed her out and locked the house behind me. She didn't say anything else until we were in her car and pulling out.

"I am going to cut to the point here, Amelia. I know about your involvement with the MacManus brothers." She said this as casually as if she'd just offered me tea. I turned my head and just stared at her. "But, thankfully for you I was passed the torch by Paul Smecker to make sure you stay safe and they get to do what they need to do, well, what you all need to do." She shot me a side glance and took a left turn. I felt my heart beat racing.

"So, you're gonna help?" I asked, trying to get myself back on track. She nodded and reached over and patted my knee.

"Yes'm I sure am. I seen you in the station, I figured I would give you time to get your barrings about you. Smecker had a whole file on you, made me familiarize myself just in case." I let out a deep breath and rubbed my face. Holy fucking shit.

"Why does this not surprise me more than it does?" I asked out loud, Eunice just laughed and shook her head.

"Girl has to have her secrets, you should know that. I took some time to look you up in the system, sorry if that seems intrusive. I just wanted to get an idea about what I am working with..." She trailed off briefly as she signaled to get over and pull into what looked like a beauty salon and massage parlor. "You are a good Detective. Your record shows it, Smecker has told me you were one of the good ones, but I just wanted to make my own assumptions. I think he was right. Now, business time." She opened her door and I followed suit, utterly lost about what we were doing here.

"So this is a working date?" I asked, half humored as I tossed my jacket on. She grinned and winked.

"There's a fat man in there I must have a little chat with. If you could please keep an eye out for me I would kindly appreciate it, Detective." I nodded and followed her in. Aside from the sudden change in events, I felt comforted knowing we had someone on our side. Well, I did. I hadn't officially made up my mind whether or not I was with the boys on this. But I was with whatever plan brought this shooter down. We walked down between rows of women getting their hair done or nails. The smells almost gagged me. Uhg. When we got to the back, I stayed put while Eunice went in and shut the door behind her. I ignored the questioning looks of the women and men sitting and waiting. A few moments later, the massuese came out looking as confused as I felt.

Just a minuet later I heard a crash and seen someone cast me a worried look. I cleared my throat and showed my badge, aiming for my assured voice.

"Police business. Don't worry." I put my wallet up once everyone seemed to calm down a little. I kept my ear close to the door and waited patiently. Few more minuets later Eunice came out looking quite amused and signaled it was time to leave. She began telling me about the fat man, Gorgeous George, and her plan to shake him up. I listened, thinking how genius it was. Eunice told me about how he'd get antsy and start rounding up the other street guys Concezio has working for him. Just needed to give it some time. The plan is to draw the boys out, and in doing so draw the shooter out.

"Sounds like you have this all planned out." I finally told her as we got to another red light. Eunice shrugged and looked at me briefly.

"Yes, I do. But the problem here is I need you to be with them." I could tell she had an idea about why I was no longer attached to their hip. I chewed my bottom lip. "In order for this all to work, they need you. I know about the new side kick but he's not like them. I mean for cryin' out loud the man uses a .22." Her attempt to lighten the mood worked as I had to let out a chuckle.

"Yeah, I heard about that." It was my turn to grin. "I have Greenly keeping me updated. Well, he's kinda shotty but I didn't know you were on Team Saints." Eunice shook her head softly, accelerating and eventually pulling off into a Starbucks.

"Yeah, they aren't aware of the fact either. It's fun watching them squirm. Poor Greenly." We got out promptly and went inside to get us a coffee. Instead of having it in the store, we went back to the black car and sat inside. I took advantage of the silence, trying to think where I wanted to stand in all this. I had my faith in God, but my loyalty was to my badge. To myself, really.

"Guess the hard part now is just figuring out where I stand with all this." I confessed to the FBI agent. She sipped her coffee and turned in her seat to better look at me.

"What has changed for you? Well, aside from them leaving and you becoming a cop? I thought this was something above everything else, even the law of man." Good point.

"I did. Before I was put in an impossible situation and it was mostly dumb luck that we survived. Now I am grown up and I don't need them savin' my life. They have proved they don't need me to do their job." I took a sip of my cappuccino and watched her think. After a few breaths she sighed and shrugged.

"Well, from what I understand they started this after you came to Boston five years ago. You'd been a safe haven for them. Smecker told me the whole story, said it was beautiful and tragic to see the three of you guys together. But he also said it gave him hope..." She paused and patted the place above her heart. "I think, Detective, what you need to do is listen to your heart. If you want to sit back and help me pull strings, that's fine. But I think _you_ have been given a calling for a reason. You make up their holy three. They need balance. The Chinese job had went bad, it had been wreckless. The boy's need their safe haven again." Her words hit me like a tornado. I didn't want to hear these things, they hurt. I took another sip of my hot drink and cleared my throat.

"It's just hard to do. I kinda roughed em up last night, not so sure they'd wanna see me anyways." I looked at her and she just grinned.

"One thing I know about men is that there isn't nothing sexier than a woman who can kick some serious fuckin' ass." I snorted and laughed some more.

"Then I am fuckin' Tyra Banks to them right now." After we finished talking some more and getting to know each other, Special Agent Bloom brought me back to Shannon's.

We swapped numbers and agreed we'd keep each other updated. After she left I went inside and resumed my spot on the couch. I had a lot of thinking to do, I needed to search my soul and my heart as well. I didn't think they needed me, or wanted me anymore. I didn't think I needed or wanted them either. Too much time has passed, too much has changed. But, they were here. I remembered the looks on their faces when they'd first seen me. The shock and fear, then the sadness my anger wouldn't allow myself to notice until now. Hurt. I clenched my jaw and touched my neck. I had thrown my only trinket I had from them in their faces. I knew maybe at one time they had really loved me. My heart pounded violently in my chest and my mind itched. No, they had loved me. Deep down in the darkest depths of my soul where I had buried the past, I felt it calling to me.

Tears sprang into my eyes as I allowed myself to open the casket of the girl I'd buried years ago. Her eyes met mine, wet and wide. Innocent and betrayed. I choked out a sob, feeling her heart beating again in time with mine. I did love them, God I really did. You can't just scrap that away, you just cover it up with bitterness and anguish. Mom had been right, you don't forget those things. You never stop feeling them. Murphy and Connor had left me more than two guns and a note from their father. They left me to grow and be safe. Sweet Mother Mary, I am a fucking idiot. I wiped at my face and bent over my knees, trying to get it all out of my system. I shook almost violently, letting all the memories and emotions roll over me in torrents. Every memory that would have proven my anger wrong or soothed my rage was hitting me like sledge hammers. I had locked it all up, hell-bent on being better than them. Better than who I had been.

Regardless though, I needed to heal these still seeping wounds and stay strong. _Don't stop, keep fighting._ Rocco's voice echoed through my head amongst the other things I was trying to calm. I hear ya, Roc. I hear ya. I sucked in a breath and carefully took the guns off. I toed out of my boots and laid on the couch. I'll find them tomorrow, try to make peace where I could. Make an effort to hear them out and figure out what our next move was. I couldn't change the fact I'd changed, or the changes they'd made...but maybe we could get to know each other for who we are now. Indeed I was still plenty angry, but as in the old days, if they needed me...I wanted to be there. That's what my heart was telling me.

****Kenny Wayne Shepard Band- Blue on Black****


	8. Love Will Always Leave A Mark

**A/N: This is mostly just 'the makeup' chapter. Next chapter will pick off directly after this.  
Yay! Looking forward to how the gang will be with a new Amelia thrown in.  
Can't wait! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS. **

_"There's no use to try and suppress_  
_It's always there reminding_  
_The one wound that never forgets_  
_Open and undying_  
_Always alive, always inside_

_And no one comes out the same_  
_Love always leaves a mark_  
_The scars give it all away_  
_Burned in your heart_  
_Love will leave a mark_

_Twisting, tearing apart_  
_Holding me together_  
_Changing every thought_  
_Haunting me forever_  
_Always inside"_

Chapter 8 - Love Will Always Leave A Mark

It had taken me an hour to drink my coffee and smoke half a pack of cigarettes. My nerves were on edge. I gave myself a hellacious pep talk as I showered and got ready. There was so much to say, and just as many things to not say. I slipped on a pair of black leggings and a black sports bra. Over top of that I put on a loose-fitting white tank. It was supposed to be warm again today, if it got windy or chilly I would throw my jacket on. I did my makeup some, just base things like foundation and mascara. Chapstick finished my face off and I braided my hair off to the side. Simple, not too much. I'd forgotten how long my hair was, a lot longer than they remembered it probably. I liked it longer. I took a deep breath and grabbed Michael's keys and my guns. I slipped them on and put my wallet down into the front of my bra. I hated purses, so a lot of things went in my bra. Along with my lighter and pack of smokes.

Michael was waiting on the couch for me, stretched out in his sleeping pants and chewing his mouthful of banana. I waved to him, about to head out the door.

"Hope ye know wha' yer doin, 'Melia." He said calmly. I stopped and turned to face him. I knew he was worried about me, I just sighed and adjusted my guns.

"I hope I do too, hun." I gave him a smile and waved, walking out and loading up into the Subaru. I figured they were still at Doc's for now, if not Doc would surely know where they were. On my way to McGinty's I stopped at a donut shop and got some turnovers and donuts. Everyone loves this stuff, right? I was scraping my nails against the steering wheel. I was wound up tighter than a banjo string. Lord, please help me. I asked from above silently. when the old pub came into view, I was happy and scared to see the rusted Bug parked on the road. I eased the Subie behind the rust bucket and shut the car off. I took a deep breath and chewed my lip. C'mon, I can do this. The hard part was already over, kinda.

Swiftly, I opened the car door and got out. I set the keys on top of the donuts box as I pulled it out and kicked the door shut with my foot. After a few little adjustments, I balanced the box in my arms with my cigarettes, wallet and lighter on top of it. My feet carried me to the front door and I tried the knob, again it was unlocked. Deep breath. I twisted it open and stepped inside. Most of the lights were off and the windows were open, letting in sun light. I could see the dust bunnies floating around. It looked so different during the day than what it did by night. The bell attached to the door gave me away, I nearly jumped. A familiar 'FUCK ASS' came from the kitchen. I sighed and walked up to the bar, meeting Doc half way.

"Lass.." He greeted me, hugging me and eyeing the box in my hands. I gave him a guilty smile, trying to seem sure and apologetic.

"Thought I'd bring some food..." I started and shook the box. "Turnovers and Boston Cream." The old man, in a dirty tee shirt he used to clean in, twisted his lips and eventually gave me a nod.

"Aye. Ye alrigh'?" He was worried about me, God bless him. I nodded and kissed his cheek, thankful he hadn't disowned me for discharging my weapon in his pub.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Listen, about the other night...I'm sorry Doc. Didn't mean to scare ya..." I had meant to say more, but the old man hushed me and hugged me fiercely.

"N-not mad at ye, girl. Was jus' surprised. SHIT! Kina hada feelin' it was comin' to em. I'm not happy wit' em either...but I love em, too." I nodded and let him let me go. Doc smiled, ending the sweet moment with a prompt, "SHIT!" I grinned and had to allow myself a laugh, trying to shake the nerves off. "T'ey'r in te room. Bastards'r still sleepin, got some coffee goin'. Tat'll wake em up." I followed him under the counter and went into the kitchen. He parted from me, giving me some privacy to do what I needed to do. I only had to wait a short minuet for the coffee to get done. Quickly with an old familiarity, I grabbed three cups for coffee and filled them. I didn't know what the new guy, Romeo, liked in his but I am sure he would be just fine with black. If not, tough shit.

I set the cups on a serving platter and grabbed a plate, stacking donuts and turnovers on it. I added a handful of napkins before setting off towards the speakeasy room. The door was cracked open. I licked my lips and took the toe of my right boot to quietly push it open. It was dark inside, except for the light coming in through the filthy windows. The yellowed light created a certain ambiance, made this feel soft somehow. I sighed, seeing Connor passed out across the pool table and Murphy on a broken down couch. Romeo was in an arm-chair, head cocked to the side and making an obnoxious snorting sound. I squished my face up. They were all fully clothed, black jackets tossed over one of the old bar stools. I found the free stool, quietly picking it up and setting the tray on it. Deep breaths, stay calm.

I made sure it was well out of danger in case I startled them, or myself. I shook my head, finding the courage to speak up. Oh come on! Now you get cold feet? I mentally yelled at myself. I'd proven I could kick their asses, so why was I so torn up now? Because, I was about to be vulnerable. They could reject me, reject the chance to come together again...even if it's just as friends. Not only had they been the loves of my life, but my best friends. My first real friends. Well, here goes nothing..

"Connor? Murphy?" I said in a quieter tone, really unsure. I swallowed, chewing my lip. They didn't move a muscle. I remember how I used to wake them up, kissing their shoulders and faces...couldn't do that now though. My stomach knotted. I walked to the stool and grabbed two mugs of coffee. I went to Connor first. "Connor?" I said softly, sounding more unsure than what I was comfortable with. Still nothing. I groaned. Damnit! I brought the coffee up close to his face and blew the steam under his nose. "Connor, wake up darlin.." It rolled off my tongue as it had five years ago. immediately his eyes shot open and looked up at me. He'd jerked a little, blinking and trying to decide what was going on. I stepped back some, holding out a cup of coffee. "Mornin', brought you some coffee and donuts." The dark blonde twin was still in shock for a moment, before slowly sitting up and running his hand through his hair.

"'Melia?" He asked, unsure and suspicious. I nodded and set the cup of coffee in his hand. I took note of the swollen lump on his jaw. Shit! I had gotten him good. Tendrils of guilt wove itself through me and I frowned. I set Murphy's cup of coffee down beside Connor and motioned for him to lean towards me. I needed to see what I'd done. He just sat still, staring at me as if I had grown a second head. Couldn't blame him. One minuet I was threatening him, the next I was waking him up with coffee and pastries. But something that hadn't changed was my need to tend to their wounds. I huffed and reached forward, grasping his chin firmly. I was careful not to touch the lump as I turned his head to my left to see the bruise. I didn't wince dramatically, just felt the frown on my face deepen. Connor's whole body was wound tight. I softened my hand and let him go. Our eyes met and I seen the confusion dissolve to something I didn't recognize.

"Connor..." I said, feeling the weight of the years passed and the memories of before settle on me. What do I say right now? I'm sorry? I missed you? Please forgive my insanity? "I'm sorry. I mean, I'm not sorry...but I am." I dropped my eyes from his and looked at the steam coming up off his coffee. I didn't expect forgiveness, but I'd hoped he would. They both would find it in them to see it from my perspective, if they haven't already. My eyes came back to him when he set the coffee down and hung his legs off the side of the pool table. Those damn boots, same ones he'd wore before. He took a deep breath and pushed his sleeves up, my eyes trailed over the tattoos which seemed like a myth after all this time. They were still beautiful, just a little more weathered.

"I wanna hug ye, but ye kina threatened ta shoot us if'n we ever touched ye again." The sheepish confession took me off guard. I blinked and felt surprised. He wanted to hug me? I shook my head and felt my eyes moisten. I could never shoot them, punch them and rough them up sure, but never shoot them. I wanted to speak but I never got the chance, Connor yanked me to him so fast I nearly lost my breath. I felt his muscular arms wrap around me and one of his hands wound itself into the back of my hair. The sudden move made me tense up, but the familiar scent filling my lungs eased me. God, he still smelled the same. Coffee and cologne, a touch of whiskey. I carefully wound my arms around his middle and felt the girl in me come to the surface. Her tears were filling my eyes, her hands fisting Connor's shirt. Jesus, I had missed him. I shuddered and felt him grip me tighter. After a tense moment, he eased up but only to re-adjust. I got on my tip toes to bury my face in his neck, letting the silent tears flow from me.

"God damn you, Connor." I mumbled, digging my fingers into his back as I held on. He nodded and inhaled sharply. I recognized that, he was crying too. "I'm sorry for what I said...I shouldn't have thrown Roc in your face..." I choked out, but he grunted and pushed me away so he could look me in the eyes.

"No, ye said everyt'ing we had comin'." His eyes were getting red and watery. I felt my heart jolt, seeing the sadness and regret in them. I touched his face slowly, re-committing it to memory. I took my thumbs and wiped his eyes. He leaned into my touch and shut his eyes before dropping his hands from my face to hold my wrists, kissing my palms. Those lips, still soft and warm. I gave him a small smile, almost regretful when he let mine go. "T'eres not enough apologies in te world to make up fer wha' Murph an' I did. But, I hope ye know we are sorry, lass." I took a deep shaky breath and wiped at my face.

"I know it now, really was for the best." I croaked out. "Just...I just hope we can start over." I confessed, wanting nothing more than to have them back in my life. I had grown up and I knew I didn't need them...but I wanted them. I wanted their smiles and laughs, the drunken bickering and the early morning hair. I just wanted them back. I felt a fresh wave of tears hitting me at the thought but I forced it down. His hands pulled me in again and he placed a gentle kiss to my forehead the same way he used to when I was 18. I took a deep breath and let the past five years go. I wouldn't forget it totally, but I would forgive it.

"Course we can, 'Melia. Don' ye ever t'ink we were happy for one minuet." His voice became hoarse and he cleared his throat. "Nearly kilt us, leavin' ye. We jus' knew it needed ta be done." I hugged him tightly and just kept nodding. He was right, I knew this. We stood in silence and I let him hold me for another few minuets before a particularly loud snore brought us out of our bubble. I grinned as I pulled away and wiped the water from under my eyes. "T'ink I should get our Mexican up, give ye an' Murph some space...man's been ready to keel ov'r since te o'ter night." I flushed, feeling bad for making them worried. Connor placed another kiss to my forehead and walked over to Romeo. The Irishman woke the snoring man up with a swift kick to the chair, startling him.

"What the fuck man?" He grumbled, wiping the crust out of his eyes before finally seeing me. He shot straight up and pointed to me. "What the fuck is she doin' here?" I took a deep breath and brought him over his cup of coffee and a donut. Romeo eyed me weird, before taking the coffee and sweet.

"I know your probably suspicious, but, I came to make amends. Shouldn'ta flown off the handle like that, Romeo. I'm sorry darlin." I gave him a small smile, and he shrugged. He opened his mouth to speak but Connor cut him off.

"Easy, lass. He don' like words that have 'spic' right in te middle of em." Almost instantly Romeo jumped up and told Connor to go fuck himself, me on the other hand, had to cover my mouth to stifle the laugh. How witty they were, sheesh. Connor gave me a small smile as he followed Romeo out and shut the door behind him. I clenched my jaw and cracked my neck, now it was time to wake up the other twin. As quietly as possible, I creeped over to the couch Murphy was stretched out on. He had on a tight black tee and his jeans, boots were in the floor. I felt my heart tug. His broad shoulders were angled with his back, leaving some room along the edge of the couch. Making amends with Connor had emboldened me, and Murphy was always the more sensitive one...

I kicked my boots off and carefully positioned myself on the edge of the couch, before stretching my legs out and nudging one between his. My heart was pounding in my chest. Once I got my legs taken care of, I snaked my hand around me and pulled his left arm over me. As if instinct kicked in, he tightened up and brought me in flush against him. My cheeks were heating up and I let out a shaky breath. He was still for a moment, before going to adjust and burying his face on the back of my neck...then Murphy started waking up. The arm around me loosened momentarily and his breath stopped. I didn't say anything, just remained still. Murph raised his head up and looked at me and our position on the couch.

"Mornin." I said quietly. He didn't speak, just looked at me from behind those sleepy stormy eyes of his. I swallowed the lump in my throat, barely shifting to better face him. I chewed my lip, watching him think and look around the room. After a moment he relaxed and laid his head back down, closing his eyes.

"T'is a dream?" He groaned, arms tightening around me. I couldn't help but grin.

"If it were, what would ya say to me?" I couldn't help myself, I felt the familiar prickle of tears in my eyes. Murphy kept his eyes closed, bringing his face closer to my neck and nuzzling in.

"I'd say 'm sorry. I love ye, and t'at please don' ever knee me ag'in..shit hurt." I sucked in a harsh breath and gave a laugh, my Murphy hadn't changed much at all. "But yer a dream, don' matter what's said, ye'll never know it." Then it hit me, he really did think he was asleep! I groaned and embraced him.

"Your not asleep Murph. I brought coffee and donuts. Surely you didn't get so drunk last night you're in a haze, hun?" My term of endearment made him jerk his head back and stare at me with wide eyes.

"AMELIA?" He barked out and I rolled my eyes, giving him a duh look.

"No, I'm your fairy god mother...yes it's me." I kept my voice soft and waited for his mind to catch up to his reality. And the moment it did I knew it because he sat up and landed on top of me. I was encased in Murphy Macmanus. He was quiet, but I felt his hot breath on my neck along with tears. "It's okay Murphy, I came to apologize for the other night." With a huff he pushed himself up so he could look me in the eyes. I seen the incredulous look on his face.

"No need ta apologize, we're bastards me an' Con fer what we did ta ye." His eyes were hard and I seen into the stormy depths. My stomach tightened. Just like Connor, the evidence of my Murphy laid just under the surface of this man. I sighed and wiped the tears from his face, letting my hands feel the warmth of his face. They were older, but they still had the same looks in their eyes. The same disposition. My heart fractured, how could I retain this anger when they look at me the way they do? I felt 18 again laying here under Murphy, sharing glances and air once more.

"I shouldn't have hit you guys. Shouldn't have mentioned Rocco..." My voice broke off, the pads of my thumbs running over his cheek bones. Murphy just gave me a nod, accepting what I said and not arguing about it. "Was just a lot to see you all here, laughing and carryin' on as if the past five years hadn't happened." I paused before continuing. "Won't happen again. I've already spoken with Connor. Me and hims good...just wanted to get good with you, too." The dark-haired twin gave another nod and eased himself back down, resting his head on my chest.

"I could nev'r hate ye, I was mad as hell...but...I'm proud of ye. Yer stronger than what ye was." I let out a breath and let my hand rest in his hair, feeling the comfort return between us. "Dunno wha's more hurt, me head'r my pride." I heard the smile in his voice and I snorted.

"Oh please, the Macmanus pride could never be wounded..." I lightly disagreed, but he looked up at me. The swirling blues in his eyes stopped my breath.

"When te woman ye've dreamed abou' fer five years kicks yer ass...wit so much hurt in'er eyes...it's more t'an pride t'at gets wounded." I chewed my bottom lip and he gave me a reassuring smile. "'M not mad at ye, just feel like we've wounded ye past te healin' point, love. T'ats all." His large hand rested on my hip, pushing my shirt up and rubbing gentle circles on the skin there. "When ye firs' came in, I'd been in shock. Ye look te same, but yer not..." I understood, that's how I felt about them.

"Same for me when I seen y'all." I felt the small rumble of a chuckle in his chest.

"Aye, but ye...ye look amazing. Ye were always gorgeous, but yer..." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Grown up. It's okay to say that. I thought I was grown up then, but I know now I wasn't. I've been through a lot, took a few to the chin...I'm still here." Murphy's hand stilled and he lifted up on his elbow, studying my face.

"Exactly, but yer still in t'ere. See it in yer eyes. But yer a stranger almos'...I wanna get te know t'is new gun totin' Detective Doyle." He rewarded with me a smile and I ignored his eyes as they traveled over my chest and lingered on my guns. "Ye look buff too. Jesus, ye workin' out too?" Now I did roll my eyes and we slowly got off the couch, slipping into our boots.

"Well yes, I do work out." I smiled and reached for him, happy to feel him step into me and wrap me up. "I missed you guys." I whispered. His hands traced light circles on my back while he took a moment to just have me close once more.

"Missed ye too. Dunno what it'll take...but I want ye back." He mumbled, going still. I felt his muscles tense up, he was worried. Of course he was. I was too, I didn't know where we'd end up after all this was over.

"We'll see, take it one day at a time darlin." That was the best I could say for now. Murphy sighed and kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger. I gently withdrew and handed him his coffee cup. "We'll have to sit down together with Con and catch up, but for right now...we got shit to do."

"Indeed, t'ink Romeo was wantin' ta go see his Uncle...said he'd know some shit." He took a sip and scratched his head. "Wort'a shot." Perhaps, I knew Eunice was trying to pull her own strings...I just hoped their plans coinsided with her's somehow even without them knowing...

"I reckon, how'd you get with him anyways?" I really wanted to know. "Can we trust him?" Something about what I said humored him, because he grinned and rubbed at his eyes some more.

"Seen 'em fightin on te ship we came in on...rough bastard..tough." Murphy took another sip and licked his lips, giving me that almost smoldering look he was capable of. "An yeah, we can trust 'em..." His words trailed off before he reached for my hand, and I took it. Murph squeezed and ran his thumb over my knuckles. "Sure t'is isa 'we' t'ing?" He was asking if I was back. Was I back? Was it us against the world and it's evils again? I took a deep breath and gave him a small smile, this was where I had been meant to be.

"Hell yeah."

****Red - Love Will Always Lave A Mark ****


	9. GImme Back My Bullets

**A/N: Sorry it took longer than usual to update. Sure y'all understand. Life happens.**  
**Hope you all enjoy this chapter and if I get a few 'plot' or 'movie' things wrong...forgive me.**  
**But I think you guys are awesome enough to overlook my flaws and roll with it, right?**  
**Hugs to you beautiful people! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS. **

_"Life is so strange when it's changin', yes indeed_  
_Well I've seen the hard times and the pressure's been on me_  
_But I keep on workin' like a workin' man do_  
_And I've got my act together, gonna walk all over you_

_Gimme back my bullets, put 'em back where they belong_  
_Ain't foolin' around 'cause I've done had my fun_  
_Ain't gonna see no more damage done_  
_Gimme back my bullets_

_Sweet talkin' people done ran me out of town_  
_I drank enough whiskey to float a battleship around_  
_I'm leavin' this game one step ahead of you_  
_And you will not hear me cry 'cause I do not sing the blues"_

Chapter 9 - Gimme Back My Bullets

I followed Murphy into the front of the bar, making sure to grab the plate of donuts and turnovers. I hadn't seen anyone grab one yet and I wanted them to get eaten. When we joined up with the group, Connor and Doc seemed to have lightened up some. Doc gave me a knowing look. I just gave him a small smile and popped down on a bar stool beside Romeo. He gave me a once over and took a turnover off the plate. I set the plate on the bar and took a deep breath.

"So, what's the next move?" I asked casually. The Mexican man turn towards me and waggled his finger at me.

"Gonna go see my Uncle." Then he looked towards the boys, seeming confused. "Is it safe to be telling her all this shit after she tossed you guys around like rag dolls the other night?" I scrunched my nose, the boys and myself would never live this down. Con and Murph rolled their eyes and huffed up.

"Aye, 'Melia di'nt toss us 'round...was jus' an Irish greetin' of sorts.." Murphy shot back, I grinned and rubbed my face. I tapped Romeo on his shoulder and drew his attention.

"To answer your question, yes. I am in this, too." His eye brows scrunched up and he took a bite of his turnover, getting some apple filling on his mustache.

"I gotta all but suck their dicks to get in on this, and you show up and wave a gun around and poof! You're in the Justice League now?" I grinned and looped my thumbs in my holsters, drawing his attention to them. I ignored the second his eyes lingered on my boobs.

"Darlin, I'm the same as them. We share the same...mission statement I reckon." I paused and looked towards the boys, they were watching me and chewing on donuts. Connor's eyes met mine and he gave me a slight nod to continue. "The only thing that's changed is I am more prepared this time'a round." Romeo still looked confused. I sighed, grabbing a turnover too. "All this shit got started five years ago. I was eighteen, I couldn't carry the weight of what God had given me yet. Well...as you know they left and I was here. I became a cop and grew up." The C Word must have freaked out the man.

"Cop! You're a cop? Jesus Christ!" He replied, and without skipping a beat the boys chimed in.

"Lord's name..." We five crossed ourselves and I continued on with my story.

"Yeah, I'm a cop. Well, Detective now. I've got my issues with this, trust me...but..." I trailed off and thought about what Eunice had told me in her car. "Our calling is above the laws of man. Sure I'm gonna do my job, but I took an oath to my badge. I just dunno how that's goin' to work out yet." Romeo took a minuet to ingest my words and he shrugged.

"Fuck it, I mean...you're one tough chica. Sure you can hang and bang." I snorted and the other's joined me. I stood and took a bite of my turnover.

"Ye 'ave no idea, Rome." Connor commented and I couldn't help but blush a little. I avoided the twins' eyes and focused back on Romeo. I liked him so far, very animated and free speaking. After a pregnant moment, Murphy cleared his throat.

"T'ink we should get goin'. Gotta lot ta get done." I nodded to them and wiped my hands off on a napkin. Romeo hopped up and grabbed his jean jacket.

"My Uncle will know where Yakavetta's got his street men, and where they usually hole up." He paused and looked at me with his dark eyes, smiling nervously. I didn't question it as he dug his keys out of his jeans and shook Doc's hand. "See ya later, Fuckass." We chuckled and gave the old barkeeper hugs and 'see you soon's'. When the sunlight hit my face I squinted. I seen them start piling into the rusted old Bug. I shivered, ugly fucking car. To not keep them waiting, I ran to the Subaru and grabbed my jacket and sunglasses. I locked it up and strode to the Bug.

Murphy and Connor hopped into the back to let me have shot gun. I shut the door and looked around. I withheld my comments, but the upside down bobble head Jesus on the roof between us did me in.

"Good God, Romeo." I mumbled, flicking the head and watching it bounce around. Romeo turned the key over and it hummed to life. It didn't sound like a clunker, but it sure as hell looked like it.

"Hey! These two leprechaun dicks already gave me shit about my baby, don' you go startin' too. I need an ally here, two against two. Makes it fair." Murphy and Connor snorted and Connor leaned up to pat the man on the side of his face.

"C'mon now, we gotta 'ave some fun...'sides, our girl 'ere wouldn't choose ye ov'r us." Connor sounded so sure of himself, so I chuckled and adjusted the sunglasses on my face as Romeo pulled out into the road.

"Don't get too cocky back there, I'm diggin' the mullet on ol' muchacho here.." I turned my head to flash the boys a grin. The twins shook their heads and I gave a reassuring pat to Romeo's arm.

"Fuck all three of you, okay?" He said in a humored way which told me he wasn't upset at all, just liked to act like it. Yeah, I like Romeo. I think he was starting to kind of like me too, he'd occasionally glance over at me. The twins were mostly quiet, only saying a few little things here and there. All and all, the silence was comfortable. It only took us about 20 minuets to get to the Silver Peco. It was an older establishment, but it looked decent enough. We all climbed out of the car and I stretched. That damn Bug was a tight squeeze. As the boys fixed themselves to be presentable, Murphy walked over and shoulder bumped me. I bumped back and allowed him to reach down a squeeze my hand for a moment. Almost as soon as his hand had touched mine, it was gone.

Connor also gave me a nudge and I grinned. They were like boys trying to compete once again. I wanted to playfully kick his leg but the sudden chirping from my jackey pocket startled it. I flushed as they all stopped at the door and turned to face me. I dig out the cell and sighed to see it was Tristan. I groaned.

"Gotta take this, go on ahead." I motioned to them, quickly pressing the 'talk' button on the screen.

"Doyle here." I answered, already with a headache knowing it was hard telling what he'd yell at me.

"Well it's about fuckin' time! Is everythin' okay? You haven't been answering your phone or callin' me back!" I moved my thumb to turn the volume down. Behind me I heard the door swing open and shut, then a boot scuffle. I rotated myself around and seen Connor lighting a cigarette, voluntarily waiting on me. Damnit.

"Well, I have been busy...I am still busy Sommerfeld. Can I call you back here afterwhile?" I asked, not bother trying to hide my frustration as I turned my back towards Connor again. His blue eyes were studying me hard, I knew he was trying to make heads and tails of my phone conversation.

"Fuck no, I got some important shit to talk to ya about." I grunted in submission and decided to join Connor in the idea of a smoke.

"M'kay, shoot." I stated as I dug into my other jacket pocket for my smokes and lighter.

"Alrighty, well this Edwards' case has hit the fan. The dear old Daddy decided to try to kill himself in holding so..." I paused before I lit my cigarette, immediate anger hitting me.

"Don't you fucking tell me they are giving him the chance at insanity!" My voice was harsh and Tristan made that 'mhm' sound. "Lord in heaven! I have worked my ass on on that case!" My voice rose, not bothering to care if anyone walking past heard me. I turned back towards Connor as I leaned against Romeo's car.

"Yeah, the lawyers and newspapers are having a field day about this shit. The son, Jeremy, is ready to buck up and just shoot his Dad..." I heard the sounds of papers being flipped and scattered. I bet he was making a mess of my office.

"Sure nobody would blink if that fucker got one to the head.." I grumbled and inhaled on my cigarette. Tristan made a snarky sound.

"No shit, speaking of one to the head...have you found out anything about the priest? Seen where it had been confirmed those Saint's guys didn't do it. And I also seen about that warehouse shooting, which had been confirmed to be them." My eyes found Connor, he was moving closer to me. My mouth went dry and I took a deep breath.

"Yeah, it's got everyone here in an uproar. Been talkin' to a few local Detectives, knew 'em from my Dad's case." My voice was flat, so I tried adding more of my usual self into it. "Their all pretty sure they will get those guys this time, but...I dunno if I'd want them caught." Connor's eyes bored into me and I felt my stomach going in to knots. I mouthed to him 'it's okay.'

"I bet, so..." Tristan started. "When ya coming home, Amelia?" I had dreaded this question, hence ignoring his calls.

"When my two weeks vacay is up, I reckon. Was goin' to help out around here, help them hit the pavement until then." I took another hit and flicked the cigarette. "Listen, I'm about to go get Michael...can I call you back later?" Lies, all lies.

"Sure, uh, before you go how do you want me to handle this case?"

"Best way you can, I reckon. Just make sure that fucker's lawyers have to fight tooth an' nail to get him off on that bullshit..." Connor was looking at me, slightly humored at my colorful words. I narrowed my eyes at him briefly. He don't get it.

"10-4, I reckon I'll be waitin' on your call. Miss ya Amelia." There was a tone to his voice where he was trying to be a little flirty, but I didn't acknowledge it.

"Alrighty then, talk to you later." I ended the call and shoved my phone back into my jacket. As soon as my hands were free I groaned and rubbed my face. The Irishman gave me some time to have a moment, withholding all snickers and jabs until after I kicked the tire on the Bug.

"Ye'alrigh' lass?" Did I look alright? Uh, no. I pushed the sunglasses up into my hair and shook my head.

"Hell no, a case I was workin' on just might get tossed out the window because the fucker decided to play up to insanity." Damn, I was so pissed. I took another second before getting my head back on straight.

"Aye, well...sorry ta hear t'at." I gave Con a small smile and looped my arm in with his. We came to the door and he paused before opening the door. "Was t'at yer partner?" Shit.

"Uh, used to be. Sommerfeld is more like a colleague now, he's handlin' the case for me while I'm here. He's a good friend." The moment the words left my mouth, I felt the arm looped with mine tense for a second.

"Ah." Connor swung the door open and we rushed to join the others. I was relieved that conversation has been diverted for now, but I am sure it will be brought up again soon. The men were talking and I sat back, trying to pay attention. I couldn't though, what would I tell them? I mean yeah, they have no right to be upset with me but... They had been gone, I had went years without anyone. Tristan wasn't my boyfriend, we just had occasion and platonic sex. No strings in our friendship. Well, there wasn't a string until he told me he wanted to take me out after I got home. My eyes lingered on the brothers to my side, they were focused and in full game mode. They were also speaking Spanish. A small tendril of guilt weaved it's way into my chest, even though I haven't done anything wrong I know they are going to be...disappointed?

I'm sure they couldn't say they haven't slept with any women in Ireland. I mean, they are human and alive. They have needs, just like I do. And they are so handsome, sure they had their fun. The thought of other women touching them made my skin crawl and a flair of jealousy streak through me. I am not going to deny the fact I hated the thought, but I wouldn't blame them for it if they did. If? I know they did. Had to, right? I sat forward and rested my elbows on my knees while I rubbed my face some more. I felt my guns sitting weird under my arms and adjusted, looking up to see the men looking at me. I flushed, having not realized they were no longer talking.

"Did ye hear us?" Murphy asked and I shook my head.

"No sorry, got flustered by that phone call. Howdy, I'm Amelia." I said as I stood and reached across the table to shake Romeo's Uncle's hand. He took mine and kissed my knuckles, before letting go. I gave him a small smile and sat back down. He nodded back and got back into the conversation with the boys. Damn them and their Spanish. When business was wrapped up and he told us in English where Gorgeous George would be at today, I felt the itch settle into my brain. It was time to get to work. Our four man army made our way back to the Bug and we crammed back inside.

"He was nice." I said as I pulled my belt on as Romeo pulled the car out. He agreed with me, but remained silent. I seen he looked awfully tense.

"Aye, t'at 'e was." Connor chimed in. I glanced back at them before rolling down a window to light another smoke. "We 'priciate 'is help." I grunted in agreement as I exhaled and the car grew comfortably quiet. I was watching the buildings pass us when I heard a distinct sniffle. Slowly, I looked over to Romeo and sure enough...his face was screwed up and he was trying to get a hold of himself. I had to do a double take when I seen the man's eyes watering. Why in the hell was the man crying?

"Are..." I went to ask him if he was okay, but Murphy cleared his throat and interrupted me.

"So uh, ant'y body hung'ry? Maybe we could stop ata Ihop..." I sat there in silence and listened as his twin then interrupted him.

"SHUDDAP!" There was a heartbeat's pause. "Romeo's cryin!" Instantly I pursed my lips and then all at once, we three started laughing. Romeo rolled his eyes and told us to go fuck ourselves. I had to wipe my face. In good nature I reached over and patted the Mexican on his shoulder.

"Bless your heart, Rome." The man rolled his eyes and he came to a red light. I let the last lingering giggles slowly wear off as I took a deep breath and looked into the rear view mirror. Connor's blue eyes were still shining mischievously. His face was turned towards the window and he looked so handsome. I felt my chest tighten some, I remembered how he used to look in the early morning light. The memory was lovely and painful. As if my inner conflicting thoughts had reached out and touched him, his eyes snapped to the reflection in the mirror and I felt my cheeks heat. I held his gaze for a moment before I scratched my head for no reason, looking away. I adjusted in the passenger side seat and felt something warm touch the back of my neck.

I turned to see the hand with 'aequitas' tattooed on it. Murphy gave me a small affectionate caress and my lips bent up into a grin. I lifted my hand to his for a moment and let my fingers deftly brush over his. It must have been enough because after that he withdrew his hand.

"Gotta get to da tannin' salon." Connor spoke up, after he checked his watch. "T'eres a Gorgeous George waitin' on us."

* * *

"Y'all sure this is a good idea?" I asked the three men as Romeo was putting on his white cooks outfit. All at once they grinned and Murphy's dark blue eyes seemed to challenge me.

"Aye, all te street boys'a Yakavetta will be 'ere...migh' be our only chance ta get em all at once." This was true, but there was a lot of fire power out there. We were in the kitchen at the Silver Peco. Needless to say I wasn't too happy with the situation, but it was only because of the cop in me. Otherwise, this was brilliant.

"Gonna be like shootin' fish in a barrel I reckon." I double checked my 1911's, making sure the straps of leather holding them in were un-snapped so I wouldn't get held back when it came time to unleash hell on those guys. It had gotten quiet between the Irish men. I looked up and Connor was covering his face.

"Gonna needta get ye a proverb book too, lass." Murphy joined in and I just rolled my eyes.

"That is actually an honest sayin' back home so you both can go fuck yourselves. So where am I goin' again?" I asked them, making sure my hair was secured on top of my head in a bun. They looked between themselves and Romeo grabbed another cook's top.

"Gonna help me pour beers and keep their chips and salsa filled." He seemed not worried about the idea and quite frankly I didn't care what I got to do. I grunted an okay and quickly worked my holsters off. Connor and Murphy were eyeing me and I could see the argument brewing in their minds. Before they got a chance to speak, I shook my head.

"Dont. I'm good, I got this guys. I've been in tighter situations." My voice was stern and I grabbed the hem of my overly large tank. Without much thought I pulled it off and turned around to go hang it on the coat rack in the kitchen. I knew I was decently covered, besides the leggings and sports bra was more than I worked out in. With everything going through my mind with about what was going to be shortly going down, I didn't really think about what I was doing.

"Cac naofa! (_Holy shit!_)" Connor hissed. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Well damn. "What te hell happened to ye?" Oh yeah...I licked my lips before stilling and looking over my shoulder. All three sets of eyes were glued to my back where my rather large scar was. I let out a huff and shrugged, turning my back to them as I faced them. "Amelia?" Connor pushed, setting his guns down to walk up to me and turning me so he could get a closer look. My aggravation flared up.

"We got a lil' more inportant things to worry about right now." I tried not to sound too pissy, but they didn't care. Connor's face was set in a serious scowl, Murphy's was set to match. "C'mon guys.." I griped, walking towards my holsters beside where Conor had laid his guns.

"Cad é an ifreann a tharla?(_What the hell happened?_)" Murphy asked me in Gaelic. I groaned and went still again. I took fast steps towards the kitchen doors, seeing a few men piling in. I tilted my head towards the bar area outside.

"Romeo, I'll be out in a minuet." It was my subtle way of saying I need to have a talk with the twins alone. He nodded and fixed his dew rag before heading out and greeting the men. Once the doors were shut and I knew we couldn't be heard, I turned my eyes back onto the boys. "I was under cover and sneakin' around a crack den. Was lookin' for any signs of use ir paraphernalia around the dumpsters...a guy had seen me and just thought I was being nosey. He was all geeked up and he got froggy." The two older men looked beside themselves and angry. "Stuck me pretty good, had 22 stitches and was on medical leave for a month and a half...obviously I am okay." Once again I grabbed my guns and slipped them on before shrugging into the white thick cook's shirt. Murphy was the first to speak.

"Hope 'e got fair time.." He hissed, making eye contact with his brother before looking back to me. For some reason their anger pissed me off. I didn't want to argue with them anymore, but I wasn't the old me anymore.

"Are you guy's seriously all bent outta shape about this?" Without hesitation, they nodded. I threw my hands up in the air dramatically before trying to rush and button up my shirt. "Jesus you two! I mean, it's apart of my job! Ya know, that thing I did to become a productive member of society? I mean from that letter, Noah told me to make a life for myself." I bit it off, ignoring the shiver that seemed to pass through them. With a quick thought, I left the top few buttons undone. It would serve as a distraction to the men at the bar, keep their eyes away from the kitchen.

"We din' mean fer ye to go puttin' yerself in danger!" Connor growled at me. I couldn't help but chuckle and roll my eyes.

"Oh please, save it. I made myself happy and last time I checked you weren't ina position at the time to have any influence over my decisions. Y'all gave that up when ya ran off without me. So, lets get the fuck over it and focus on killin those assholes out there, kay? Go team!" I ended that with a sarcastic peppy voice and gave them both a firm smack on the ass at the same time. Once again, the Macmanus brother's were stunned into silence. I got my shit together for a second before I joined Romeo behind the bar. I made sure to smile and wink a lot, the gathering crowd of men seemed to like that. Romeo was running back and forth, making food and giving me things to do. It was exhausting, after an hour the last guy showed up and I excused myself to the kitchen for the first time since I'd came out.

I found the twins grinning as Connor painted a message on Gorgeous George's back. It was truly a sight. The man was taped to a metal cart still in his shit stained pink 'European Cut' speedo we'd found him in at the tanning salon. He had literally been scared shitless. All and all, Gorgeous George was an idiot...but he had likable qualities. I walked around to read his back, grinning and patting Connor on the back.

"Nice choice of words, poetic." He didn't look at me, but he was smiling as he nodded and cast the basting brush aside.

"Aye, t'ink so to." The wins did another check on their guns and Romeo took a deep breath, holding out his hand to Murphy...looking all kinds of ready.

"Alright man, gimme my fuckin' pea shooter!" I stood by, watching the exchange and remembering what Greenly and Eunice had told me. I snorted and covered my mouth. Fuckin' .22. Murphy shook his head and extended one of his pistols.

"Nah Rome, ye earned yer fuckin' badge. 'Ere ye go." He tossed the gun to him and Romeo caught it. The Mexican eyed the black pistol lovingly, getting that emotional look back to his face. Murphy snapped his fingers and pointed to him. "Aye! Tighten it up!" Me and Connor shared a look of amusement before Romeo nodded, and strode outside confidently.

"Holy shit, that man's really emotional huh?" I quipped before I followed him out, hearing the grunts of agreement from inside the kitchen. All of Yakavetta's men where here and they had started talking among themselves. I started clearing away empty beer glasses, occasionally casting glances to Rome. He signaled me to prepare myself right before there was a loud noise. I looked over and seen the fat man on the cart slow down to a stop, drawing the attention of the men.

"George?" One of them asked, before him and a few others got up from their seats to read his back. I braced myself, feeling the pounding in my head face to subtle thunder. My heart beat started escalating and I licked my lips, shoot a nod to Romeo. My hands rested on the butts of my 1911's. "Erin Go Braugh? What the fuck does that mean?" The same guy asked as he read off the message in green on George's back. I grinned.

"It's Irish...for yer fucked!" Murphy shouted and my shifted to his. There he and Connor were, guns drawn. That's our que. With a practiced swiftness, I drew my pistols and we all started firing at once. My ears rang as the gunshots filled my ears and reverberated through my body. I didn't even care where I was so much aiming on the men, as long as it was chest cavity I was happy. In the 30 seconds it took to mow the men down, it was hard to tell who hit who. End of the day though, it really don't matter. After the last gun shot rang out, I took a deep breath and eased the slides up on my pistols. I'd went through a full clip on both? Damn. My eyes winced as my ears rang, but I wasn't deaf enough not to catch Romeo's little moment of joy.

"La Viva Mexico bitches! Ahhhh ha aaayyeee!" Despite myself, I had to grin. Not feeling like jumping the bar, I walked around and started unbuttoning the rest of the cooks shirt. I stood next to the boys as they watched George scramble to his feet, still stuck to the cart. He looked around at all the dead men and then to us, hands in his hair. I couldn't help but smile and bump elbows with Murphy.

"Am I free to go?" George asked, looking scared as hell. Connor and Murphy shared a look between them. The dark blonde took out the snub nosed revolver I didn't know he had, emptying it off all bullets except one. I watched on quietly, wondering what he was up to. My eyes picked up on his rotating cylinder to there the bullet was offset from the firing pin.

"T'ink we should allow te Lord to decide yer fate ol' Georgie." Without hesitation he rose the gun to George's forehead. I had to fight the smile on my face, Murphy was havin' a harder time than myself. "I hope yer righ' with the Lord, boy..." Connor said with a 'country accent' I could only describe as very good. With a click of the firing pin hitting nothing, George nearly fell over with relief. "Well lookit t'at! It's a MIRACLE!" Connor proclaimed, throwing his arms up. I lost it, bending over at the sight of George stumbling out of the room...cussing and crossing himself.

"T'at was one of ta finest examples of spiritual guidance I've ever had te good fortune to witness." Murphy grinned, crossing himself. I chuckled and nodded along with him, crossing myself as well.

"I think that worked out well, hot damn." I spoke, looking around at the damage. There was bodies everywhere and blood all over the place. Forensics would have a field day with this.

"Hell yeah!" Romeo was still trying to come down off the adrenaline rush, then to all our surprise a gunshot startled us all. I flinched and drew one of my guns with my right hand, looking forward the origin of the shot. A second later, three more back to back sounded out and we all hunkered down low on the floor. I swiveled around and heard the clack of heels. I then also realized Romeo had taken off out the door with the shotgun. "He's gone!" He shouted back to us as he turned around and came back to us, eyes looking on the wild side.

"What te fuck was t'at?" Connor asked excitedly, blinking and trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. At that time I seen Eunice walking in, seeming unphased by the situation.

"I'd wager that was the shooter you have been looking for." Her rich southern drawl sliced through the air and Murphy and Connor turned to face her, weapons drawn. I flinched before lowering my weapon.

"Who te fuck'r you?" Murphy asked her. Quickly she set down her gun and held her hands up. This would be interesting.

"Name's Eunice Bloom. The torch was passed to me by a mutual friend, Paul Maximilian Fuckin' Smecker. I am a FBI agent controlling this investigation from within in order to ensure you gentlemen...and lady...never see the inside of a prison cell. Now I am conspiring with three like minded individuals who have aided you in the past though I have yet to inform them of my agenda..." She paused briefly, grinning and pride in her eyes. "Because well, a girls got to have her fun." Eunice grinned and slowly the boys put down their weapons. I took a deep breath and shook my head. I was getting too old for this shit.

"Dolly, Duffy and Greenly?" Murph asked the lady, she smiled and found me. She gave me a nod and replied to Murphy.

"The very same."

"How're the lads?" Connor asked her, reaching up to scratch the back of his head.

"Two of them are scared. One's just horny." Bloom was right about that.

"Bet'cha I can guess which.." Murphy humored her and she waggled her finger at us.

"Bet you can, but for right now..." I followed all her movements and cringed when she pointed to bodies on the floor. "This won't due..." Well damn. Guess forensics were going to have their work cut out for them now. So for the next couple of hours we cleaned, rearranged and obstructed evidence to make it seem as if this had been a turf disagreement between Yakavetta's men. I didn't say much to Bloom until she pulled me away from my job of using a baster to splatter blood against the counter. I pulled my gloves off and stood, following her to one of the booths. I was careful not to touch anything else.

"How's everything going with them?" She asked me, voice low. I shrugged and licked my lips, hooking my thumbs into my holster.

"Bout as well as I'd hoped it would go. It'sa work in progress." I gave her a small grin, watching the boys tip toeing around the rearranged bodies. "It'll be a while before, ya know." The older woman took a deep breath and patted my back.

"It'll get back to the way it was, but I can tell that this had went better than I'd thought it would..." I gave her a chuckle and shoulder bumped her.

"You're a fuckin' genius, ya know that right?" I was dead serious, the woman had orchestrated this without the boy's even knowing it. The strawberry blonde gave a proud grin and narrowed her eyes at the scene.

"I told the boys at the station I was so fuckin' smart I made smart people feel retarded... I take it you didn't tell them about our little talk the other night?" My cheeks reddened some after the good laugh she gave me and I grinned. Romeo had over heard us and he stopped wiping one of the guns off.

"Little talk?" He asked defensively, waggling the empty weapon at us. I smirked and tilted my head to Bloom.

"I'm not the only girl who's been having fun." Bloom said, not bothering to keep her voice down. Connor and Murphy stood up too, huffing. I winked at them and stretched my arms above me, feeling my stomach stretching out and my barely there abs flexed. I seen the three men's eyes shift to my midriff and I rolled my eyes.

"Keepin' sec'rets now, love?" Connor asked me, blue eyes finally looking up to meet mine. That familiar challenging flame behind them. I played it off nonchalantly.

"We had coffee." My reply was short and Bloom smiled at them. I took the white cooks shirt off and went to the kitchen to grab my tank. Once I was done, I rejoined the group and Bloom was telling them about we needed to get outta dodge so she could call this in. We also made plans to meet up with her and three detective wonders at McGinty's for a reunion or sorts. Before we left, I gave the woman a hug. I liked the blonde, she was fiery and I could also see what Smecker had seen in her too.

** **Lynard Skynard - Gimme Back My Bullets****


	10. Dont Deserve You

**A/N: Yay! Filler chapter time! Sorry my updates haven't been as frequent, got a lot of**  
**stuff going on. Hope y'all enjoy this update and I am pleased to see this story has a few new followers.**  
**Hello new folks! *waves like an idiot* Welcome to the family! :P Hope you all are well**  
**and please keep the feed back comin'!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS. **

_"You're the first face that I see_  
_And the last thing I think about_  
_You're the reason that I'm alive_  
_You're what I can't live without_  
_You're what I can't live without_

_You never give up_  
_When I'm falling apart_  
_Your arms are always open wide_  
_And you're quick to forgive_  
_When I make a mistake_  
_You love me in the blink of an eye_

_I don't deserve your love_  
_But you give it to me anyway_  
_Can't get enough_  
_You're everything I need_  
_And when I walk away_  
_You take off running and come right after me_  
_It's what you do_  
_And I don't deserve you"_

Chapter 10 - Don't Deserve You

After a quick call to Michael to make sure he was doing alright, and to assure him I was doing alright...I headed back inside to McGinty's. Bloom and the Wonder Three are inside having drinks with the boys and Romeo. Doc had left me a key and told me to lock up whenever we left or got in. I didn't bother locking up behind me as I went in though, tonight would be a stupid night to try anything. An FBI agent, three of Boston's finest, the Saints, a trigger happy Mexican and a Redneck are all sitting in a bar...I grinned to myself as I rejoined the group. That sounded like the start to a bad joke. They greeted me back and I sat down beside Greenly and smiled.

"Feel better?" I asked, the older man nodded and chuckled.

"Fuck yes! I was ready to shit myself. Glad we're back on the same team again though...shit!" I nodded and gave him a one armed hug. These three were good guys. You could tell they were best friends and had each other's backs. Plus, they've always had our backs.

"Good. But it was fun seein' the three of you's freaked out. I was at first until Bloom showed up and took me out for coffee." Dolly and Duffy averted their attention to me and made faces, but kept the smile on their faces.

"Yeah well, glad we know now. I was hearin' cell doors shut and Bubba callin' my name.." Dolly spoke before shivering and getting a heaping gulp of his beer. I grinned and leaned back to pat the middle man on the back. Duffy had started to say something but I heard Bloom ask the boys if they'd walk her to the door. I turned on the stool to face them and she gave me a friendly wave, signalling her goodnight. I nodded my head in her direction to reply. It wasn't much longer after that when Greenly, Dolly and Duffy left too. I looked at the clock, it was almost 2 am. I groaned and slumped, I wasn't ready to call it a night yet but I was feeling the early signs of being exhausted.

The boys locked the bar up and I could see they were having one of those weird silences. They would glance at one another and one would shrug or not...lips unmoving. I grinned, finding it funny how it still gave me goosebumps to see the twins being twins. Connor walked over to me and sat down, Murphy jostled Romeo and whispered how he was going to make sure the man didn't fall into the floor drunk. Me and the dark blonde watched at Murphy helped the newest member of the group get to the back of the bar. Then it was silent.

"How're ye doin'?" Con asked me, reaching for my hand. I sighed and let him take it. His warm hands were soothing against my smaller ones.

"I'm alright. Just gettin' a little tired. Takes a lot outta ya to kill a bunch of people." My voice didn't sound as humored as I had intended it to. Wasn't so much the killing part, that part was pretty easy. It had been the cleaning up and creating a new crime scene that had been exhausting. I gave him a crooked smile to try to make up for my tone, but the wheels were already spinning in Connor's head.

"Yer righ'. Ye know we're happy yer 'ere right? But, if ye don' wanna part in t'is...yer welcome ta go. Ye got no obligation ta us." His hand squeezed mine tighter as he looked down at it, almost as if he had just exposed a vulnerable side to himself. I squeezed back and let out a breath.

"I know I don't own y'all anythin'. Sure, this isn't what I'd hoped to be doing again but I am happy to do it. What I was brought here for, and you know me..." I paused, shaking his hand gently to get his eyes to turn up to mine. "Can't stay away from crazy fuckin' Irishmen." It took a minuet as he searched my face for any uncertainties. I held his gaze and finally he grinned, bringing my knuckles up to his mouth so he could place one of those sweet pecks there.

"I leave ye alone w'it 'er fer two minuets and yer already tryin' ta weasel in." Murphy called from the kitchen as he came out and had a grin on his face. I gave out a chuckle and Connor released my hand so he could stretch his arms up, uh huh, I'm not the only tired one. Murphy seemed to have a bit more energy as he plopped down on the bar stool behind me and leaned forward, hugging me rapturously. I felt my cheeks flame and Connor rolled his eyes.

"Look'it t'is! Yer accusin' me of try'na weasel when yer all over te poor lass!" Connor reached for my hand in a playful attempt to save me, and I even reached out but Murphy grunted and lifted me up. I yelped as he swung me up into his arms and made to leave Connor at the bar.

"Got'che!" Murphy said proudly, trying not to drop me as I wiggled and could not stop laughing. It had been years since I had been help up like this.

"Don' ye do it, Murph. I'm warnin' ya..." Connor said, humored and feigning seriousness. I gave the dark-haired twin a curious look, he just smirked.

"Do what?" I asked, gripping onto him tightly. I never got an answer, instead he lifted me up and threw me over his shoulder. I squealed and then gasped as his hand landed a loud and stinging smack right to my ass. I grunted and began kicking my legs, hearing the two laugh. The sound was music to my ears, been so long since Id heard them so in sync together. After a second, Murphy let me down and gave me a hug. I grinned and wrapped my arms around his middle.

"You're a real shit, ya know that?" I asked, and true to Murphy nature he grinned and kissed the top of my head before letting me go. With a deep breath I took my seat back again on the barstool between them. Connor poured three glasses of whiskey and set them in front of us.

"Alrigh' ye two, t'ink we should take some time te talk...eh?" He asked, never losing the smile on his face. I really wasn't looking forward to this, but it needed to be done. Murphy rose his glass in agreement as he sipped the dark liquid in the glass. I sighed and sipped mine, before taking the holsters off and setting my weapons on the bar...out of reach.

"Yeah, 'spose we should. Who wants to start?" I said, staring at the lip prints on my glass. The boys were quiet for a moment and Connor cleared his throat.

"Ye wanna start? Ours is pr'ty borin' really..." I gave him a look saying I doubted that was true. Con shook his head and motioned to his twin. "Serious lass, t'only t'ing we ever did was farm an' go te church. Drank'r fair share'o beer, but t'ats abou' it." I studied him before turning to Murph, he too was so serious it was sobering.

"Seriously? No killin bad guys in Ireland? Nothing?" I asked, slightly beside myself with shock.

"Aye, te only t'ing we ever did was lookit sheep all day. Oh! We had amazin' beards. Looked like Jesus we did." Murphy spoke up and I let my mouth hang open. Beards?

"Long hair too?" I was most joking until they both nodded and started showing me with their hands how long it had been. I giggled and rolled my eyes. "I just can't imagine it, though." And I really couldn't. I'd never seen them with more than a day or two stubble. Then the hard questions started coming to mind. I licked my lips and tried to think of a gentle way to put it. "What about a girlfriend?" My voice went to the softer serious tones I was capable of, I usually spoke like this when I was questioning a witness. Their smiles faded but not completely from their eyes, well from Connor's it was mostly gone. Where he'd asked me about Tristan he probably had a good idea about where this was going to go. Murphy looked unphased mostly.

"T'ere was jus' one time in a pub af'er about 3 years bein' home..." The dark twin openly offered up. "Dunno 'bout Con, but fer me it was once. Jus'a one nigh' t'ing." I made an 'oh' face. I kept myself neutral on the outside but despite everything I'd done in the past 5 years...it still hurt to imagine. I touched Murphy's arm in a silent thank you for his honesty. He covered my hand with his and it helped the turning in my belly. Then slowly I shifted my eyes to the other Macmanus, he was looking down at his feet propped up on the bar stool.

"Connor?" I asked gently, praying he'd had matched his brother's experience. But instead he shrugged and poured us some more whiskey. That bad feeling started creeping over me. Murphy still had his hand over mine, I'm sure he could sense the tension.

"I coulda wit' a redhead from te shop, gave me 'er number an' everyt'ing..." Connor cleared his throat and took a pull of his whiskey. "Nev'r could do it." My stomach wrenched. For a second my face must have shown my surprise because Connor's cheeks took on a little more color than usual. His shoulders went tense, jaw tightened. There was a silence before he motioned to me. "Yer turn, love."

My heart stopped in my chest. Love. He still loved me. Murphy admitted he still loved me, but even he'd slept with someone. Connor hadn't. I found myself wanting to cry, unable to figure out these confusing emotions going through me all at once. Murphy had always been the more sentimental one, but even he had slept with someone. He'd needed the connection probably, just like I had. Didn't change how i seen him or felt. Connor was the more sure one, always planning and leading the way. Resolute. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a sip of my glass. Maybe that's why he hadn't, he knew he still wanted to be with me. Oh my God I was going to sound like a whore to them.

"Where ya want me to start?" I asked, taking another sip. The boys shared a look for a moment and Murphy nudged me with his shoulder.

"When ye got home." I looked at the clock, it would take a while to get through everything.

"Ya sure? I mean I can summarize it easily." But they both grunted a 'no' and Murphy spoke up again.

"Tellus te whole story, love. We've always wondered..." The looks on their faces told me they wanted to know, but I could also see the shadows swirling in their eyes. They were worried about what I'd say. Lord, give me strength. So, I started talking about home. I started from when I had gotten back on the farm, to when I'd gotten my call from Sgt. Donanhue...then went all the way to graduation. I paused for a few there, taking time to pour me more whiskey and light a cigarette. The boys were engrossed and only occasionally asked questions. I inhaled and picked back up, talking about my first year chasing pavement and my first big bust. When I started talking about Tristan, Connor's eyes became sharper. I felt the guilt wrapping its way into my chest. No, Amelia...don't feel guilty.

"Then a month before I got moved up to Detective, Tristan and I went and got tattoos." I grinned despite myself, that had been such a good night. "It was a bonding experience, kinda like a best wishes type thing." Murphy sat up straighter and inhaled the cigarette he'd lit.

"Ye got a tattoo?" The curiosity on his face was irresistable and I nodded. Quickly, I pushed the strap of my tank and sports bra aside. Both brothers stood to walk behind me to get their first view of it. I had expected something close to a pout or a soft reprimand, but I just felt warm finger tips softly stroking it before pulling away. "It's nice." Murphy commented, knowing look in his eyes. I gave him a small grin.

"Aye, t'ink yer Da woulda liked it." Connor added in. "Tho', yer skin was always beautiful without ink." I picked up on the notes of sadness in there, I was just walking and talking proof I was no longer the girl who'd had their stars in her eyes.

"Me too...anyways..." I went to start but I was interrupted my Murphy as he took his seat again. The dark-haired twin reminded me of the boy I always seen when he'd sleep. His eyes were pinned on me.

"Any o'ter exciting cop stories?" I had to laugh at him.

"Well, Roane County isn't like here. I mean yeah I've seen some crazy shit but it's not like the show Cops." I chuckled and flicked my smoke. "I mean I'd gotten stabbed..."

"Ye never told us w'at happened to t'at sonuvabitch..." Connor interjected. I felt my smile fade some. I took a sip and shrugged.

"They buried him. I mean, he'd swung at me and missed first. We scraped and he'd managed to get a good wind up on me. I'd slammed into a brick wall and before I could push off he got me...luckily for me I'd just gotten my hands on my weapon. I can't remember a lot of it, but the coroner's report said he took three to the chest." The twins seemed to satisfied with that. They hadn't changed one bit. We talked more about some shootouts, some of the weird calls and the best of the funny ones. And when the conversation went back to Tristan, I took a deep cleansing breath.

"He's a friend, ye said?" Connor asked me, voice unsure and his eyes were starting to take on the alcohol induced glaze. Murphy was there too, cheeks rosy from whiskey. I'd slowed down but I too felt the effects. I knew I wasn't drunk but I was well past the legal limit.

"Yeah, great friend actually but...it's complicated." My tongue seemed to turn into lead in my mouth as silence surrounded us. Connor and Murphy went still and looked at one another. My hand was shaking so I busied it by lighting another cigarette. I knew I didn't have any reason to be chastised or feel guilty, but the fact of the matter was these two still had my heart. But, up until a few days ago I thought they were gone forever. I had tried to move on and was doing okay.

"Boyfriend, t'en?" Murphy asked, not sounding too disappointed. It was a relief. I shook my head.

"No, we just sleep together on occasion. No strings attached kinda, we trust each other." I chewed my lip, watching them work their minds around it. I felt my shoulders tense, and I had to fight the urge to apologize. I wouldn't apologize for just living life, I had died when they left. Tristan had helped restore some of the fire back in me, burned away the stigma the twins had left me with.

"Was bound ta happen..." Connor mumbled, scratching his facial hair and sighing audibly. Murphy silently nodded before reaching out to me. I let him pull me closer and took comfort in the warm kiss he laid to my temple.

"Aye." He murmured into my skin before letting me go. His stormy blue eyes were relatively calm, he was making peace with it as I had for him. "Can' blame ye for livin' Amelia." I returned the kiss with a peck to his jaw and turned towards Connor, reaching for his hand. The dark blonde took it and pulled me into him for a hug, tighter and more assertive than Murphy's.

"I feel like I should apologize..." I gave in to the whisper of insecurities, but Connor grunted a firm 'no'.

"No need ta apologize, lass. Ye had every righ'. S'our fault." His words were true, but it made me feel better all the same. It was sobering how the conversation had shifted but it was nice to feel the weight lift from my chest.

"Thank you both..." With a final squeeze, I untangled myself from Connor and resumed the comfortable place between them on my bar stool. Despite what had transpired in the past, and knowing I could damn them to Ireland and not be blamed...I almost felt like I didn't deserve them. Ever since I was 18 they had always been quick to try to understand and forgive my slip ups and flaws. More so, they always welcomed them. These men were the saints within the sinners, really. And when I was with them, I felt like it too. My heart beat strong with this thought. Another hour passed with chit-chat and shared smiles of references and getting back on the same page with each other. The sun was well on its way into coming up before we were yawning and trying to stay away. None of us wanted to give in to our bodies need for rest.

"So, figured tonigh' we'd go see about some new hardware..." Connor said around a yawn that threatened to cut him short. Murphy lightly tapped his fingers on the bar and waggled it to his brother.

"Aye, t'ink yer right." New hardware?

"Huh?" I asked, feeling curious. The last time the Saints of South Boston stormed their way through the crime syndicate I was mostly clueless to the finer details of the operation.

"T'ere is a guy who gets us t'ings we need. Guns an' stuff..." Connor said, flipping the whiskey glass upside down to signal he was done for the time being. Murphy snorted and followed suit before chuckling.

"Rope." The Cheshire cat-like grin on his face made me grin too, it was infectious. Con rolled his eyes and flipped him off.

"Fuck ye, t'at rope saved our fuckin' lives las' time!" The humor was clear and no I didn't get it, but I am sure I could ask about it later. I gave a soft laugh and patted them both on the shoulders. I needed to go and get some sleep. I meant to pull my hands away, but the thought of leaving left me feeling hollow inside.

"What'sa matter?" Murphy asked me, I swallowed and frowned. I let my hands drop and I stood to grab my guns. Within a few seconds the holster was on and I reached over to grab my jacket.

"Need to head back, gotta get some sleep and rest up for tonight. Sure you two have plans for us." The twins' smiles disappeared and I knew I wasn't the only one sad about parting ways, even if it was only for a little while.

"Gotta go see t'is guy t'en we'll be back here. Don' really have any plans af'er t'at." Connor said as he rose to hug me and help me into my jacket. Murphy was soon to follow and began digging around in his jeans pocket. I watched on with curiosity until he pulled his closed hand out and opened it. It was my rosary. My cheeks flushed and I gave him a smile. Murph's dark blue eyes were serious for an instant before he pointed something out to me.

"We uh, added to it.." The dark twins voice became deeper, my stomach tightened. That damn tone of voice always got me shaky in the knees. I looked at his hand as he held it up and I took mental note of the two bullet casings hanging from it. One on either side of the cross. One was just a tad smaller than the other, a lot older too...slightly rusted. I didn't understand it. Seeing my confusion he began to explain. "T'is one..." He tapped the rusted one, "was shot bya girl who'd been afraid an' pushed ta react.." I watched as he trailed his finger across the beads and tapped the other one. At that time Connor's hand slipped into my left one, lacing our fingers together. "T'is one was shot bya woman who's been tru hell an' back an' knows her part in life..." Murph stopped talking and slipped the rosary down over my head, letting it rest over my tank top. He stared at the cross and the brass casings. I knew they were just trying to make me cry. My eyes were misting over, but I took a deep breath and swallowed it down.

"Guys.." I said softly, bringing my free hand up to lovingly touch it. The weight of Murphy's words washed over me and I was touched.

"Yer nota girl anymore. We've always loved ye regardless, but ye weren' ready. Now ye are. But most importantly, we love ye jus' te same. Hope ye know t'at 'Melia." Connor spoke softly at my side. I chewed my lip and looked up to Murphy who seemed in the same boat as me. I let out a breath and pulled them both in close.

"I know." I said, finding it hard to say I loved them out loud. Those three words were stuck in my throat, so I held them for an extra long time to make sure they felt them. "Thank y'all for this..." I mumbled before pulling away to study the rosary some more. "Can't believe you had this.." My fingers rolled the old .38 casing between them. This was the one from the shot that killed the man who'd tried to drown me. Murphy just shrugged and scratched his head.

"Was too important ta jus' leave t'ere. We carried it around 'tween us in Ireland. Was kina a reminder...ya know?" The corner of my mouth turned up, the feeling of being special enveloped me. They had really missed me, kept this with them. My heart exploded. I took a deep breath and tucked the rosary into my bra. I would never again rip this thing off or lightly cast it aside, no matter what happens.

"Yeah..." I said to myself mostly, before feeling now would be the best time to go. If I stayed any longer my emotions would get the best of me and I'd be making rash decisions with them. I had to think responsibly, this needed time. I wanted to be their's again, I mean I still was their's technically...but not really. It wasn't official and we hadn't even kissed yet. I needed time, and I am sure they did too. "I should go." The brothers looked towards each other and my spine tingled. We exchanged hugs and kisses to cheeks once more before they let me walk out. I was sober now, and the sun was just starting to peak over the buildings of Boston. Though I wanted to be closer to them physically, feeling the old stirrings of need...I was proud of myself for not giving into it. Proud of them for not pushing or pouting. Love needed time and we still had a lot of 'getting to know each other' to do. I just worried though, doing what we do, time was never a guarantee. Being with them before had taught me that.

****Plumb- Dont Deserve You****


	11. Gunshot

**A/N: Hello guys! For starters, I am SO SORRY I have been MIA the past week or so.**  
**Took a sabbatical of sorts to get outta town. I have felt terrible though, just want you **  
**guys to know I am still all in this. Just needed some time alone with my boyfriend. :) **  
**Tried to shake the rust off for this chapter, so if it's not the usual grade stuff...please **  
**forgive me. I send all my affections and love to you guys! Thank you for being**  
**so EFFIN awesome! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS. **

_"I am longing for your poison_  
_Like a cancer for its prey_  
_Shot an arrow, in your harbor_  
_Where you waited in the rain_  
_I am siren, I am ivy_  
_I am no one, I'm nobody_  
_I am longing for your honey_  
_I am longing for your love"_

Chapter 11 GunShot

I watched as the boys got their stuff together, Romeo was grumbling about drinking too much. I grinned and patted him on the back as I stood next to him.

"Whatcha expect? You're hangin' with Irishmen." I stated almost flatly, ending the statement with a grin. The Mexican took a deep breath and nodded his agreement to me. Connor and Murphy were slipping into their coats, eying me oddly. "What?" Connor chuckled and reached for my hand, kissing my knuckles softly.

"Ye look like yer bout te rob'a bank, love." I furrowed my eye brows and looked at myself. I was in black baggy cargos and a black sweater. I grumbled and flipped him off, stripping my shirt off. Underneath I had a white muscle shirt and the usual sports bra. I threw my hair up in a pony tail and slid back into my holsters. With a sigh, I motioned to myself.

"Jesus, didn't realize it was a beauty pageant. This better?" I said, getting a thumbs up from the dark blonde and a playful butt slap from Murphy. I flinched but tried to keep my face impassive, couldn't help my blush though. Murphy winked at me and Romeo rolled his eyes.

"Aye, don' need ta looka beautiful mess..but ye do. Gon'ta head ta see te IRA guy, t'en we're gon'ta meet up wit te guys and get inta Prudential Tower. Spoke to Bloom earlier, she's got te shooter's ID figured out..." Connor spoke up while he buttoned up a few then motioned to the door. I slipped my sunglasses on again and was the first out the door, holding it for my three amigos.

"And?" I asked gruffly, wanting to know the asshole's name already. Murphy answered for his twin.

"Otillio Panza." I had but a second to see the dark twin's stormy blue eyes before they were hidden behind his sunglasses. Connor slipped his on next and patted Murphy on the back. "Jus'a problem, Panza's on Interpol's wanted list. Shouldn' 'ave been able ta get on US soil...Yakavetta don' have t'at kin'a pull." I tilted my head, trying to wrap my head around what he was saying.

"I don't get it...so, Panza's an internationally wanted man and he was able to get into the United States?" I clenched my jaws before I chewed my lip. "Yakavetta don' have the connections for that...was he smuggled in? And if not...then who could have done it?" My rant seemed to be similar to the thoughts of the boys, too.

"Dunno love, hopin' we'll figure it out. Don' really matter too much, though. Yakavetta dies tonight." Murphy mumbled and opened the Bug door for me. Romeo had her started up and they were ready to roll out. I pulled my smokes out and lit one after the boy's climbed into the back and we were off. It was quiet for a few minuets until Connor gave Romeo directions to this 'guys' place of business. I took the time to think about the weight on my shoulders. I didn't have a lot of time like I did the first time this was happening. I had a job to get back to... It felt weird knowing we were on borrowed time now. I looked into the side mirror, seeing Murphy toking his cigarette. My heart pounded harder. Damn it all. There were decisions to be made, not to mention the things that now lay ahead of us.

Could I go back to work? Could I go home at all? What about the farm? I mean, I could easily ask Mom to return home...but she was busy with her writing and Elias. For the first time in a long time she is really happy. I could leave it to Tyler, he loves the farm. I shook it off and decided to think about it later. But my job, that couldn't wait. I'd need to make up my mind soon. Even Bloom had said my calling was above the laws of man, my badge was proof I served man. Carefully I shifted in my seat and Romeo gently elbowed me, looking at me out of the corner of his eyes.

"Y'alright chica?" His face was showing his concern. I gave him a small nod and glanced to the twins. They shared his look. I blinked and turned back to where I was.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just got a lot more to worry about than aiming and pulling a trigger is all." I fingered the pocket on my fight leg, feeling the shape of my cell phone in there.

"Like what?" Romeo spoke again. I sighed and flicked the cigarette out the window.

"My job, the farm, the house, bills." As I named those things off, I felt the tension rise in the small car. I felt bad because I knew the boys felt partly responsible for my predicament. But I kept on. "Just gotta figure out what I am going to do about it all. Don't worry about it, I'll figure it out. I always do." I tried to sound more confident, and it worked a little. A few seconds of silence passed between the four of us before Connor tried to lighten the mood.

"Yer not worried 'bout t'night?" I could hear the smile in his voice, I grinned. "Yer gon'ta kill men tonigh'...could even get shot...an' yer worried 'bout t'at stuff?" I gave a soft laugh and licked my lips before I responded.

"Hey now, I'm used to gettin' shot at by now." I heard them chuckle softly, but Romeo wasn't. I gave him a questioning look behind my sunglasses. He must have felt it because he shrugged and remained serious. "Rome?" I asked him. The Mexican scrunched his face up before he responded.

"It's funny, but...you're a beautiful young woman. I mean don't get me wrong, you're as badass as they come...but, sounds like you've got your shit together. Ya could easily have met a guy, married and had some pups. Why risk it?" His question was valid, and it almost sobered up the good mood. I wanted to be honest with him, tell him the real reason I would give it all up in a heart beat. I'd do anything for Murphy and Connor. Love makes you do stupid things. Instead, I found myself grinning and lightly tugged his hair.

"Got bored." He snorted and I winked, going back to staring out the window. I was avoiding the looks from the Macmanus twins, I could feel their eyes boring into me through the seat. I adjusted my holsters and felt the rosary between my breasts. It was close to my heart, just like them. Like 5 years before, I knew I'd give my life for them in a heartbeat. Nothing would ever change that. It wasn't just my heart that connected me to them, it was God himself. Our fates were intertwined. I'd never forget what's happened before, but it didn't change it at all. When I felt like I could say it the same way I did five years ago, I'll look them both in the eye and tell them how much I love them.

"Aye, t'is is it..." Murphy spoke up, getting Romeo to pull over and motion towards the brick apartment building. I eyed it before taking my seat belt off and opening the door. Didn't look like the whereabouts for a super illegal guns trafficking business.

"Shit, this block looks sooo dangerous." I dead panned sarcastically, motioning to the nice neighborhood we were in. Connor hopped out and Murphy followed.

"Don' let te looks fool ye, 'Melia. Man's te fuckin' Al Capone of te Irish world 'ere in Boston. Good lad though." Connor stated and double checked to make sure he had money in his pocket. All I seen was the fat wad of bills. I honestly didn't want to know where he'd gotten it. With a few steps and the boys opening a few doors, I found myself immersed in the Irish underworld of crime. It did not disappoint. I looked around in wonder, I was instantly a child in a candy store. They men talked about a few things before Mr. Guns, as I referred to him now in my head, told them they were welcome to the private collection. I swiveled around and felt my mouth water as they un-cased the Barettas. They were beautiful. I grinned.

"How much?" Connor asked, I cringed just knowing it was going to be costly. Mr. Guns gave us a small smile, shaking his head.

"T'ese are on te house." I felt my eye brows shoot up on my forehead.

"Damn. That's nice of ya." The Irishman nodded and pulled out a smaller case. I watched as he thought for a second, before nodding and sliding it to me. I grinned and patted my babies down. "Ah, I got all I need darlin."

"Trust me, lass." He insisted. I shot a look to the boys, and they motioned for me to open the case up. I popped the clasps up and flipped the lid up. I couldn't fight the wide smile. Laying snuggled comfortably in a black foam bed was a pair of shiny compact Sig Sauer 1911's. I wanted to speak before Romeo cut me off by slamming a wooden case down on the table. I rolled my eyes and took my case over to a shelf, digging through to find some ammo for them. Once I located the .45 rounds, I set aside 4 boxes. The boys had started laughing, but I was on a mission. I took out one of the compacts and examined it. A gentle hand touched my lower back and I looked up. It was the dealer.

"Aye, 'ere ye go." He nudged me with a handful of black straps. I took it and began trying to figure out what it was. I held it up and then looked up at him, ready to roll my eyes.

"Really?" I couldn't fight the giggle and he winked.

"Jus' cause you're killin te bad guys, don' mean ye can' look sexy doin' it." I felt the flush creep up my neck as I accepted a duffle back from him too. I piled all my things inside and took a deep breath.

"Thank you for all this stuff." I said, reaching for his arm. The Irishman nodded and I let go. He passed bags to the boys and within a few minuets, we were out of there. Despite my confidence with the weapons I had already, I was a woman and I liked shiny things. Excitement of using my new toys filled me as we piled into the car. Now, we had to circle back to McGinty's and get changed then we'd meet up with the guys from the station and commence our plans for the Yakavetta stronzis (_assholes_).

* * *

The elevator doors shut and Romeo uncovered the clothes hamper, allowing Con and Murphy to hop out. They were mumbling between them, rehashing their roles and making sure Romeo was good to go. I focused on getting my holsters back on. I made sure my babies were secured before pulling out the black mess of straps from the small bag I'd thrown in the hamper. The men watched me as I laid it on the ground and stepped into it. I shimmied and slipped it up my legs. I grinned as I clipped it into my belt loops. I tightened the straps around my thighs, before sliding the new compacts into the holsters. When I was done, I straightened up and admired myself in the stainless steel panels inside the elevator. Just then, Murphy snorted. I shot him a dirty look.

"What's so fuckin' funny?" His face lit up with amusement before Connor couldn't stop himself from grinning, too.

"Not'in love, ye just look like yer tryin' to body double fer Lora Croft..." Murphy teased. I rolled my eyes and awarded him a chuckle.

"Aye, ye gonna raid some tombs?" Connor added and I lightly punched his shoulder, before leaning up to kiss his cheek and then Murphy's.

"Nah, just gonna send some to their tombs. Y'all be careful alright?" Though I was serious, I tried to keep it light-hearted. The twins nodded and returned the kisses. I gave them small smiles.

"Alrigh' Rome, make sure ye are on time. If not, we're fucked..." Murphy told our Mexican counter part. I nodded and watched Romeo ante up. He looked so excited, the man had a glint in his eye.

"You two assholes jus' worry about yourselves. Old Romeo's got this. You two dicks just make sure you're on time." I grinned and rolled my shoulders. My mouth did seem a little dry, but I ignored it. Quickly Murphy and Connor did some last minuet checks on their weapons and equipment. I eyed them and took a deep breath. The elevator dinged as it came to a stop. My heart beat sped up. As the doors slid open, Romeo wheeled the hamper out and held the door for me. I took a step, but two different hands grabbed me. I turned and seen them exchanging a quick look before Murphy let go and Connor pulled me in for a tight hug. I felt myself melting. I didn't hesitate to hug him back just as tightly.

"A bheith cúramach.(_Be Careful_)" Connor whispered to me. I nodded into his neck before he straightened up. I gave him another smile and leaned up on my tip toes, placing a soft but firm kiss to his lips. The contact made my stomach turn and the butterflies swirl in my belly. I felt him smile into my lips before we parted. I didn't waste anytime reaching for Murphy, and he didn't waste time yanking me to him. Just like his twin, he hugged me close. I felt his hand tremble though, it only exceeded in making my stomach flop around some more.

"Féach leat go luath, grá.(_See you soon_.)" Murphy mumbled. I gave him a squeeze to confirm I had understood him. He pulled away and grabbed my face, kissing me in a way that almost made me light-headed. Those soft lips and the light tickle of facial hair, it was just the same as it's always been. It took Romeo clearing his throat to break us up. I felt my cheeks burn as I pulled away and walked out. When the doors shut behind us, I blinked and tried to focus on the mission. Romeo however, looked as if he was about to explode.

"What?" I asked, sounding slightly testy. He shrugged his shoulders and couldn't fight the shit eating grin on his face.

"So you really are with both of them?" Already I was done with this conversation. I thought he already knew this.

"Thought you knew this already muchacho?" I shot back at him as we began walking. I found the utility room door, waiting for him to catch up to me. His dark eyes met mine and he positioned the hamper in the hallway, getting the last of our stuff out of it.

"I mean, I figured that's what you'd meant...but...wow." I rolled my eyes and twisted the door knob. He followed me in and I quickly shut the door. I heard a gasp from behind us and I turned quickly. There was a man in here, obviously ready to shit himself as he eye balled me and my artillery.

"Shit!" I groaned and Romeo immediately came up to the guy and knocked him out. I winced and sighed. We got to work tying him up and he duct taped his mouth. I checked the wrist watch on Rome's arm. We still had a little bit. A few minuets later the man started coming to and I realized he was probably my age. I gave him a sympathetic look, he must be a 'maid' of sorts or a repair guy.

"So, do you switch off between them or...?" My eyes snapped to his and they narrowed. Despite my frustration, I felt a fresh wave of warmth tickling my cheeks. Memories of my first steamy encounters with the boys made me side step and try to distract myself. Before I could answer, Romeo chuckled. "You dirty girl!"

"Fuck off, Romeo. That's personal." I hissed at him, motioning to the man staring at us wide eyed. "Sure he don't wanna hear about it!"

"I bet he would. Hey man, this girl right here...she's dating twin Irishmen...you'd wanna hear those stories wouldn't you?" To my disbelief, after the man realized Romeo wasn't jerking him around he gave a little nod. Romeo smiled at me victoriously. "Haha, I knew it." I gave them both the finger and decided to block them out. I double checked my clips, making sure the springs weren't going to seize up. I chambered a round into all four pistols and unsnapped the straps holding the weapons into the holsters. I didn't know much about Connor and Murphy's plan but I had a time when we had to be busting down the door.

"Whatcha think about...'who ordered the kick ass fajitas?'" The question snapped me out of it, I turned and shot the men a questioning look.

"What the hell you two goin' on about?" I seen Romeo had removed the guy's duct tape.

"I'm tryin' to come up with a catch phrase. Ya know, somethin' cool." I blinked and resisted the urge to beat the shit out of him. Really?

"You're fuckin' with me right? We've got like...5 minuets!" Romeo pouted and looked at the guy, shaking his gun in the guys face.

"Help me out here, man..."

"I dunno, I'm just a repair man dude..." That wasn't good enough for Romeo, he frowned. The man sighed and shrugged beneath his restraints. I just stood there, watching partially humored. "How about, take it! Ya know like, take it!" I rubbed my face with my hand and checked the watch, 3 minuets. The two went back and forth until I grunted for Romeo to get his ass in gear.

"C'mon. It's time." I tugged on his shirt sleeve, nodding my goodbye to the poor man Romeo had subjected to his questions. He nodded back and was asking about being untied before we shut the door on him. We silently crept along the hallways, finding out correct door number. It was supposed to be the biggest suit in the building. I withdrew my full sized 1911's first, standing beside the door frame. I watched as Rome got himself ready, he ended it with a few energized jumps. I took another deep breath and rolled my neck, hearing the roar of thunder echo through my head. The familiar reminder of my calling brought me comfort.

"I got it..." He motioned to the door, then he met my eyes. I could see the child like excitement. Good lord, the man was born for this. "Ya good to go?" He asked me. I gave him a grin and took a deep breath. We watched the numbers count down on his watch and it beeped. Right then there was a loud crash inside and the sound of gun fire kicked up into motion. Romeo took a step back and kicked the holy shit out of the door, it nearly flew off the hinges. We rushed in, guns drown. Before us was World War 3. I only had a moment to spot my boys. They were on their knees, shooting with an uncanny precision. Romeo and myself began walking our way in, shooting anyone who came into sight.

The world slowed, I felt the recoil of my weapons seeming to almost sync in time with my heart beat. Men were falling all around us, they hadn't stood a chance. I looked around, keeping an awareness of where Romeo was so we wouldnt cross fire. Between the shattered glass and blood splatter I seen a man scrambling for a door way. I aimed my right at his ankle. I knew he was Yakavetta's son. Looked like his father, and that was a face I'd never forget. I squeezed the trigger and seen the spray of red color the white carpet. He stumbled but fought his way to the door way. I realized what the room was and was about to freak out until another man beat him to it and the door slid shut. I grinned ruefully, serves him right.

I looked around and it was brought to my attention everyone else was dead. Con and Murphy were making a beeline for Yakavetta. I tucked my emptied 1911's into my holsters and withdrew one of the compacts from my thighs. The twins drug the man to the linoleum and he kneeled. I could see the beads of sweat on his brows. He was so scared he probably didn't even feel his crippled ankle. They positioned themselves behind him, I stood still. I felt the thunder rolling through me. I loved their prayer. But before they started to speak, they both turned to me. Again, before me was the Saint's. Their eyes were calm and I could see the resolution in them, eyes clear and steady as they beckoned me close.

My feet carried me to stand in between them. I felt the urge to raise my gun, so I did. I was already cocked and ready to go. Then they began speaking in unison.

_"And shepherds we shall be._

_For Thee, my Lord, for Thee._

_Power hath descended forth from Thy hand._

_That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command._

_And we shall flow a river forth to Thee._

_And Teeming with souls shall it ever be._.."

They paused and gave Yakavetta a second to mumble a silent prayers and cross himself. He was shaky. I couldn't blame him. Then Connor spoke, making eye contact with me.

"In nomine Patris.." I watched his lips as he spoke the words. Then Murphy spoke on my other side.

"Et Filii.." I glanced to the dark haired twin and realized they were including me in on this. I felt my heart pound, the thunder in my head went silent as peace flooded through me.

"Et Spiritus Sancti." My voice sounded oddly sure as the the words tumbled out, and as if an electricity flowed between us and snapped, we fired at the same time. Yakavetta's body fell forward with a dull thud. Just like before, I felt no guilt or remorse. We had a few seconds to breath before Romeo reminded us he was there too.

"DING DONG MOTHER FUCKER, DING DONG!" We three paused and turned to look at the Mexican. He was holding up his guns and looking so intense. Connor nodded and waggled his finger towards him.

"Damn right." The dirty blond said, Murphy and I nodded. I had to give Rome a grin, seeing he was truly proud of the moment.

"Good one, Romeo. Was some bad ass stuff, hun." I gave up the words for his benefit. He beamed with pride and soon we got our shit into gear. We all walked around the room, placing pennies over the eyes of the gangsters and crossing them. After we were done, we took the maintenance stairs down to the parking garage and let Dolly drive us back to McGinty's. Once we were safely inside the bar, Doc was waiting on us with shots. I hugged the old man and slowly began stripping off the weapons, just taking notice to the random splats of blood here and there. I just sighed, thankfully my pants were black and these boots were old. It donned on me then, now the blood of the father and the son was on my boots. How...poetic. I snorted.

"What's so funny?" Murphy asked me, as he began wiping down his weapons beside his brother. All eyes were on me and I grinned, pulling my pants legs up. I shook my foot.

"These are the boots I wore for the trial, now the blood of father and son are on them." The twins found the amusement in it, but Romeo scrunched his nose.

"That can't be good from a karmic stand point." I chuckled and went back to wiping down my babies. I sat down at the bar and smiled to Doc. He was sat on one of the benches, grinning.

"Angel's don' need l-l-luck Romeo..." He piped up in my defense. I winked at the old man and blew him a kiss. He winked back at me. Murphy and Connor spoke to Romeo about random things and I just watched them interact. They were beautiful. They'd both kissed me. I needed more of those kisses. My nerves wound tight and before I could really stop myself, I stood and walked to the bathroom. I didn't have to use it, but I needed...my breath hitched and almost didn't crack the door open to catch their eyes. Almost. It took a moment, but Murphy seen me first. My face was serious, our eyes locked. He blinked and nudged Connor. The other brother turned to see me, wasting no time to stand and tell Romeo he'd be back. Murphy then rose and followed right behind his brother. I let the door shut as I backed up. I didn't stop until I felt the cold painted cement block wall behind me.

I licked my lips as the door creaked open and I watched them come in. I felt my skin tingling, my heart pounding against my ribcage. They too looked very serious about something. Connor's eyes were trained on me and Murphy seemed to be waiting.

"Ye did good tonight." Connor complimented me, his voice dropping a few octaves. I shivered. I remained silent, watching him take a step closer to me.

"Aye, seen how calm ye were. Alert." Murphy added, also taking a step. My breath quickened and I felt my legs slowly turning to jelly. I felt like I was 18 again, and it was a turn on. "Ye look scared now, though. Why's t'at?" I blinked and slowly shook my head.

"Not scared." It barely came out above a whisper, but they heard it well enough. The brothers shared a look, the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stood on end.

"Why ye shrinkin' away, t'en?" Connor then asked. Depsite myself, I had to give a crooked grin. My head tilted to the side when I realized they were close enough to smell. I shivered again.

"I'm not gettin' away, I was luring you in." This came out more confidently as I reached out for their shirts and gave a rough tug. Eagerly they stepped into me and Murphy's mouth was the first to find mine. I gave a gasp as Connor's mouth found my neck and latched on. Murphy swallowed my groan and delved in, fisting my hair in his left hand. The world in a single moment burnt down around me and righted itself. I trembled as strong hands held me. Con's teeth gently scraped my skin, and I bit into Murphy's bottom lip. He grunted and we three separated ourselves. Their eye's were dilated and I was sure mine reflected theirs. Before anything could be said, I tugged Connor down to me so I could kiss him.

With equal measure his mouth consumed mine and left me shaky. Murphy's hands steadied me and laced with my right one. Connor's kiss was more starved as he pushed my back flush against the wall. I grunted in approval, my left hand stroking the side of his jaw. A few heart beats later, he pulled away, but not befor eresting his forehead against mine.

"Táimid tar éis a chaill tú, líne saol.(_We have missed you, life line.)" _His soft words touched me deep down where I hadn't felt much in a long time. It felt so nice to hear Gaelic and not hate the sound of it, too.

"Bhí mé ag siúl timpeall, caillte. Níl mé i gcrích gan tú dhá.( _I have been walking around, lost. I am not complete without you two.)"_ The sincerity in my voice made me want to cringe, but it didn't bother Connor. He nodded and placed a warm kiss to my forehead. Murphy gently took me from his twin and also placed a kiss of his own.

"No matter what happens from 'ere on out, it's all of us. No more splittin' up. Promise." Murphy stated, Connor grunted his agreement and took my other hand.

"Mhm. T'ink we oughta get back out t'ere tho, don' want Rome gettin' all hot'n bothered." I had to give a good laugh, being reminded of the conversation I had with him earlier tonight.

"Oh yeah, man's been thinkin' too much about it. I'll tell ya later, quite funny." The boys followed me out and I took my seat again. Doc seemed to be getting a little tired as he gave me a small smile. I blushed and watched as Murph and Con poured us all another shot. I tipped the alcohol back and gave an appreciative shiver. I slid my glass over towards the other empty three and yawned. I was getting too old for this shit. Con and Murph were watching me while they tried to speak with Romeo about something, but my eyes were pulled away towards the door when I heard it open. In all his goofy glory stood Greenly. The older man had a infectious smile on his face as he went to grab for his balls.

"SACKOMATIC I said!" Connor and Murphy started laughing, hell we all were. There was something about Greenly you always had to laugh at. The man dropped his hands and went to take a step inside, before a loud gun shot echoed through the pub and I seen his shirt ripple as buck shot ripped itself from the mans chest. Fear laced through me, no! I grabbed my gun and went to get to the fallen cop, but strong hands yanked my shirt hard and I was thrown up into the air.

**** Lykke Li - Gunshot ****


	12. People Help The People

**A/N: Okay, I have been binge drinking coffee and after updating last night...**  
**I couldn't hold off on getting this one out too. You should be warned, this is a heavy chapter.**  
**I feel sad right now, but things must be done. If you're like me and AliceFan01, grab the Kleenex.  
I have said this before, but I am proud of our girl. ****Amelia doesn't feel so much like a character anymore,  
but a little entity that speaks for herself. *****sappy face* Hope you guys feel the same.  
Please enjoy and hope this hits you in the feels the way it ****does me. Hugs and love to you all!**

Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS.

_"God knows what is hiding in this world of little consequence_  
_Behind the tears, inside the lies_  
_A thousand slowly dying sunsets_  
_God knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts_  
_Guess the loneliness came knocking_  
_No one needs to be alone, oh singin'_

_People help the people_  
_And if you're homesick,_  
_give me your hand and I'll hold it_  
_People help the people_  
_Nothing will drag you down_  
_Oh and if I had a brain,_  
_Oh and if I had a brain_  
_I'd be cold as a stone and rich as a fool_  
_That turned all those good hearts away_"

Chapter 12 - People Help The People

For the first time in a long time, I felt sudden fear. Connor and Murphy had thrown me over the bar, breaking glass was falling down around us from bursting liquor bottles and glasses. I heard my ears ring from the succession of shot gun blasts. I was shaking. My hands were firmly on one of my 1911's. I took a deep breath and found the steady but similar look in Murphy's eyes. His face was red and I could see the anger bubbling below the surface of his skin. A hand touched my back as Connor shouted over the noise to our attacker.

"You mot'er fucker!" His lighter blue eyes were electric as he quickly loaded up the shot-gun he'd just been wiping down a little while ago. Murphy was quickly loading the clip to one of his silenced Barettas. I watched as his hand deftly did this, sure of every move. Another gun shot echoed through the pub and Connor nudged us both, holding out his hand to count down. "T'ree...two...one..." All at once we jumped up and found the shooter, I had to strangle out a growl. Seated behind Doc was the man. It almost took me off guard to realize how little of a man he was. Then my anger kicked in. He had a knife to the old man's throat and a gun pointed at us.

"You sonofa..." I began growling out but Murphy bumped me, a subtle que to shut the fuck up.

"Put them down and throw them over!" He demanded of us. It took it a second to register, so he decided to repeat himself a little more enthusiastically this time. "I will kill him! Put them down and throw them over!" The Italian accent told me this was Panza. The boys and myself took only a second to glance between us, before tossing our weapons down. I made eye contact with Doc and wanted to scream. I had a cop shot and the closest thing to a father held hostage. I wanted to burn this place down. I felt my stomach churning listening to Greenly gurgle and groan. I was shaking, could feel it in my shoulders and sides.

I held Doc's eyes, trying to tell him not to be afraid. His face was turning red and the knife was resting firmly against his wind pipe and artery. I couldn't wait until we killed Panza. As the thought hit me, the thunder began slowly building up in my head. My neck felt sweaty, we needed to get Doc away from this prick and I needed to get Greenly help.

"Oh, we're gonna have ourselves a party..." Panza spoke out again, his gun never wavering from our direction. "So which one's first? Which one do you love more?" The shaven head Italian spoke directly into Doc's ear, it made me cringe. How dare he touch the kind old man the way he was! My muscles were wound up tight. Behind those thick glasses Doc eyed all of us. His faded blue eyes were watering with panic, then they landed on me. He seemed so apologetic in his moment of truth. I braced myself, nodding it was okay. I loved him too. "This one?" Panza asked, shifting the pistol to sight me down square in the chest. I felt the tension and panic rise in Murphy and Connor. My breath stopped, I didn't close my eyes.

Then a quiet gunshot sounded out, Panza gasped and dropped his pistol. I didn't waste any time scaling the counter top and going to Greenly. I looked in Doc's direction to make sure he was okay, the old barkeeper was crawling on the floor away from the bench.

"You okay?" I shouted to him, he just nodded and kept crawling until he went under the counter top to the safety behind the bar. Thank God he was okay, losing Doc was a nightmare scenario for me. But right now I had someone else to check on, I wasn't even paying attention to everyone else. I was the first to reach Greenly. The older cop was on his back, blood bubbling up and out of the corner of his mouth as he coughed. I shook my head as I fisted his leather jacket, hoisting him up into my lap. "Greenly! Stay with me honey!" I said desperately, only noticing Connor and Murphy joining us.

Murphy touched the man's face and Connor grasped his coat, before touching the exit wounds all over his chest. I blinked tears out of my eyes. I knew Greenly wasn't going to make it, that shot-gun had eaten him up.

"Da! Call the fuckin' ambulance now!" Connor bellowed out. My face turned upwards to follow his line of sight. Indeed, there he was. Noah was dressed in all black and standing in front of Panza who was on his knees. I hadn't expected to see the eldest Macmanus, but right now I wasn't complaining. Noah too wasn't paying much mind to us as he began talking to the assassin. I shook my head and returned my attention back to Greenly.

"C'mon brother, stay with me here. You're a tough fucker, remember? You got this darlin." I spoke, feeling the tears running hot and heavy down my cheeks. Greenly tried to smile and lift his hand, but it fell down against his stomach.

"It's goin' ta be alright..." Murphy said, I heard his voice crack as he touched the cop's face. I seen his tears hitting his hand. My throat almost clamped shut as I tried to stay calm.

"Helps on the way! Hang in there!" Connor said, seeming to be more pieced together than Murph and I. My hazel eyes met Greenly's and he looked up to the ceiling before back at us. More blood flowed from his mouth, it was covering Murphy's hand. I inhaled sharply, not bothering to wipe my face. My right hand held onto Greenly's with a firm grip, he was clammy.

"It's over..." He coughed out, giving us another smile. I sniffled and shook my head, I wanted to argue with the man...but we all knew he was right. But in the face of death, Greenly just kept smiling and was trying to reassure us. "S'okay, proudest day of my life..." One more cough and a sticky breath later, he was gone. I inhaled awkwardly and felt the tension ease out of his body as his head fell to the side. Blood slowly made it's way out of the other corner of his mouth, draining down onto my lap. My hands shook as I let out a sob and smoothed over his face.

"Oh...God.." I breathed out, blinking tears out of my eyes. Connor and Murphy growled in anger. Murphy gently closed his eyes and we had a moment together to quietly say a prayer for the fallen cop. My heart broke, he'd been a good one. As I sent one up for the 'bagel boy', the sound of a gun being cocked distracted me. I opened my eyes to see Noah and Panza standing facing each other, old Army issue revolvers pointed at one another's faces. Panic rose in me.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ! " Connor yelled, the brothers jumped up and grabbed their weapons. In a second of time, the dark blond had the shot-gun gripped and resting flush against the Italian's face, Murphy had the silencer of his pistol pointed towards his temple. "I'm gon' ta blow his fuckin' brains out rights now!" He shouted. I flinched when Noah reprimanded him.

"Connor!" The father took a second to finish. "Son, daddies workin'." I watched in disbelief as his dark blue eyes shifted briefly to his boys and reassured them.

"W'at te fuck you talkin' about?" Connor replied, only to get a nod from Noah telling them to back off. They stayed put for a moment as Noah cocked his revolver and steadied it against Panza's forehead.

"Where is he?" Noah asked calmly. Connor took a second to give the assassin a piece of his mind, well, all our minds.

"No matter how t'is turns out, ye fuckin' die today!" It came out in a menacing hiss, and he was backed up by his twin.

"Bet'r believe it mot'er fucker..." Murphy said calmly as they backed off and got to their knees, crossing themselves and starting to pray. My attention averted back to Noah as I gently laid Greenly down and crawled to the boys, joining in on the praying. Sure I had my own qualms with their father, but he was their father.

"Where is he?" Noah asked Panza again.

"No!" The assassin smirked, then flinched as Noah pulled the trigger. My eyes opened after I'd pulled out my rosary and crossed myself. My heart was beating a million miles a minuet. Now it was Panza's turn to pull the trigger. He mumbled something in Italian before he said it again, and I understood.

"Dio, famme famoso! (_God, make me famous_!)" He pulled the trigger and I had to flinch, but was relieved to see it was an empty chamber. Panza's mouth hung open, staring at his weapon with shock and disbelief. Murphy and Connor looked up, gripping their weapons tightly. Noah cocked his revolver once more and put it to his head. The short man was breathing heavily and he leaned his forehead into the end of the barrel. His face was red and shaking with the force he used to push against the metal.

"Where?" Noah asked again, more stern this time. I blinked and held my breath. Panza snarled and chose to speak.

"Vaffanculo! (_Fuck you_!)" It must have been the wrong answer because Noah pulled the trigger and the sound of the gunshot echoed throughout the pub. I jumped and sank with relief as Panza's body hit the floor. I sensed the same wash over the boys. The father on the other had, remained the perfect picture of calm and he closed his eyes as his head leaned back. I knew he was praying and thanking the heavens for delivering him safely through that. Con and Murph were waiting on him to get done, but I knew we didn't have that luxury right now. I wiped my cheeks and stood shakily.

"Guys, we need to get these casings put up. I have to call this in..." I spoke hastily, accepting the broom from Doc and the dust pan. The twins looked at me as if I'd grown a second head. I ignored it and started looking for all evidence of them being here. "Seriously, start gatherin' up our stuff. Any glasses we've touched, break em. I'll replace 'em Doc...don't worry." He just stuttered around and started throwing all remaining glasses on the bar top to the floor.

"What're ye doin'?" Murphy questioned me, stilling me with his hand on my arm. I blinked out a few more tears and emptied the dust pan into trash can, quickly yanking up the trash bag. Connor came in closer, along with Noah. For a second, I regarded the eldest Macmanus carefully. I extended my hand out for his weapon. Understanding crossed his face as he handed it over. "Amelia!" Murphy growled, impatient for my answer.

"I'm making it seem as if I had been here, meeting up with Greenly for a drink. Panza came in and shot him. We tussled around and I killed Panza. You three were never here. Go find Romeo at his Uncle's...glad he cut out a little while ago..." My voice was shaky but I was sure about this. The two brothers made a noise of disagreement, but Noah quieted them.

"Aye, let te lass do'er job boys. Amelia knows what she's doin..." I gave him a grateful nod, jerking my head towards all the weapons and cleaning materials.

"Go on, grab up everything." Without another word, they started throwing everything in the duffel bags. Connor went to leave my holsters and guns, but I shook my head. "Those too, they'll be lookin' for those guns and anything we used at the Prudential. This gun is the only new weapon to be shot around here." I wiggled the old revolver and began wiping the handle down, just in case there was any prints. I gripped it wearily, making sure to put mine on it. The air was thick and Doc was struggling not to let out a few choice words. I shot the old man a look to reassure him. He blinked behind those glasses and let out a loud groan.

"SHIT!" Doc huffed, before walking towards the kitchen and getting me a pot of coffee started. I turned back to the boys and placed quick kisses to them, I even took a second to hug Noah. He was a little surprised, but gently hugged me back. There was a conversation still yet to be had between us, but he had saved my life.

"Y'all get outta here. I'll meet y'all at Rome's Uncles. Whatever you do, lay the fuck low. I'll be a while I am sure..." Murphy and Connor nodded, a state of shock setting in over them as they both touched my arms. They looked scared for me. I was scared, unsure of what would happen to me tonight. But, no way in hell was I not calling Greenly's death in. Cops don't let cops lay in their own blood. I owed Greenly this, for every smile and flirtatious comment he's ever made. He'd had faith in us. The boys were close to the door when another thought hit me. I was un marked! how was I supposed to say I'd been in a fight with no bruise to show for it? "Shit! Wait!" I yelped, running the few feet to them and motioning to my face. "One of you need to punch me!"

"What?" Murphy exclaimed, and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I need a black eye or somethin'! How am I supposed to tell the FEDs I was assaulted with no bruises or scrapes? I can take it...hit me!" My voice was getting higher and higher. We didn't have much time. "C'mon damnit! You've hurt me before to keep me safe! Now do it again!" Their faces drained of color, and my stomach bottomed out. Connor shook his head, clenching his fist.

"We can' hit ye love." He mustered up through gritted teeth. I blinked and wiped my eyes, taking a step back from them.

"It could mean the difference between me gettin' to walk out of the station or serious jail time...please." My voice softened and the boys blinked a few times, sharing a look between them. Murphy gave con a nod, before the more resolute brother squared his shoulders with mine. Connor was going to hit me, good. I grabbed him for another quick kiss before I put more space between us and nodded for him to go for it. I loosened my shoulders and made eye contact. The tall Irishman shook his head and took a deep breath. He cocked his fist back and groaned, before letting it fly and catching me on the cheek. I felt the world around me spin as I landed on my side. Luckily I'd managed to catch myself, I hissed at my stinging pal and ringing ears.

"Fuck! Ye alrigh'?" Connor asked as he and Murphy helped me stand up. Con was shaking and I gave him a smile, happy to know he hit me hard enough to be convincing. I patted their arms and pointed towards the door.

"Yeah, I'm good. Y'all need to go..." I partially slurred out, quickly regaining my ability to speak. They stood still, looking at me with worried eyes before Noah took a firm grip on them and pushed them out of the door. Then they disappeared into the night, Noah stopped and cast a look back at me.

"Thank ya, dearest girl." I clenched my jaw and let out a gasp as I began pulling shards of glass out of my palm. My eyes focused on him for a moment.

"S'what you do for those you love." I replied simply. We held each others gazes and like the wind, he was gone. When I heard the door close, I shuddered and kicked myself into action. I walked over to where Otillo Panza laid in a puddle of blood that seemed to be thickening rapidly on the floor. I took a deep breath and tried to carelessly place the gun somewhere that made it look like I shot him and tossed it down. My heart was racing as I smelled the coffee Doc had brewing. With heavy steps I went back to Greenly and knelt beside him. My hand fished my cellphone out of my cargos before I unlocked the screen and felt the side of my face twinge in discomfort as I held it to my ear. The 911 dispatcher answered within two rings.

"911, what is your emergency." I took a deep shaky breath and tried to sound breathless.

"Hello? This is Detective Doyle, I have an officer down! There was an intrusion at McGinty's Pub on Caughlin Street. The shooter has been shot and isn't a threat, but the officer is..." I let my real tears come to the surface. "Oh God..." My voice broke and the woman on the other end began asking more questions.

"Ma'am, are you alright?" I nodded to myself, looking up to watch Doc as he walked in. The white mug in his hand shook as he fought his own nerves.

"Yes, I'm fine. The situation is under control...but I need medics here as soon as possible!" My wet calm face was a betrayal to my voice. I felt like a terrible human being. I would make sure people thought Greenly saved my hide, technically he saved all of us. Him being in that doorway had proved enough of a distraction to give us a few seconds to get to cover.

"Detective, units are on their way. It will only be a few more minuets. Do you need me to stay on the phone with you until they get there?" I sniffled loudly and sighed, trying to keep my voice somewhat jarred.

"No, I need to focus on the officer...thank you though." And with that I ended the call and slipped my phone back into my pants pocket. Again, I cradled Greenly to me and gently touched his face. It hit me like a ton of bricks how much I didn't know about him. All the times he and the other two had helped us. I did know he wasn't married, but did he have any kids? What about his family? The lack of knowledge only served to further sadden me. I leaned my forehead down to his and closed my eyes. "I'm so sorry Greenly...so sorry." Before I could think anything else I heard the blaring of sirens and the screeching of tires. The door burst open, I couldn't see though. I sat up and turned my head, listening as officers piled in, guns drawn. Two EMT's rushed past black uniforms and suits, pulling the man out of my lap and feeling for a pulse. The black man, friendly looking fellow shook his head and got my attention.

"How long?" I swallowed the lump in my throat and shrugged.

"Few minuets now." The pair sighed and shook their heads, sitting back on their ankles. I numbly watched as one got up to go check on Panza, confirming he too was dead. I just watched them all buzz around and take note of the scene.

"Amelia?" A strained voice called my name. I looked up and seen the red eyes of Dolly. He was staring at Greenly's body laying there. Oh god. I let him help me up, standing an arm's length from the man. Soon enough Duffy joined us. There was a silence between the three of us. The two men stood close to one another, before Duffy wrapped his arm around his friend and pulled him into a tight hug. Everyone left them alone while they had their moment. I just stood there shivering, feeling the tears run down my face. After a few minuets, the men pulled away from each other and turned back to me.

"Jesus kid, you okay? What happened?" Duffy asked as he touched my face and pulled me in for a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around him and whispered I'd tell him what really happened later. When I let go, I wiped my face, nat caring I smeared blood over my cheek.

"Was hangin' with Doc, Greenly decided to drop in to visit I reckon...then the other guys burst in with a 12 gauge. Greenly shielded me from the blast and the short fucker and I tussled...eventually I was able to shoot him." The two men gave me blank stares, befor Dolly snapped out of it and motioned for another cop to start taking notes and going through the spew of giving a statement. The next few hours flew by in a haze as I was taken to the station and interviewed by multiple agents and police officers. I didn't mind it so much, I just felt so exhausted. One thing that stuck out to me though was the fact I didn't see heads or tails of Bloom. Where was she?

Sometime after 7 am they let me leave, but told me not to be leaving town anytime soon. The FBI agent who handled me, Special Agent Kuntzler, was rather nice in his own ways. He didn't bat much of an eye at me. The man seemed to have bought my story...but I still felt weary. In my gut I knew he knew something was off, but I played my poker face and calmly left the station when I was released. The morning was chilly and I looked a mess. Only thing I wanted now was to get to my boys, but first I needed to get ahold of Michael and fill him in. He needed to be brought up to speed and fast. Was going to need him to head to the farm and put some things into motion. Needed to call Mom, too. My stomach twisted, Jesus. What was I going to tell her? And I knew the news was going to be blowing up with the Prudential shooting, Tristan was bound to be blowing up my phone at anytime now. True fashion to myself, I pushed it all down and hailed a cab.

Once I was in the yellow taxi, I took a second to relax and take a deep breath. I chipped for of the dried blood off my pants and wanted to smirk ruefully when my phone began chirping. I yanked it out and stared daggers at it. Speak of the devil...

"Hello?" I mumbled into the phone. Tristan's voice answered me in a flurry of enthusiasm.

"What the fuck is goin' on over there? The whole fuckin' Italian Crime syndicate gets taken out in one fail swoop? How the fuck have they not been caught?" He snorted and I rubbed my face, groaning.

"Crazy huh?" I replied, unable to form any better answers.

"Yeah! You're guys over there must be goin' apeshit! Id hate to be dealin' with this. Anythin' on your shooter, yet?" I cringed and let out a dramatic sigh. The news of Greenly's and Panza's deaths hasn't hit the news waves yet. I grunted and looked out the window.

"He's dead, Sommerfeld. Hasn't been made official yet, and don' go tellin' nobody either.." My voice deepened to stress my seriousness, I wanted to confide in him a little. I did trust him after all, we'd been through so much together as partners. As friends. Tristan grunted for me to go on.

"Always, Doyle. What happened?" I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against chilly glass of the window.

"I killed him." I spoke softly, telling him the same lie I told the police officers and agents at the police station. I had to make the story stick everywhere until the lie was no longer valid. It felt like I was pissing on the memory of Greenly, but I knew in my heart he'd want us to be able to keep doing out 'good works'. I shivered. Eventually the truth would come out, for better or worse, we'd be exposed to the light of day.

**** Birdy - People Help The People ****


	13. Rush

**A/N: *raises glass* Cheers folks. Lemme know what ya think.**  
**As always, hugs and mucho love!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS.**

**WARNING: Graphic Sexual Content Ahead.**

_"Is it me_  
_Or is everything spinning_  
_I'm wide awake_  
_But I must be dreaming_  
_It's like_  
_You're some kind of drug_  
_Try to catch my breath_  
_And see_  
_If I'm still breathing_  
_Touch my heart_  
_And make sure_  
_It's beating_  
_It's like_  
_I'm falling in love_  
_It's a rush_  
_I can't explain_  
_Like you shot something_  
_Crazy into my veins_  
_And I'm ten feet_  
_Off the ground_  
_And I don't want_  
_To come down"_

Chapter 13 - Rush

After I had gotten off the phone with Tristan, I called Michael and told him to meet with me at the Silver Peco. It was close to opening and I knew nobody would be there but Romeo's uncle and the few staff members. The conversation I was about to have left me even more tired and weary. I never wanted to involve the young Irishman in anything, but I was running out of options. I had a bug in my brain that Kuntzler would be watching my every move from here on out, so I had to be careful. When the taxi pulled up to the front of the old Mexican restaurant and bar, I paid my fare and got out. Luckily for me, not even a minuet later Michael pulled up in Shannon's old truck.

I watched patiently as he parked and got out. He was in his signature fitted jeans and tucked in, long sleeve button up shirt. Since we've been in town he's trimmed the beard up. I had to smile despite my exhaustion. Little big brother was looking quite handsome. He greeted me with the same look, not wasting time to wrap his arms around me for a warm hug.

"Ye'alright?" He asked softly. I just sighed and shrugged, holding on to him a little tighter than normally. One thing I was grateful for was how close we'd gotten these past few years. He really was a brother and he always seemed to know how bad it really was, no matter what it was. Michael squeezed back and after another few seconds, we pulled apart and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I guided us towards the door and knocked, relieved to see Romeo's Uncle unlock it and let us inside. He guided us to a booth and let us have some privacy before he brought us some coffee. We thanked him and I watched the old man retreat to the kitchen. "What's happened?" Michael asked, sounding calm. I took a sip of my coffee and set the cup down. My hazel eyes met with his bright blue ones.

"We hit the Prudential last night. Killed all the Italian bosses, took care of Consezio Yakavetta too." My voice dropped and I rubbed my face, seeing the gravity of our works hit Michael. He didn't look mad or scared, just, surprised and deep in thought. My body was sore and my eyes were tender from crying over Greenly.

"W'at else happened, 'Melia?" He asked, reaching for my forearm and squeezing it. I gave him a sad smile and took another sip of my black coffee. My chest squeezed as my throat tightened.

"We uh, circled back to Doc's and had a beer while we mulled things over. Cleaned the guns and stuff. Romeo called it an early night and went to his Uncle's to get him up to speed..." I motioned towards the kitchen. "The gentleman that let us in, that's the Uncle.." I trailed off before getting myself back on track. "Anyways, Greenly showed up to celebrate I reckon..." Again, I had to pause. The night before flashing through my mind, I swallowed it down and pushed on. "The assassin, Otillio Panza, showed up and shot him. Held Doc up and was about to shoot us until Noah showed up..." The mention of the eldest Macmanus made Michael pause before he took a sip of his coffee. He knew how I had felt about the man.

"Aye." He simply stated, motioning me to continue.

"He killed Panza, but, Greenly's dead. I got them outta there and called it in. Been at the station all fuckin' morning talkin to FEDs and locals. It's not lookin' good." Even though they hadn't let on about it, I knew we had a blood hound on our trail. I resisted the urge to shiver. Michael on the other hand, shook his head and sat back in the booth. His youthful handsome face went slack and he shook his head.

"Fuckin' hell! Now w'at?" He grunted. Indeed he hadn't ever gotten involved in anything on this level before, he still knew this was a for shit situation. I mimicked his body language and sat back, too. It felt good to rest the taught muscles in my back. It was silent between us for a little while before he pointed to my face. I shrugged and took another sip of coffee, pulling out my smokes and fishing out an ashtray from another table.

"Part of the plan. It's not that sore, don' worry about it." I dangled the cigarette between my lips before lighting it and flopping the pack down on to the table. Michael welcomed himself to one, and for once, I didn't scold him. Man was 20 after all. "They got an agent named Kuntzler, he didn't say anything...but I am sure he's connecting dots. So, I am going to need to lay low for a bit with the boys. I uh...I need to ask some favors from you. If you don't wanna..." The Irishman cut me off and shook his head, looking deathly serious.

"Bullshit. We're family. W'at ye need?" I took a second to exhale and was reminded once again how much I loved this guy. With a sad smile, I went on.

"Gonna need you to fly home and pay Jared. I'll send my card with you, there's plenty in there to cover the expenses. I still got my savings account that will more than sustain me..." Another draw off the cigarette. "Gonna need you to overnight me some stuff that's in a box under my bed. It's a uh...passport and a huge manilla folder full of papers. I am going to need those. Then there's the farm..." I took a drink and flicked my ashes into the ashtray. My hand was shaking. "I am going to sign it over to you, for now, if that's okay." I looked up to his face, trying to calculate around his calm features. It was the surprisingly misty eyes that gave him away. Before I could ask what was wrong he started asking questions.

"What te fuck is goin' on? 'Sides t'is agent, t'eres more ta t'is! Yer preparin' ta leave!" I visibly flinched, taking another hit off the smoking tobacco. I couldn't lie to him. With a small nod, I met his eyes once more.

"Yes. This time isn't like last time, I am not side lining. I've killed alotta of people these past few days, it's what I was meant to do. I can't just go back home again. I have this feelin' in my gut, it's not gonna be easy this time." My voice cracked before I could take another sip of my coffee. He was looking at me as if I'd just told him I believe in unicorns and magical sherbert. Tears were welling up in his eyes, I felt horrible. We were quiet and to my relief he didn't fight me on it, just got right down to business.

"Why give te farm ta me? Don' ye wanna sign it back o'er te yer Ma?" It was a valid question, one which I already knew the answer to.

"She's got her life in New York. She's happy with Elias. I don't want her droppin' everythin' just to keep an eye on the farm. If you're worried about money, the farm account is well off. Mom and I have kept a close eye on it through the years. She annually makes her donations to the 'fund'...she'll be there to answer questions and such. Mom would want it to stay in the family, s'why I wanna sign it over to you." I knew Mom would trust my judgement, she always has. Michael just nodded and sighed, scratching his beard.

"I love te farm, it'd be an honor." I felt my heart lighten, I knew he loved it but was afraid he'd rather be here in Boston instead. I wouldn't have blamed him for it, it's where his Dad was. "Might even try'n convince Da te move out t'ere..." Michael wiped his eyes and graced me with the signature McLaughlin smile. I rewarded him with a chuckle.

"He could open up a pub in Charleston or Elkview." I tossed the idea out there, he just grinned and nodded. After a few seconds our conversation moved on.

"What about yer job? Tristan? What te hell'r we gon'ta tell yer Ma?" These were also valid questions, I cringed.

"Honestly, I was going to call the my Captain and tell him that I would need to be staying here indefinitely for the moment. He'll take me off the roster. I'll mail in my badge. Tristan will live. He's got plenty to keep him busy, he'll forgive me eventually...if not..." I licked my lips and drank down the remaining bit of my coffee. He'll never forgive me, he'll be pissed. "As for Mom, was gonna call her after we get done talkin' and tell her I need her to fly in. What I have to say can't be done over the phone. Gotta tell her the whole truth and hope she doesn't try'n turn the boys in or anything rash." I loved my Mother. She was awesome and funny, but she could be unpredictable. I'd have to use caution. Michael grunted his agreement and looked around as a younger man started taking chairs off the tables.

"So now w'at, ye jus' walk out an' ride off inta te sunset?" His question made me roll my eyes and I reached for his hand, gripping it firmly with my much smaller one. I rubbed the pad of my thumb over calluses he'd built up on the farm.

"Nah, I'm thinkin' a big bang is more appropriate. Still got some time to kill, boys are layin' low for now. We gotta figure out our next few moves before we do anything else. I don' think Panza was workin' for Yakavetta otherwise he would have backed off after his employer was dead. Gotta get ahold of Bloom, touch base with her and find out why I didn't see her at the station." My nose flared and my eyes shut, I was starting to work on a head ache. Michael squeezed my hand and laid a 10 down on the table. He stood and pulled me up onto my feet.

"Well, ye need some sleep. Yer covered in God knows what and ye look like death. Ye need ta rest, t'en ye can call me and I'll help ye figure t'is out. I'll call yer Ma for ye af'er I drop ye off at t'is Uncle's house..." I took a deep breath and conceded to him. I smiled and made sure to thank Rome's Uncle. He told me the address and said his wife would show me around. When we walked out, he locked up behind us and I realized it must be 9 or so in the morning. I knew the boys must be worried about me, but, I would see them in a few. Michael opened the truck door for me and I piled in. I yawned the moment we took off. Before I forgot, I told him about the Subaru and handed him his keys. He shook his head and told me to hang on to them, just in case.

Ten minuets later we pulled up to a tall, beautiful brick home. It hade white moulding and neatly trimmed hedges and flowers. The old building was three stories, easily one of the nicer places in the neighborhood. I seen Romeo's rust bucket parked under a tarp that had been half ass thrown over it. I grinned, sliding out of the pick up. Michael wrapped his arm around me and walked me to the front door, watching around us as I rang the door bell.

"Nice place." Michael murmured. I nodded, grunting a 'hell yeah' back at him. Soon after, the front door swung open and a short fairly overweight woman answered.

"Hola." She said, her dark eyes blinking and looking Michael and I over. I mustered up a smile and cleared my throat.

"Hola, my name is Amelia...I believe you're housing my Irishmen?" I couldn't help but give her an honest smile as she nodded and waved me in. Michael hesitated and followed behind, not minding as the door shut behind us.

"Si, I am Roza. The boys are with their father in one of the guest rooms. Romeo is getting ready to make lunch, are you hungry?" I went to shake her hand but she pulled me in for a nice and snug embrace. Already I like Rome's people. They indeed were very nice and hospitable. As she pulled away, I motioned to Michael.

"I don't know if I should eat honestly, I am ready to pass out on my feet...Oh, I'm sorry..." I patted Michael on the shoulder. "This is my brother, Michael. He just wanted to make sure I got in alright and settled in safely." Michael gave her a smile and accepted a hug, too. I couldn't help but smile, it was slightly awkward for Roza considering how tall Michael was.

"This way." She chirped, leading us down a long hallway and up a polished wooden flight of stairs. This house was getting more and more beautiful. Once we topped the curved stair case, she informed us the room was the second door on the right. And with a quick glance over me, she also added where the bathroom was and she'd put some clothes in there for me, too. I hugged her once more and we made our way towards the bedroom. With a deep breath, I knocked on the door. I was expecting them to be asleep. I gave my companion a shrug and grabbed the door handle to open the room. Before I could twist, it opened and there stood Murphy. Instantly he yanked me to him and buried his face in my hair.

"Jesus! We were scared ye got arrested, love!" I hugged him back and let him have his moment before I pulled away and took a deep breath. I met his dark blue eyes, seeing him in a pair of obviously borrowed sleeping pants. They were black with mexican flags all over them. Murphy was shirtless, his broad chest and lean waist bare to my eyes. My stomach knotted, until Michael cleared his throat and I felt my cheeks burn. Murphy just smiled and pulled me inside, eye balling Michael but letting him in too. The next physical assault was from Connor, who like his twin was shirtless but in boxers.

"Good God woman, ye alrigh'?" The dark blonde asked as he peppered kisses to my forehead and squeezed me tightly. I nodded and returned a kiss to his jaw line. After a moment he pulled away and I took notice to Noah sitting in an arm chair by the window. By the bags under their eyes, none had slept.

"I'm fine guys, just exhausted." My voice even sounded worn out. I turned and looked at Michael, who was eyeing them just as carefully as they were him. Oh great. I guess the brother needs to make a claimed stake or something...can't say I would object. My father couldn't do it, so someone needed to. "This is Michael, you remember him right?" Murphy was the first to give him a small nod and extend his hand.

"Aye, yer Shannon's boy? Well, nota boy now eh?" I watched the two shake hands, Michael's arm flexing which told me he was applying a generous amount of pressure. Murph didn't let go, but I seen the twitch in his eye. Though Murphy and Connor could take on anyone I believe, pound for pound, Michael was a brick shit house. Michael would tear someone apart if'n he ever took the want to. With a small smirk, he replied to the dark-haired twin.

"Mhm, an' don' ye forget it." Then with that he let go and casually crossed his arms, nodding towards Connor. I couldn't help but keep grinning. I also had a feeling my Dad was looking down and nodding in approval. It also came to my attention the color that had blossomed in the twin's cheeks. Well played, Michael. Connor chose to speak up next.

"Wouldn't dare to, sir." Though it was casually spoken, I knew he meant it for both. The tension in the room soon waned off and I wavered on my feet slightly, grasping onto Connor's side to keep me upright.

"Well, I jus' wanted ta make sure te lass got in safely...I trust ye'll make sure she stays t'at way?" Michael asked, his voice sounding particularly deep and assertive. All three men nodded and I had to shake my head before reaching for my brother. Michael softened and embraced me, placing a firm kiss to the top of my head. "Ye call me if ye need anyt'ing, okay?" I squeezed him tightly and grunted when he returned it, cracking my back for me.

"You know it. Thank you for everything. I love you." There was a pause before he tole me he loved me too. With another look at the boys and one final kiss to my hair line, the young Irishman let himself out. Once his footsteps were no longer heard, Murphy let out a breath.

"Lord 'ave mercy 'Melia! What ye give te lad? He's a brute!" Murphy stared at the door for a second and flexed the hand he'd used to shake Michael's. Connor chuckled and I joined in. I braced myself against the wall as I started unlacing my boots.

"Just well-rounded meals and farm work. He's a good guy, like a brother. Love 'em to death." My voice was softer as the sleep deprivation started kicking in full force. I wasn't the only one who seemed terribly exhausted, Con and Murph were stifling yawns left and right. I'd almost forgot about Noah sitting beside the window.

"What happened?" He asked, voice calmly even as usual. I met his eyes briefly, feeling my muscle tighten under his gaze. My left boot released as I groaned and slid down the wall. My ass hit the plush beige carpet gracelessly.

"I called in the shooting. Told 'em I had been there for a drink, Greenly came in. Panza shot him, we traded some punches and I killed him." I blinked lazily and watched as Murphy and Connor took a seat on the edge of the bed, looking down at me. I seen they'd had a few tears, too. Noah finally stood, inching the gauzy white curtains to the side. His faded blue eyes scanning the trees and hedges. I heard some birds chirping.

"Did t'ey believe ye? Who questioned ye?" His eyes went back to me and I couldn't help feel a wave of annoyance. It was getting hard to think.

"I dunno, doubt it. Didn't see Bloom anywhere around the station. The FED who interrogated me was a man named Kuntzler...sharp guy. Think he knows something isn't adding up..." My eyes strayed from him and over to the corner of the room where the duffel bags were piled up and their dirty clothes were in a wicker hamper. The room was varied shades of whites and beige, accented lightly with burgundy and deep blue. It was totally out of a Better Homes magazine.

"Well w'at about..." Noah went to ask something else before Connor piped up.

"Da, can we just let'r be fer now? For Christ's sake, she's still covered in blood!" It was said evenly, but there was a hint of sternness in there. Murphy gave a silent nod, glancing over to his father.

"We gotta few days, righ'?" The dark haired twin added. Noah only blinked and then looked back to me, giving me a small nod. I nodded back, watching him walk past us and out the door. It closed with a gentle click and I let go of the breath I'd been holding. After a second, I worked my way up the wall and stood on my feet. The brothers watched me, standing to look me better in the face. Hands were all over me, gently tugging my shirt up and running over my arms. I was going to question them until I realized they were checking for injuries. Once satisfied, they stopped and walked me to the bathroom. I kissed them both quickly before stepping inside and shutting the door.

The shower was super quick, I was too tired to really enjoy the lavish marble bathroom. After I was toweled off and rinsed my teeth with mouthwash, I put on the white cotton night gown Roza had left for me. It was a little big on me but I was well covered. It came down to my knees, yeah, I was good to go. My fingers pulled out any knots in my hair before I made sure all the excess water was good and out. I braided it off to the side quickly and tied it off with my elastic. Making sure to not leave the bathroom in a total mess, I picked up my dirty clothes and went back to the bedroom where the boys were.

The small tv that was in the corner of the room was on, and Murphy and Connor were stretched out watching the news. The bottom of the screen flashed with updates about the Prudential tower shooting. Gently I closed the door and heard a sharp click. Their eyes averted to me as I piled my clothes close to our duffel bags. Without words, the boys lifted up and slid under the cream-colored comforter and sheets. I had to give them a small smile as they swapped sides to assume the old positions of how we used to sleep.

"Come ta bed, love." Murphy called to me softly. It might has well have been music because I went without hesitation. I crawled up the cushy bed, silent and falling down between the beautiful men with an 'oomph'. They pulled the covers up and over me, snuggling into my sides and careful to keep me comfortable. Despite my need for sleep, my heart was pounding in my chest. Damn, they still did this to me.

"Missed t'is." Connor mumbled as he buried his face into the right side of my neck, gently stroking the inside of my knee. Murphy made a sound signaling he agreed with his twin. My dark twin rested his arm around my middle, gently tracing patterns along my rib cage.

"Chaill mé díreach tar éis dúinn an tréimhse.( I just missed us period.)" I replied to them, before adjusting so I could comfortably start to slip away from reality. Before a minuet had transpired, I heard the soft snores from them before I too was asleep.

* * *

Movement to my left was what brought me through the veil between sleep and being awake. I remembered where I was and didn't bother my eyes. The peaceful silence told me I wasn't the only one awake. Still, I laid still and allowed myself the solace of this moment. It was so perfect it hurt me. Feeling the warmth one both my sides, feeling the welcome weight of hands gently touching my arms and hip. I flash backed to 18, remembering how we'd curl up on the couch or spend some extra time in bed with coffee. Connor had enjoyed that especially, coffee and cuddles. Not even caring, I grinned. It didn't go unnoticed, the hands touching me paused for a second.

"What ye smilin' 'bout?" Connor asked. I opened my eyes, greeted by the low droning of infomercials and darkness. It had to be past midnight. I blinked a few times before shutting my eyes again.

"Just thinkin' about the old days is all." It was a silent whisper, but it was heard. Carefully they shifted and I was at the mercy of the Macmanus. Purposely I left my eyes closed, feeling the slow paths their fingers made over the thin cotton of the borrowed night gown. Laying here right now, I felt as if five years had never happened and we were in the apartment. My skin broke out into goose bumps as I felt Murphy's lips graze my exposed shoulder. The prickly stubble on his face almost tickled. This was heaven. Connor then decided to leave his mark too as he lifted my right hand to his mouth, kissing it as if he was worshipping the little scars to found there. A contented sigh left me.

"We t'ink about t'ose days too...but..." Murphy mumbled between kisses as he worked his way slowly over to my collar bone.

"Time te make new t'ings ta t'ink about later.." Connor finished for his twin, rolly my hand over and softly kissing my palm. The stubble surrounding his soft lips was maddening, and he only made it worse when he raked his teeth across the sensitive skin there. My stomach clenched. Jesus, they were a drug. Two different elements combined to make something so powerful and addictive. Sure you could catch a high off one, but with both, Lord help me. My eyes opened to shadows and the flickering light from the television. It was almost disorienting.

"Sounds nice." I told them, meaning it very much. They kissed me for a little while longer, tasting many innocent inches of exposed skin before I felt free hands travel to the hem of the night gown. Butterflies and nerve endings were exploding in my body. I shook as they waited for me to give the go ahead to strip me bare to nothing. Funny thing was, I could be completely clothed and be naked in front of them. I rose my hips and without any other hesitation it was tugged upwards. I sat up and felt the air in the room hit my bare skin once the material was over my head. My cheeks were flaming hot, I took comfort knowing the darkness might be hiding my flushed face. There was a moment where they didn't touch me, just hovered my my sides as I laid back down and got comfortable.

Without any more words, hands returned to me. Murphy leaned down to start kissing my neck as his hand rubbed feather light circled into my stomach. Connor was kneading my thigh while he tugged my face towards him. I spotted the hint of his blue eyes in the darkness, then tasted him as his lips expertly found mine. It was languid but firm as he worked me open for him. No matter how many encounters me and Tristan had, he could never stack up to the emotions these two elicited in me. The memory of the other man faded as I lost myself in the kisses and caresses. I was being drugged in the most beautiful way. My mind was lost until a wet warmth over my left nipple. A gasp left me, only to be muffled by the dark haired twin. Murphy was slow and torturous as he licked, bit and tugged my nipple with his teeth.

"Jesus..." I groaned when he let up, pulling my face away from Connor. His dark blue eyes were dilated and I could barely distinguish blue from black. I didn't wait, actually I refused to wait any more. It's been five years. I had to have them now. My hand snaked up and I firmly gripped the back of Murph's head, crushing his lips into mine. Without prompt, Connor resumed his brother's work. The dark blonde began lavishing my right breast with attention as his fingers trailed up from knee. He lingered over my hip bone before he slid his hand down again and pulled my leg up.

"T'is alrigh?" Connor asked me, voice husky and slightly shaky. I just nodded and continued kissing his twin. The bed gave a quiet creak as Con sat up and gracefully settled between my legs. My body was on fire and I didn't mind burning. I was caught up in Murphy's kisses, but I was becoming more than hyper aware of the feather light touches between my legs. Then I felt it, the gentle probing before a hot wet tongue. I grunted and had to pull away from Murph. Before I could feel bad, he chuckled and pushed me to lay back. I didn't object but I made sure to pull him with me. As Connor worked his wonders, I nibbled and sucked my up and down the other's throat.

When more pressure was applied inside me, my hips jerked up and I shivered. My left hand glided down Murph's stomach until I found the waist band of his pants. With a quick tug, they were pulled down enough for me to grip him firmly. He approved and even lifted up to kick them off. I couldn't help but smirk. My hand found his and I tugged, I wanted him on his knees beside me. My command was obeyed and I didn't waste any time taking him slowly into my mouth. My eyes closed as I slowly worked over the head, before pushing myself down further and further. His large hands buried in my hair, holding tightly as I worked him over. Connor on the other hand lifted his mouth up from me and pushed my other leg up. He rose up and crawled over me, kissing his way up and placing tender bites here and there.

"Yer good at t'at, álainn. (beautiful.)" Murphy ground out. I smiled around him. I looked up and seen he was watching me, bottom lip sucked in between his teeth. It was easily one of the sexiest things I've ever seen. My body broke out in goose bumps again. A warm hand on my breast distracted me as I pulled away from Murphy for a moment, to fully appraise Connor. I licked my hand, stroking the dark twin while I watched him position himself. My stomach clenched in anticipation. In one quick movement Con swooped down and captured my lips before he began rubbing himself across my soaked labia. I moaned feeling the silky member pleasantly heavy against me. I tilted my hips up and gripped Murphy tighter. "Do it now, bro'ter. She's gon'ta break..." Connor's head tilted to the side, pausing a moment to stare at me.

"Le do thoil. (Please.)" I whimpered, using my free hand to rest on his shoulder. My hand tightened. His muscles were taught. The brother's hadn't aged much physically over the years but there was definitely differences. Their faces weren't those baby faces I'd first met, but more weathered and rugged. Their lithe muscles and spry forms were replaced by more filled out and firmer muscles. Connor for example was more bulky, defined and stout. Murphy was still more slim, but even he'd put on some more muscle. Their hands though, those wonderful and beautiful hands. Unchanged and still warm. That's what I was seeing right now, looking at Connor. The changes yet he was the same. I licked my lips before he captured my lips again. I wanted to growl, and as it rumbled up from my chest he began easing himself into me. The world exploded behind my eye lids. Perfect, so God damn perfect.

The hand on Murphy stilled as I let myself focus on this physical change in our dynamic. This was life, it was the reason I fought so hard to be strong. Murphy and Connor. My day and night. Once Con was all the way inside me, he stilled. I could feel the tremors working their way up from his head to his toes. It made my heart beat faster knowing I wasn't the only one who was so moved by the simple conjoining of our bodies. We three shared a moment of stillness to acknowledge this beautiful change...then I rocked against him. Connor let out a breath and placed a kiss to the corner of my right eye.

Without words he started rocking into me, gentle and controlled. As I remembered, he was well endowed but not too much above average. Murphy was practically identical to his twin, was hard to distinguish any differences there. As I tried to keep focus on the wonderful sensations Con was driving me through...I also tried to return some of my attention back to Murph. He sensed my difficulty and scooted closer so I could get my mouth around him once more. The room was quiet except for their heavy breaths and the occasional grunt from the boys. I thought it would be weird, having intercourse like this but it wasn't at all for me. Didn't seem to deter them much either. It just felt natural.

"Not gon'ta las' much longer, love. It's just te way I feel about ye..." Connor mumbled between heavy breaths. I felt for him with my free hand and cupped his face, noting the very light sheen of sweat he'd already worked up. I ran my thumb over his bottom lip and detached myself from his brother.

"Take care of 'em, ár ngrá...it's okay.(our love.)" Murphy said softly, adjusting to lay on his side.

"Want'r ta..." Connor grunted back. I was kind of lost in translation for a minuet before Murphy licked his finger tips and reached down, finding my clit. My back arched as he circled and pinched. I had one hand on Connor's face and then brought my other to touch Murphy's. Figures they'd take my pleasure as a team effort, too. Con sped up, Murphy did too. Before I knew any better my muscles were clenching and I was about to fly off into space. "So close.." Connor ground out. The tone in his voice and the pressure of Murphy's fingers moving so fast wound me up before breaking me into a million pieces. I shuddered and shook, gasping as I fell apart. As the last wave hit me, I felt Connor pull out. I was too far gone to look or panic, but the warm liquid hitting my thighs answered my curiosity. I remained still as my body righted itself and my brain started clearing the haze.

We took a moment to catch our breaths. I eventually opened my eyes when the bed shifted and Connor began wiping my leg off with a towel he must have used to dry off with earlier. I felt the blush creeping into my cheeks. Always willing to clean up his 'mess'. Once the skin was wiped clean, the dark blonde twin leaned forward and placed gentle lingering kisses to my hips bones.

"Thank you." I managed to whisper, twining my hands in his ruffled hair. Con just smiled and climbed his way up to me. Murphy drew my attention away as he lifted my hand to kiss it.

"Do ye feel like ano'ter go?" A small snicker escaped me, looking up at the older man who reminded me of a shy boy.

"I always feel like it for you two." It was true, for them I'd make time for anything. It must have been a good enough answer because he placed one last gentle kiss to my palm before tugging me up and guiding me onto my hands and knees. I had to giggle again, wasn't expecting this. It was a pleasant surprise though. With another creak of the mattress, Murphy was behind me and Connor was below me. His hands rubbed my arms and massaged my neck as Murph leaned over and planted kisses along the scar on my back. Goose bumps again broke out over my skin and my nipples hardened.

"Aye, she likes t'at." Connor tipped off his brother. Murphy ran his lips lazily over the area before going closer to my butt cheek and biting it hard enough to make me shiver. I grinned at Connor as he sat up to lean against the head-board. My braided hair was all frizzy and frayed. I didn't care though, right now the only thing I took notice to was these men.

"I do too." Murphy grunted as he gently pushed down between my shoulder blades. I spread my legs further apart and rested my upper body on Con's legs. "Perfect." Then with careful ease he began entering me. The inner walls of my vagina fluttered around him. I sucked my bottom lip in, holding back the want to moan. Murph's hands were firmly on my ass, gripping as he buried himself deep within me. The dark twin took a moment to appreciate the new closeness, but not as much time as Connor had. Within seconds he slid out and thrust back in. I sucked in a breath, feeling the fullness from a new angle. Out and then in. I gripped tightly onto Connor's legs.

Within a minuet Murph established a rhythm. It was tortuously perfect. To my relief it wasn't slow but he wasn't beating me into his brother, either. After a few minuet Connor began smoothing down my hair and running his hands over my shoulders. It was so relaxing and erotic. Soon I felt Murphy getting more erratic, I knew he was getting closer. With no shame I licked my fingers and reached down to begin rubbing myself. Connor got to feel me, so should Murphy. I went the same pace as he did, when he sped up I did too. Shortly after, I was lost to the world again. Specs of colors and lights fluttered behind my eyes as my hand stilled and Connor's grip tightened on my shoulders. Murphy groaned and ran his hands over my back, giving a few deep and hard thrusts before pulling out quickly and releasing himself across my ass.

The bed shifted as he sat back on his feet, taking a moment to catch his breath. I remained still, trying to catch mine too. After a short minuet, Murphy grabbed the towel and made sure I was wiped clean. Once he was done, Connor pulled me down to drape me across himself. Within seconds Murphy was snuggled into my other side. Comfortable silence surrounded us before anyone spoke.

"We love ye, 'Melia." Murphy mumbled into my shoulder as Connor grunted in accordance. I know you do, I thought to myself. My stomach fluttered as I pushed up and returned to my back between them. They were waiting for me to say it back. I took a deep breath and made sure I was touching them both somehow.

"Years ago I loved you. I loved you with questions in my eyes and eager lips. I would fumble and stagger all around the love I had for you." My voice broke and I blinked it away, trying to remain in check. "Now I love you with certainty. I've lived without you, I can survive on my own. I can find happiness and overcome a lot, but I like it better with you in the picture. I want you here. I love you both the way I always wanted to." My long drawn out answer released a large weight off my shoulders. I didn't fight the tears that welled in my eyes, either. It was an honest moment. The brothers noticed and took turns kissing me before snuggling back in.

"Damn, try havin' te top t'at." Connor teased and I snorted, rolling my eyes.

"Or...you fuckers can let me get some sleep." I shot back, playfully. Murphy chuckled and swatted my ass. We all made sure to get comfortable before our eyes closed once again. The sounds of their steady breaths didn't take long to lull me back into the space between awake and sleep. A contentment filled me. Id enjoy the hell out of this when I could have it because we had so many hard decisions ahead of us. More blood would be spilled, and I am pretty sure more of our luck will go bad somehow...but right now...I was just a young woman in love.

**** Ferras - Rush ****


	14. Even My Dad Does

**A/N: For of all, I want to start by apologizing to all of you for the leave of absence I have had. ****My life has been quite emotionally up and down, thus creating the WORST writers block...ever.**  
**I do hope you all can find it in your amazing hearts to forgive me. It's going to take me a while**  
**to get back to a regular updating routine considering how my life is atm. But, I am going to do **  
**my very best. Secondly, this is a crazy short chapter compared to what I am used to uploading.**  
**I just wanted to put something up without compromising the story. Please please please, feel free **  
**to comment and let me know if I am slipping or what. I have big plans for this, just going to take a **  
**while to get there. Hugs and love to you all.**

**Oh and once again, thank you so SO much to AliceFan01 for being a wonderful friend and ****an amazing inspiration to keep this story alive. Her enthusiasm is infectious. AND thank you all**  
**who have read since Pt 1 and those of you who are new to my BDS stories. Without yall I wouldn't **  
**keep on keepin' on.**

_Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS. _

_It's alright to cry_  
_Even my dad does sometimes_  
_So don't wipe your eyes_  
_Tears remind you you're alive_  
_It's alright to die_  
_'Cause death's the only thing you haven't tried_  
_But just for tonight hold on_

_So live life like you're giving all_  
_'Cause you act like you are_  
_Go ahead and just live it up_  
_Go on and tear me apart_

**Chapter 14 : Even My Dad Does**

By 9 am I was awake and dressed, Roza had washed and dried our clothes, then had them waiting for us outside the bedroom door. Romeo had knocked and brough us coffee in bed, turning redder and redder when the sight explained itself. The boys and I were naked and to quote Rome, "I was lookin' thoroughly fucked". Connor and Murphy just grinned and happily sipped their coffee. I however, blushed and excused myself to the bathroom to get ready. Roza also fed us and left around 11 to go help her husband at the Silver Peco. She wasn't gone for more than half an hour when Noah corralled us all downstairs around the dining room table.

Carefully I sat down next to Murphy, across from Connor and Romeo. Noah silently sat at the head of the table, looking much better since yesterday. His faded blue eyes scanned us and taking an extra long moment to rest on me. I fought the urge to shift under his intense gaze. Instead, I met his eyes and held his gaze. My jaw twitched, his eye brow rose. I held my tongue as we waited patiently for him to start talking. For the next hour we sat in silence, listening to the tale of Noah's youth. All the heart-break and drama, the start and end of an epic friendship. It left Connor and Noah shook up, I remained quiet. My finger nails gently scraped against the polished wood of the dining chair I was sitting in.

Connor and Murphy were asking their father questions, but I couldn't get myself to focus. Not much of this made much sense right now. My head was pounding. One of them had said my name, trying to get me in on the conversation. But to my saving grace, my cellphone started chirping. Without hesitation I held up my finger and snatched it out of my pocket. With a few quick stride I was out of the room and down the hall into the sitting room. I looked at my caller ID. It was my mother. That sick feeling returned and I groaned, Michael said he'd call her...shit. I slid my finger to the side of the screen.

"Hey Mom..." I tried saying sweetly. I heard a sigh on the other end.

"Amelia, can you tell me why I got a phone call from Michael yesterday telling me I needed to get to Boston? I have tried to call you, and as always, you're not answering your phone. So, I am in an airport waiting for my connecting flight to get me there." My eyes were large and I covered my eyes with my free hand. Damn she didn't waste any time. "Amelia Leanna, what the hell is goin' on?" I let out a sharp breath and cast a look towards the dining room, meeting the curious looks from Murphy. I mouthed 'Mom'. He suddenly looked sympathetic.

"I uh, Mom I can't talk about it over the phone. When you get here we'll talk." I tried to sound more light-hearted but I knew she seen right through my bullshit. The other end was silent for a few heart beats before she spoke.

"Fine, but you got me scared right now. Is everything okay? Are you okay?" I chewed my bottom lip for a minuet, fingering my rosary for comfort.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I've been better but all things considered, I'm fine. Just call me when you land. I love you." I knew she wanted to say more but I was pressuring to end this conversation. Annette growled but decided to give me my way this time.

"I love you, honey. See you soon." I heard the line go dead and I took a second to check my missed calls. There were six of them from Mom and two others. One was from an unknown number. I felt my face twist before I re pocketed the device and re joined the men. They were silent as I sat back down and took a deep breath.

"Sorry, was my Mom." I offered up. Con and Murph nodded, giving me knowing looks.

"Everyt'ing alrigh'?" Murphy asked as he reached over and grasped my hand in his. I felt Noah's eyes on us, but I blocked it out. No I didn't hate the old man, but I still owed him a piece of my mind.

"She's on her way in. I'm goin' to tell her as much as I can without puttin' her in danger..." I chewed my lower lip some more, spotting Connor as he sat up. His brows were almost knitted together as he scratched his goatee.

"Ye never told 'er?" His surprise was shared between him and his brother. I sighed and shook my head. Guilt ate at my heart, twisting it's fingers into my stomach. My color drained before I untangled my fingers from Murphy's and stood. I looked at them both and then to their father. Noah seemed intrigued with the whole situation, but I had a feeling he already knew why. Despite his mistakes in the past he understood me almost better than Con and Murph did on some things.

"I had to protect you two." My words were simple and to the point. The voice leaving me was soft but firm. The twins sat back in their seats, sharing one of those knowing looks between them.

"But after we left.." Murphy stated and I shrugged. For a quick second I touched the back of the dark haired twin's neck.

"I was angry and wounded, but deep down I still loved you. I had to protect you, had to also protect Dad's memory..." The truth tumbled easily from my lips and with that, the subject was put to rest. "So, catch me up to speed...the guy responsible for Panza and Father Sibeal's death was your old friend?" Noah gave the slightest of nods and took a deep breath.

"Aye, dearest girl. Jus' got te find 'im now." I returned to chewing my lip. My feet carried me to the giant window draped with layers of knitted lace and satin. I gentle pushed it to the side and seen the overcast sky above us. Their voices drowned out in the back ground as I racked my brain, trying to wrap it around this situation. I personally didn't give a two shit about the personal aspect of this ghost from Noah's past. I just wanted to dispense our Irish brand of justice and move on. I wasn't under the illusion this would be the last monster we'd find to wander across our path, but I hoped it would be over soon enough for now.

Before too long, Connor and Murphy left to meet up with Michael to retrieve some of our stuff and start preparing for Mom's arrival. We'd set her up at Doc's for her stay here. I sent one of my credit cards with them too. It would be given to Michael so he can buy his ticket back home to start making preparations for my impending unavoidable absence. Romeo stayed behind to start preparing for dinner, he'd mentioned something along the lines of earning our keep. I was on my third cup of coffee when Noah joined me on the back patio. His clothes were all black and his long white hair was neatly combed and resting on his shoulders. But he looked years older, he looked tired. There was a sadness in his eyes that seemed to reach out and touch me. I shivered as the wind picked up and caressed my bare arms. The air thickened for a moment before the tension released as Noah spoke up.

"Storms a'comin, girl." He stood perfectly still, hands in his pockets. Noah's face was turned up towards the heavens. I took a sip of my coffee, taking a moment to look up.

"Indeed it is." I replied, not really knowing what to say back. Another long silence and I seen the elder man's shoulders relax. He took a step closer to me and I watched as his lips drew a tight line. We'd barely had a moment to breathe and now he wanted to talk to me. I knew it was going to happen, I'd even been looking forward to it. The past five years I'd had plenty of time to figure exactly what I would want to say...but seeing him now...I felt the balloon in my chest slowly starting to deflate.

"Amelia, I just wanted ye all safe." I wasn't much surprised by it, I'd already known this. "As a father, one who'd been absent most of t'er life..." He paused before continuing. "I felt like I owed it to 'em ta keep 'em safe. Ta keep you safe. I'd know te moment I saw ye wit' 'em t'ey loved ye. And you t'em." My heart started breaking slowly as I heard the uncertainty in his voice. My throat tightened and I held on tightly to my coffee cup. My shut mouth must have had him concerned because he went on. "Hope ye believe me when I say I can't express how sorry I am, dearest girl." My breath hitched. I blinked and ignored the moisture collecting in my eyes.

"Five years ago I would have gotten myself killed or gotten them killed. I spent all those years in between thinkin' of what I'd say to you if ever given the chance..." I stopped talking to wipe my thumb under my left eye. "But I see why you did it now. I'm ready now and you know this, they know it. I do love them and if it comes down to it, I'll die for 'em. I forgive you Noah, I do." I stopped speaking long enough to reach out and touch his arm, giving a gentle squeeze. The weight of the last remnants of anger left me in seconds, but I still had one more point to make. "But, if you ever try another stunt like that I swear to all that's holy I will hunt you down and kill you myself." Though I was completely serious, he rewarded my honesty with a small smile. With a chuckle he pulled out a cigar and lit it, puffing until it was smoking steadily.

"An' I believe ye, but it'll never happen again. They need ya to lean on, an' vice versa. We're a family born of blood, faith and bullets." I tried not to, but a smile forced itself onto my face as we stood there looking over the perfectly manicured back lawn. Above us the sky slowly darkened and thunder echoed through Boston. For a moment my heart skipped a beat, the thought of all the restless souls never put to rest walking the streets. I shivered and took another gulp of my hot coffee. I have learned through the years if something feels ominous then it most likely is. Especially the thunder.

"This is goin' to be bad, isn't it?" I asked in half whisper, knowing Noah would hear me. My hazel eyes looked up to see his blue ones fixed straight ahead. He gave a nod and chewed the cigar. The slow movement of his hand perplexed me. For a moment in time he looked his true age. Noah looked worn down and weary. He plucked the cigar from between his teeth and flicked the ash off it. I was painfully reminded that the legendary 'Il Duce' was indeed human and old. Mortal and would too pass from this world eventually, just like us. White hot fear shot through me. I wasn't ready to think about death for any of us. We might deal it out, but it's not a justice I am ready to answer to yet. Worse even, see one of the boys answer to.

"Jus' take care of em, 'Melia. We all must face our maker sometime. We live by te sword, we'll all die by te sword. Te world is changing and it's crimes. People have no respect for one anoth'r. It needs it's Saints, rebirth by fear an' justice." He paused to take a long deep drag of his cigar. I felt as if the air touching me was turning into ice. His words reverberating deep into my core. It was truth, oh so sad but true. "My body has gotten old an' me trigger fing'rs are ready fer rest..." Now he looked to me, sad knowledge trying to transfer to me. I blinked and knew he was preparing for the end. A quiet acceptance. He knew it, there was a certainty within those eyes. I didn't doubt him. He'd seen too much to not know. But the defiance I was well known for flared up. If he got hurt or died, Murphy and Connor would be devastated. I set my jaw and squared my shoulders.

"I guess we'll have to make sure you get more naps then. Don't talk like this to them, Noah. They still need you." I was gruff and enforced my words with a reprimanding look. The older man just sighed and shook his head. I knew they still needed because there will never be a day where I feel like I don't still need my Dad. It angered me to think he was possibly just ready to accept whatever fate happened upon him. Hell no. We would fight tooth and nail to keep this family together.

"Which is why 'M speakin' wit ye, 'Melia. My boys are grown an' have learnt everyt'ing tey are ever gon'ta learn from me." I shook my head and cut him off, side stepping away from him.

"No. I don't accept that and neither would they. We are going to figure this shit out and we're going to all walk away from this. You are goin' to be around a long time to be a pain in my ass, ya understand? That's that. They need you." My hand was clasped tightly around my cup, slightly shaking. He took note of this and a frown etched itself deeper into his face.

"Nev'r said I wouldn't fight, jus' preparin fer te inevitable. Not afraid of it. When te Lord calls me home, I shall go baring all te fruits of te labor he's asked of me. Migh' not be this storm, but eventually it will get me. When it does happen, ye'll need to keep em goin' girl." I sighed and nodded.

"You know I will, Noah. Always." I almost jumped when I felt his hand rest on my shoulder, I hadn't seen him move. He squeezed firmly and flicked the cigar once more.

"Thank you. You're a good woman, m'boys are lucky. I just have one more t'ing ta ask of ye..." I gave him a small smile, trying to understand him the best I could from his perspective. After everything we have been through it was too painful to imagine how losing their father would effect them. But, I trusted Noah because we were alike. No matter the cost we'd always do what we'd have to do to protect the ones we love. We were kindred spirits this way, and for that I would humor him in whatever request he'd ask of me.

****Ed Sheeran - Even My Dad Does****


End file.
